If your 5th/6th grader was going back to school..LONG :/

[jnaj]

I have my son on a waiting list for a local charter school. He will be going into 6th grade in the fall. This was his first year homeschooling (due to both us moving, and he has been struggling in school- we did an assessment and he has been receiving weekly language/educational therapy for inference and comprehension issue. He is still testing at a 3rd/4th grade level for comprehension and 4th grade level for spelling, but he is at grade level or above for other things. The comprehension is definitely hindering his abilities in other subjects though..)

 

I cannot homeschool him anymore. It is seriously ruining our relationship, and his relationship with everyone else. He has been going one day a week to a homeschool enrichment program, but at home he literally refuses to work with me. Any work we do together is a struggle or a fight and he is just rude and disrespectful to everyone. He is currently in the process of getting evaluated with a psychiatrist for any other possible issues going on. But I am literally in tears over how things have gotten this past year. I can't handle it anymore, it is wearing me down. 

 

I want him to succeed, and I want to help him, but honestly I think he is better off going to a school (not a regular public school..the classes are way to large..but the charter is a good compromise. Even a small private school, but I would need to get him on level before that would even be a possibility..) We cannot be around each other all day everyday. Every time his 6 year old sister is working on her work, if she gets something wrong or asks questions he is mean to her and sits there making comments about her...I'm sure this comes from his own insecurities in himself, which I have been trying and trying to build his self esteem and make him feel better about himself. It's just so difficult when he is here making everyone in the house miserable. 

 

Ok, with all that being said- I do not know if he will get into this charter school, but I would like to assume that he will (he is 3rd on the list and they seemed optimistic he would get in.) I want him to continue to work this summer and hopefully improve in his weaker areas, but it cannot be much one on one work with me. It's too stressful for all of us. He is so much more pleasant to be around when he has been in school or at an activity for part or all of the day. He IS a sweet kid, he just has a lot of stress and things going on, and I hope these evaluations help us figure out how to help him and how I can work with him to get through this and just improve everything all around.

 

He is not good at doing independent work AT ALL.

 

Math- I do have him doing teaching textbooks for math, and also a math tutor once a week, plus he just started Aloha Mind Math yesterday (he really wanted to, and I figured it could not hurt.) I think that will be enough for math this summer..right? I just can't work with him on math. Seriously. We can't. I don't know how to work with him- I hope to learn how to work with him.

 

For Grammar/Writing- he is seeing his educational therapist once a week for inference/comprehension, and hopefully that will help.I also signed him up for the Aloha Reading/Writing program once per week. I'm hoping they can get through to him there, and he works with others much better than he works with me. I had thought that Saxon Grammar and Writing would work for him, but no. He is hating it. I don't know what else I can do this him in this department? Any suggestions? 

 

Is there anything that you can think of that might possibly work for him? Preferably something he could and would do on his own. I just started him on Let's Go Learn http://www.letsgolearn.com/lglsite/EDGE_comprehension/parents/ after he took the DORA. He seems to like it so we will go with it. 

 

Those are the main things I would like to focus on this summer. I was just hoping to get some more ideas of ways I could help him be prepared for going back to school so he feels confident and not ashamed (he has very low self esteem, and I really want to make him realize he is an awesome kid and he should feel good about himself..)

 

If you have made it so far, THANK YOU. ANY ideas would be greatly appreciated. I also have him signed up for some summer camps this summer, and maybe it will give us a good enough break from each other to refresh and recharge. Right now I feel like I am failing him with homeschooling and he would be better off in school. :(

[Arcadia]

I'll ask the charter school how they do Science in 6th grade. You might need to do a simple review on note taking for experiments. There might be more teamwork and group work for classes.

6th grade expectations are a lot higher than 5th grade for written output here as 6th grade is start of middle school. I'll find out what the expectations of the charter school are so that accommodation request can be put in once your child gets accepted.

[jnaj]

Good idea on the science. I am new to homeschooling, and honestly thought it would have worked out longer for us. I am just going crazy and really think I will be a better mom to him (and just a better person in general!) if he is in school. I am so tired of being so extremely stressed and sad all the time (I was NOT like this before this year, and I know this has a lot to do with it.) Now working with him on whatever he needs help with after school sounds like a DREAM compared to working on EVERYTHING with him at home.

 

Any suggestions on something I could use or do with him to get him up to speed on science note taking/processes? The main science he did this year as with his enrichment program, and they did not do the typical science that would be done in a regular school. It was very hands on and experience, but I don't believe they had to take notes or anything of that nature. We just didn't have time to do the science I planned out at home because we had to deal with all the other stuff + the stress and drama of it all. He is definitely lacking in the being able to take notes department, but also he has issues with figuring out the important things the take notes on (the whole comprehension thing) so I'm not sure how to help him.

[jnaj]

I will find out about the expectations of the charter school thought once he is accepted.

