Do I need more structure or less?

[EmmaNZ]

Could use some advice, especially from those with larger families.

 

We have homeschooled for almost 5 years now. I have 5 children ages 9, 7, 6, 4 and 1. We homeschool for many reasons, but one of the main reasons is academic.

 

The thing is recently we haven't been doing that much academics! It isn't the children not wanting to do it, it is me. We manage the basics for everybody almost everyday. That's reading, maths, writing and some religious studies. By the time I've got through that with 3 children and done some letters with my 4 year old (because he requests it) I'm tired. I just can't find it in me to get on with history or science or whatever. I am not so worried for the younger ones, but the nine year old is bright and fast and could be doing more.

 

I have no help at all and my husband works long hours. Generally I am not keeping up at the moment. The house is not to my usual standard, meals are simpler, not much baking which I really enjoy.

 

So here's my question. Is this ok for now? My life is busy and tiring with lots of little people. Do I just accept that? Or is this not enough? Would I do better with some more accountability like a schedule or something so I don't just keep bumping the things I can't face? I'm not a schedule/lesson planning sort of gal so this would be a steep learning curve for me.

 

Any and all thoughts and advice gratefully received!

[Chris in VA]

I think it's ok for now. :grouphug:

 

That said, for me, history (and science/art/music, but particularly history) provided the "zip" in our homeschool.

I would have felt bogged down if we only had the basics.

 

So maybe, twice a week, you could START with one of the more fun things. Change it up a bit. I used history to practice writing, what with narration/copywork, and the activities gave us some exposure to art/math via cooking/discussion time.

 

We also read aloud some history-based books--mostly historical fiction. We had other read alouds going, too, and dd was a good reader for her age, so she read some books set in other times, too. Not just those, of course, but they helped flesh out SOTW.

 

What do you think of maybe starting with a content subject once in a while?

 

ETA--Do you school year-round? If not, you could just finish up and take some time off--you do sound a bit tired! Totally understandably! If you do school thru the summer, perhaps doing history/science/etc more intentionally then would make you feel better about skipping that.

 

Also, AFA schedules-I'm totally "do the next thing." If I had too much of a schedule, it'd make me feel locked in. I did, however, want to have a little structure. So, I took a sheet of notebook paper, and wrote out Day 1 Day 2, etc down one side, and put our grammar into bit sized pieces so I knew we'd finish (I used Rod and Staff, and didn't keep up very well with it, so I needed to know I could get thru it). I kept revising the little sched, but because it was just on notebook paper, it didn't bother me to cross out or just rewrite once in a while. I love how "pretty" schedules are in plan books, and I did sometimes use one, but it was frustrating to me when my loosey-goosey self couldn't stick to it.

[AK_Mom4]

I really like Chris's idea of starting your day twice a week with "the fun stuff".

 

That being said..... Dd12 has always done history and science independently, with me just providing materials and an extra pair of hands for experiments. Look for materials for the two oldest that they can read and do activities on their own. Several years, we used workbooks for science and a lit-based history (History Odyesse).

[kiwi mum]

Is it enough? Legally, you need to be able to honestly sign your statutory declaration twice a year that your children are being taught as regularly and as well as they would be in a registered school. If you can do that, then legally it is enough (even if it is not your ideal for now).

 

If you do feel you need to add more, then having your kids do more doesn't need to require too much more from you. A couple of times a week you could have your 9 year old read something like SOTW to the 7 and 6 year olds while you work with the 4 year old. Then at a mealtime you could ask them about what they read. That would get history covered with very little extra work on your part. Your 9 year old could also get library books on history or science topics to read independently.

 

 

 

 

[Heidi]

That is really an impossible question for anyone to answer, IMO. Every family dynamic is different. Everyone's idea of a good education is different.

Like others said, it is easy to throw in science and history with little effort on your part if you feel it is necessary. Those subjects can be fairly independent at age 9. They also aren't essential in elementary, IMO. You do what you feel like is best for your family.

[Alte Veste Academy]

We homeschool for many reasons, but one of the main reasons is academic.

 

The thing is recently we haven't been doing that much academics!

This plus the ages of your older children make me think more structure would be the way to go.

 

It isn't the children not wanting to do it, it is me. We manage the basics for everybody almost everyday. That's reading, maths, writing and some religious studies. By the time I've got through that with 3 children and done some letters with my 4 year old (because he requests it) I'm tired. I just can't find it in me to get on with history or science or whatever. I am not so worried for the younger ones, but the nine year old is bright and fast and could be doing more.

