What do you know about obtaining power of attorney

[Hoot]

*sigh*

My grandmother has Alzheimer's induced dementia and is declining much more quickly than I had ever anticipated. Unfortunately, I'm the only one left that she trusts so it looks like I'm going to have to do something drastic soon. I've been helping her with her basic tasks every week, but I don't live close enough to be there every day. I went down to do her laundry this morning only to find that she hadn't taken her medicine in at least 2 days. I was there 4 hours, but just 3 hours later I was called by her neighbor to come back. Apparently, she had tried to go outside to the mailbox, slipped on the ice, and couldn't get back up. We have no idea how long she was outside but when the ambulance came, she refused to go with them. By the time I made it back to her house they were already gone. I talked to one of the medics on the phone, but we couldn't make her go to the hospital.

 

I think we're at a point she's she is going to need to be placed in an assisted living facility. I don't live close enough to be with her and she won't come live with me. I'm at a loss but I think that obtaining power of attorney is probably the first step.

 

Anyone else been through this? Any advice?

[Ravin]

My advice is to seek the advice of an attorney in the state where she lives who works on this sort of thing, or call adult social services for advice/referral.

[Pawz4me]

I haven't BTDT, but I think you need to consult an attorney who specializes in elder law..  If she already has a diagnosis of dementia, getting a valid POA may be a bit tricky at this point.  It's possible she'll need to be declared incompetent first.

[texasmama]

I have General Durable Power of Attorney and a Medical POA for my dad.  Dh has one for his grandmother.

 

When dh's grandmother declined and we realized she had dementia, we rushed through the process of obtaining the documents prior to a dx of dementia.  I actually typed up the documents, using my dad's as a reference.  (My dad had this done years back through an attorney because he is a planner.  No one in dh's family is a planner.)  You need both documents.  We had her sign it in the presence of a notary.  The specifics vary from state to state, but in Texas, my dh can do anything as his grandmother's representative except for selling her home (because the document is not filed with the court).  He has rented her house, sold her car and conducted business with the IRS on her behalf.

 

[texasmama]

Additionally, if you are too late to get a valid POA due to a dementia diagnosis on record, in Texas one has to go through the process of being declared someone's guardian.  This costs several thousand dollars and takes about a month.  I had to look into it at one point for a relative, but that crisis passed.  Again, this is state specific information so your state may differ.

[PentecostalMom]

I know that there are several agencies that assist with the needs of the elderly that may be able to give you guidance.

[zoobie]

If she has reached the point of incapacity, you're going to have to get guardianship appointed. It's very easy to do if the person is considered competent. You need an attorney to figure out where she is on the competence spectrum and get this moved along quickly. A good elder law attorney will be able to help you with this paperwork as well as advise you on assets, etc.

[StephanieZ]

There are two distinct types of POA that you'd need. One is a "durable general POA" and that is for financial and legal stuff. The other is the "Health Care POA" or "Health Care Agent" designation. That one gives you the medical authority (including determining where she resides if it is medically at issue.

 

If there are any other potential heirs who might fight you for POA for any reason, then you might be in for trouble.

 

Meanwhile, you need to get to an estate attorney YESTERDAY. Ideally, one who already knows your grandma and you. Someone is going to have to execute these POAs while she is STILL IN SOUND MIND. Otherwise, she can't execute them  .. . which means that you and the estate attorney have a VERY expensive guardianship process ahead of you. Be aware, though, that legal competence is perfectly feasible at this stage . . . she doesn't have to be competent 24/7, just competent long enough to sign. But, hurry. Someone, later, could fight you to overturn documents, especially if her competence is questionable right now. If you are able to execute documents now . . . I'd try to get her an appointment with her current doctor as close in date to the legal signing as possible. Take her when she is at her best, and ask the doctor to document her condition . . . that could help you later. 

 

Meanwhile, be sure to keep careful track of all financial transactions, so that if, in the future, there are any questions, it is clear that you didn't take advantage. 

 

(((hugs))) and hang in there. It is a rough road. I know.

[datgh]

I would see an elder care lawyer as soon as possible.  I would also see if your grandmother will let you go to the doctor with you to make sure her medications are the correct one and at the right dosage.  You GMA sounds like my MIL.  A big part of my MIL's problems stemmed from not medicating properly, not eating properly and needing some of her meds. changed.  Doing all this didn't cure the dementia but it went a long way to getting my MIL back to a "competent" state so we could take care of all the POA paperwork. :grouphug:  This is a tough process to go through.  If it gives you any hope, my MIL fought leaving her home but we just couldn't leave her alone anymore for her own safety. She did not want to go to assisted living at all.  My SIL had my MIL living with her for a while but it was really stressful and my SIL and BIL worked full time so MIL was alone all day.  My SIL finally moved her to an assisted living facility and my MIL absolutely loves it.  She is so shocked that she does but realizes now she is happy because she has made so many friends there who are in the same boat as she is. Her world had shrunk while she was still in her house because she just couldn't remember how to get where she wanted to go and most of her friends had died off or moved away. My MIL gets three square meals a day and the staff keeps an eye on her making sure she is eating well.  They also make sure she gets the right meds at the right times.  My MIL's dementia has improved so much.  She knows she can't live alone anymore but is totally ok with it because she is having a blast where she is. So don't give up hope. Our biggest worry now is that she is so healthy that she is going to easily out live her money.