[Arcadia]

The main science he did this year as with his enrichment program, and they did not do the typical science that would be done in a regular school. It was very hands on and experience, but I don't believe they had to take notes or anything of that nature.

As long as your child is used to working as a pair or group and writing down results or observations he would be okay.

Public schools have textbooks for middle school science. There is no rush to get him to be good at note taking. Common publishers are CPO, Holt, Glencoe and Prentice Hall.

Not taking good notes slowed my older down when he was doing homework for 6th grade earth science. But not to the extent it was detrimental.

[jnaj]

Thanks. Yea, he is not good at taking notes... :/

[OneStepAtATime]

I agree with getting an evaluation.  Glad you are already in that process.  He may have issues going on that are not readily apparent but are making learning challenging for him and affecting his attitude and ability to work with you.  If so, those issues will still be there in his charter school so having answers ahead of time may help you to help him adjust and give the school more concrete ways to help him.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[idnib]

May I make a suggestion that's a little out of the box?

 

If you are able to, spend a good deal of the summer reading to him. It will help build your bond with him and you can enjoy time together talking and just enjoying stories. At the same time, unbeknownst to him, you can be building his vocabulary and comprehension skills. Maybe pick some stories with some heroes he might be able to look up to.

 

I agree with the above suggestions as well and I'm not negating them, just thinking of something you can add that can develop bonds and character while sneaking in some learning. If reading to him is too much, consider a book club at his level and/or audiobooks.

[jnaj]

Thanks. Yes, he went to the first portion of his evaluation today. I'm hoping after the next one next week we will have *some* answers.  I have so many mixed emotions about everything right now, and I really don't like being the parent who just wants to NOT be around their kid. I love my kids, but he is just wearing me down. I feel like I could be a better parent to him if we WEREN'T around each other all day everyday. The idea of homework and helping him deal with school issues sounds like a dream compared to actually homeschooling him. Because at least I would get a mental break if that makes sense. 

 

I will try reading aloud to him, that is a good idea. He reads all the time to himself, and he has the capability of reading at a high level, but with the comprehension issues he doesn't understand it at a high level. He doesn't usually focus enough for read alouds though and always ends up just getting mad about something :/ He always interrupts read a loud time with his siblings also and doesn't let me read a single page without interrupting (even if he is in another room he comes in there, interrupts, gets mad, and the cycle just continues.) 

 

I guess I'm just feeling kind of defeated right now. I am mentally and physically exhausted. I feel like I have tried my best and am just completely failing him. I hate that we just can't stand being around each other anymore.

[Ravin]

Do you have a fall back plan in place of he doesn't get in to the charter school?

[jnaj]

Kind of- there is a homeschool program he could go to 2 days per week and take his core classes + extras there, and do the rest at home during the week. That could possibly work, and that's actually what he wants to do. I just really really need help teaching him. I wouldn't mind doing that if he could behave in a decent manner one the days that he is home and it not be a constant negativity around all the time..technically he could go a third day at the same place he went to this year also. He would be able to pretty much get in all the classes he would need between the two programs, and the work he would do with me would be more like homework..so that wouldn't be so bad..

 

I know it sounds like I just want to get rid of him, and that's not entirely true. He is always constantly going, going, going (both mentally and physically), and sometimes just being around him can be exhausting. He definitely needs lots of ways to let out his energy and one thing we do during the day if he is getting nasty is send him out to jump on the trampoline for a bit and then he comes in and can focus better (a tip from the therapist.) He always apologize for what he does and says and then just goes right back to doing it again. I REALLY think this evaluation will be so helpful, but he hasn't ALWAYS been like this..maybe it's a combination of something that has always been going on + adolescent hormones? I'm not sure.

 

I think that is the only way homeschooling will even be an option for us next year- if I can source out the core courses at the very least. He has always been well behaved in his programs and classes he has taken. He always tells me the teachers there can explain things to him better than I can (I have discussed it with them and they literally do it the same way I do, it's just better for him when it comes from someone else.)

[Ravin]

It sounds like some behavioral counseling/therapy might help, too. At his age it's one part giving you tools to figure out how to effectively parent him, and one part giving him tools to manage his own behavior.

[jnaj]

Yes, we just started the behavioral therapy/counseling. After his assessments/evaluations we are going to continue with therapy and try to get things under control, and hopefully we will both get good tools and tips from the therapist on things we can all do as a family. I know I need help with it, and I am really really hoping this helps us. 

[Pen]

I would focus on the reading comprehension only from now through summer as far as academics goes, since it will affect all other learning. And then otherwise focus on improving your relationship with him.

 

I'd also consider an online virtual school with him (especially if the charter does not come through) so that you can be more in the position of helper, but not in charge of his schooling. Some virtual academies also get waiting lists, so you might need to look into that early.

 

It is also an age when rude and disrespectful seems to come out.  We spent awhile on manners and behaviour as a subject to study and practice.