ErinE Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 http://online.wsj.com/articles/the-wrong-way-to-treat-child-geniuses-1401484790?tesla=y&mod=trending_now_3 Opinion piece on the benefits of teaching character and grit even for children where education is easy. I thought the section on students "damaged by the cult of genius" was interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewelma Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I never told my older that he was advanced. And when he was 10, he told me that he was bad at math. I had ramped up the challenge to the point that it was hard, and because it was never easy, my son thought that he had below average math skills. :crying: At that point, I tried to explain, really tried. But he did NOT believe me. For years. I was more careful with my younger. Ruth in NZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndOfOrdinary Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I think one of the big issues with not talking to kids about being gifted is that the brain actually functions differently causing you to think about the world from a skewed perspective (for lack of a better word.) My parents just always told me I was smart. That was it. They tested like crazy and school was very simple for me. I was always doing something different than the other kids, but I just thought they did not want to learn new things. None of them seemed excited about learning, and to me that was it. I had no concept that my view of the world was that different from everyone else's. The social issues I had in school, I now realize, were the result of not recognizing how very differently I was experiencing the world. Perfectionism, intensity, emotional struggles due to in depth worry or thought, inability to relate to peers, black and white thoughts and moral obligations, etc are very common traits of gifted kids. They are also traits which can be socially navigated if the kid is aware. Talking to gifted kids about how to make their intensity socially acceptable is really important. It can ease years of pain. We are honest with kids who have learning disabilities so they can learn to cope, why would we not do that with PG kids? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Well, how about that! I was totally unaware that we all thought math should only be studied by 'geniuses'. I thought math was good for everyone to learn. Oh wait, I was right. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I think I have seen this one before. The kids who get high scores in SAT at young ages are the kids who have been encouraged and provided some degree of opportunity. It doesn't include the kids who have given up (either by developing behavoir problems or simply switching off or running down), or who have decided the troublemakers are more fun, or that drugs dull the pain, or developed severe cases of anxiety, depression, impostor syndrome etc. If you make it to 13 intact you have survived the worst bits and have a good chance of success. What gifted kids need is not a big fuss or claims they can save the world but an appropriate academic provision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 What gifted kids need is not a big fuss or claims they can save the world but an appropriate academic provision. YES. Exactly. + eleventy billion. Telling kids that they have an obligation to use their great brain for good puts such pressure on them. Maybe they don't WANT to save the world. Maybe they just want to have a normal boring life and enjoy intellectual pursuits in their spare time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 What I've found is that DD gets enough of those messages from others that it's my job to be realistic-and validate all sides. There's a reason our homeschool mascot is a hydra, and our current motto is "because no two minds think the same way" (it sounds more impressive in Latin)- when we only have one student! She IS the hydra-and the "mind" that enjoys running around and riding her scooter with the neigborhood little girl who hates snakes can coexist with the "mind" that wants the whole world to recognize that pythons are as worthy of love and protection as pandas and tigers. The mind that loves doing hard math can coexist with the mind that just wants to relax and veg out now and then (she was in tears yesterday because we're on vacation, and there's a nice wooded piece behind the hotel that is probably perfect for snakes, but she really, really wanted to stay in the room and play Neopets-and felt that a "real" herpetologist should always want to do science. I told her that vacant is there for a reason-and that if I can enjoy relaxing with a stack of books and not having to homeschool her, cook, clean, etc, she can certainly enjoy not looking for snakes for a few days!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erin Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 From the article: Those of us who managed sky-high SAT scores at 13 were 20 times as likely as the average American to get a doctorate; let's say, being charitable, that we're 100 times as likely to make a significant scientific advance. Since we're only 1 in 10,000 of the U.S. population, that still leaves 99% of scientific advances to be made by all those other kids who didn't get an early ticket to the genius club. We geniuses aren't going to solve all the riddles. Most child prodigies are highly successful—but most highly successful people weren't child prodigies. This tends to be the philosophy at our house. We don't have geniuses here, just gifted, but even still. I often tell my kids that after you're out of school, no one cares how smart you are. They care how hard, or efficiently, you work. Telling kids that they have an obligation to use their great brain for good puts such pressure on them. Maybe they don't WANT to save the world. Maybe they just want to have a normal boring life and enjoy intellectual pursuits in their spare time. I agree. Somewhere in the "When did you realize you were gifted" conversation I think it was, several of us mentioned we felt guilty that we'd gotten a good gifted education, were intelligent, and still didn't do any more than anyone else would. I don't want to saddle my kids with that guilt, I guess... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azalea Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Great article, thanks for posting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebunny Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 From the article: I agree. Somewhere in the "When did you realize you were gifted" conversation I think it was, several of us mentioned we felt guilty that we'd gotten a good gifted education, were intelligent, and still didn't do any more than anyone else would. I don't want to saddle my kids with that guilt, I guess... "There is no heavier burden than a great potential"- Linus (from Peanuts). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Somewhere in the "When did you realize you were gifted" conversation I think it was, several of us mentioned we felt guilty that we'd gotten a good gifted education, were intelligent, and still didn't do any more than anyone else would. I don't want to saddle my kids with that guilt, I guess... Yes. I was in SET as well, and it took me a long time to get over the idea of being a researcher just because I thought that I "should". Now I teach math at a small college. I love my job. I wake up on Monday happy to go to work. I do especially well helping students with developmental math -- for some reason I'm able to communicate with them and break it down for them. I'm not solving all the problems of the world. I'm not even making a major change in it. But I'm changing the part of it I can affect. And that has to be enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LikeToListen Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I think one of the big issues with not talking to kids about being gifted is that the brain actually functions differently causing you to think about the world from a skewed perspective (for lack of a better word.) The social issues I had in school, I now realize, were the result of not recognizing how very differently I was experiencing the world. Perfectionism, intensity, emotional struggles due to in depth worry or thought, inability to relate to peers, black and white thoughts and moral obligations, etc are very common traits of gifted kids. They are also traits which can be socially navigated if the kid is aware. Talking to gifted kids about how to make their intensity socially acceptable is really important. It can ease years of pain. We are honest with kids who have learning disabilities so they can learn to cope, why would we not do that with PG kids? Exactly... I never realized I had skills until they were put to use at work. I have just started reading about being gifted - I am not sure if I could be one, but I am very good at certain things than most others. I can handle huge volumes of information and process them in my head without needing a pen or paper . That is my skill. I never realized it because public school taught me memorization and that was a direct conflict with my processing/analysis skills. I was made to feel so average because I was trying to comprehend/analyze it in a different/more complex way and needed help. And talk about the fear of "having to be right" and setting high standards for ourselves. Only when I started working, I realized (rather discovered) that I could actually perform well than most others. Things that take multiple people a few hours in a meeting room, I could solve it in my head in minutes. Finally after all these years of self-analysis and discovery, at 30, I have found a profession that I could enjoy and use my abilities and have the self-satisfaction. I might not need a big victory, but at a minimum, I need a self-satisfaction and realize being different is a blessing and not an issue with me. I just needed someone to understand my approach and look at things in a way that my brain wanted to and give me the much needed motivation and assurance. I could see the same skills/pattern in my daughter (4yrs), and I am wholeheartedly trying to be the one for her to see/visualize things her way and provide that motivation and assurance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zarabellesmom Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 YES. Exactly. + eleventy billion. Telling kids that they have an obligation to use their great brain for good puts such pressure on them. Maybe they don't WANT to save the world. Maybe they just want to have a normal boring life and enjoy intellectual pursuits in their spare time. Or sit around playing video games....like my husband does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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