 

I have no help at all and my husband works long hours. Generally I am not keeping up at the moment. The house is not to my usual standard, meals are simpler, not much baking which I really enjoy.

I have been there, only with three kids instead of five, so I can only imagine how much more exhausted I would have felt still having little people in the mix. :grouphug: That said, and knowing you are asking if it's OK... You don't seem like it is OK with you. It seems like you know change is needed but are too tired to imagine that change. Been there too!

 

The best decision I made for my homeschool when my three kids were just a bit younger than your oldest three was to move content work to the morning hours (folding in as much skillwork as possible) and doing one-on-one skill work with each kid in the afternoon. (I have maintained this even as they have also started with more independent work in the afternoon as well, which is what has ultimately made this a sustainable schedule for us.)

 

I realized that the content subjects require a certain energy from me that I just did not possess in the afternoon. I had it in the morning, but it was sapped from me every morning I spent wrangling and juggling kids in skill subjects. It was a madhouse trying to teach three kids three different levels of math at the same time. Couldn't do it! So people would get distracted, wander off, whatever, which was not OK because it was School Time! LOL And if I tried to assign independent work to two so I could quick teach the other, invariably I was interrupted with, "I need heeeelp" and then the kid(s) would be sitting there slouched over waiting for me to (rush!) finish with the kid I was teaching to come help. Juggling. Exhausting.

 

When I moved content to the morning, it was lovely. Projects, coloring pages, documentaries, nature walks, science experiments, notebooks kept at each kid's level, read-alouds (while working on puzzles, play-dough, blocks, coloring pages, etc.)... It was like night and day from a morning of skill work with three kids. Then the afternoon... I took the oldest first, and the others got to go play and/or do something independently (that they really could do independently (like watch an educational video, or play a game, or read a chapter, or...). I started taking them one at a time and there was no more juggling or wasted time. The best part was no more interruptions because at this point in the day, they were happy to part from me to do this fun thing or just go their own way for play.

 

Obviously, this is trickier for you with the younger two, so... Do your younger two still nap? Can/do they entertain each other? Do they color or play quietly for any length of time? Are you familiar with the idea of busy boxes to pull out for school?

 

What programs do you use? Is everything teacher intensive or no? If it is, are you open to changing to less teacher intensive programs and/o how much can you teach them together (both skill and content)? Can anyone do any independent work yet?

 

So here's my question. Is this ok for now? My life is busy and tiring with lots of little people. Do I just accept that? Or is this not enough? Would I do better with some more accountability like a schedule or something so I don't just keep bumping the things I can't face? I'm not a schedule/lesson planning sort of gal so this would be a steep learning curve for me.

 

Any and all thoughts and advice gratefully received!

Honestly, I think your oldest needs more, even if that is consciously made into lifestyle learning rather than strictly scheduled. I will say, however, what ultimately helped me feel more capable and less erratic was strict adherence to a life/school schedule that I created for myself when I was in a similar place.

[Heidi]

You know, I wouldn't be able to accomplish much if my kids didn't help me out with the house and the babies. I don't know your family dynamics, but my dd10 (she will be 10 this Monday), dd8, and dd6 clean the house twice a day. I clean the kitchen and make the meals and wash the laundry. Maybe you could train them to help out more? And yes, our household runs on a fairly strict schedule. By nature I am lazy and unorganized, but I've found that I get into some serious funks when the house is a mess. And I feel terribly guilty if I don't accomplish everything *I* feel is necessary for a good day of school. So I've made many many schedules over the years and have figured out, mostly, what works for us. That said, I distill don't do meals very well. We have sandwiches, cereal, or pancakes for dinner way more often than I would care to admit. (Guess which we had tonight?). Anyway, you've got some helpers there. Train them to help.

A few things that help, in addition to having a school and cleaning schedule:

1. I need to get enough sleep at night.

2. Get everyone eating breakfast as early as possible, then get them dressed for the day instead of lounging around in pajamas. Start school immediately after.

3. Teacher intensive stuff (my part) is done first thing. I rotate one on one time with the kids and assign kids to play with the babies.

 

If the day starts off right I can fit a lot in and feel like I've done a good job at the end of the day.

[abba12]

Two ideas to consider.

 

1. Move to a '4 day week' for the basics, then dedicate one day a week purely to science and history. You can get a lot done in that intensive, dedicated day, and at those ages a 4 day week for the basics isn't too hard to schedule.

 

2. Look for independent resources. My mum didn't begin teaching science and history until we were old enough to do it mostly independently, because it was just too much for her to teach (she had 4 kids, similar ages except without your 'middle' one). I'm thinking specifically of the 9yo here. It doesn't mean just hand it off to her, but look for interesting books, interesting videos, and 'assign' them. Find some science kits like those soap/makeup science experiments, or a snap circuits board, and teach her to feel confident using it herself without you over her shoulder. Plan for one day a week to sit down with her and go over what she is learning and help with experiments, etc. Don't let your lack of time hold her back, teach her not to need you so much.  Same applies for history.

[There'sNoPlaceLikeHome]

Heidi said:

You know, I wouldn't be able to accomplish much if my kids didn't help me out with the house and the babies... Anyway, you've got some helpers there. Train them to help.


Yes to this!!!

Some of the resources from Titus2.com have been helpful for me. I learned to schedule my life with Managers of Their Homes. I don't follow it exactly now, but I still definitely have a clear schedule.

You know what I have found? The older my kids have gotten the more important a schedule is for our family. We have five schooling now and a baby. I can't imagine trying to get school accomplished without a schedule. I am so prone to just skip it or forget it if it isn't in the schedule. If you don't do school in the summer, it is a great time to teach chores, make chore assignments, and make a schedule for next year.

We have also grouped our students for teaching times whenever possible. Our second grader listened in to our fifth grade grammar class, did most of the assignments, and scored in the 90%'s on all the tests. History and science can definitely be done together. Using video to teach math has also been a huge time-saver.

The question of whether or not you are doing enough is a personal decision, but I think it is better to make that decision before the school year begins, not in the middle of a tiresome day. If you feel you need to add more, then plan when and how you will accomplish it. Even if you don't want to add anything at this time, learning to live by a schedule can help you get more accomplished in less time, and can help everyone feel better.

Be realistic in your planning, or you will never follow through. Then figure out how you are going to hold yourself and your dc accountable. Perhaps weekly assignment sheets printed at the beginning of the school year would help. We have assignment sheets with all the daily assignments or lessons written on them and a place for the dc to check them off when they are finished. You might also post the daily schedule in a prominent place. I have also used reminder apps that alarm when it is time for me to move on to the next lesson. It forced me to mark off the lessons as we finished them.

A schedule is a tool, not a master, and there are certainly times we have skipped lessons because of life's interruptions (which I believe are really part of God's schedule, anyway). But, we are much more disciplined to accomplish what we intend to accomplish with a schedule.

[MomintheMountains]

I am not a schedule person, but I think one is necessary if you are homeschooling and have a large family. The self discipline can be hard for some of us (ahem, me), but it really does help. I have five- homeschooling three with a little tagging along and the biggest going to the public high school. I don't schedule exact times, but I block schedule. A book called Mother's Rule of Life really helped me. It contains advice about scheduling, but it has you identify your spiritual and relational priorities first. The schedule is a tool.

[mamamindy]

:grouphug: Thanks for posting.  I'm in a similar spot in life as you.  Lots of great advice you've been given. :)

[EmmaNZ]

Thank you all so much for taking the time to share your wisdom and varying opinions. It has been really helpful. Reading your responses does make me wonder if this is actually a perception issue. We are already doing many of the things you are suggesting in terms of increasing the workload (varied reading, SOTW lite, basic science). I think because I haven't written it down, or maybe because I'm not doing the whole shebang on every curriculum it feels like I'm not doing it at all. Whatever the reason, the reflection has made me see that it isn't as bad as I might think it is some days!

 

It does seem as if a schedule of sorts might be worth looking into. A little more accountability. A little less chaos. I like your idea of switching the day around Alte Veste, and I have considered it, but have never had the guts to change from what we've been doing. I guess the time to try something new is when what you've been doing isn't working - which is now for us.

 

So....a schedule! Any tips for a first timer with not many hours in the day to sit and think?!

[AK_Mom4]

We do a super simple schedule.  On Sunday, I write down in a planner everything that DD13 is to work on for the week.  Math, Science, History - not much detail, but just enough to know what I want her to do.  As she finishes each thing, she checks it off in the planner.  Anything we don't get to that week (hey!  It Happens!) just rolls over and I write it in for the next week.  I don't assign times (9am math, 10am History) because we have lots of interruptions some days, but having her responsible for checking things off has made it easier to make sure we get things done.  We have been doing the simple planner ever since she was 7yo.  It is nice because if she is waiting for me to help her, she can look at the planner and see what else there is to be done and work on it while she is waiting.

 

It also lets me see quickly what is getting skipped each week so I can make changes if needed.