It's harsh telling colleges no

[Elisabet1]

Going back through and declining admission offers is hard. It sort of feels like closing doors..which it IS closing doors..but it has always been that one can only go through one of those doors. Always knew that all but one colleges will end up being turned down. It just feels a little "wrong" to go through and click decline now, after all this work. So far, it has been try try try to get in and get scholarships and so on. Now it is time to say no and go the other way.

 

Anyone else?

[dirty ethel rackham]

I know what you mean.  Ds has been procrastinating on telling no to one school that really is not the best fit for him and is just too far.  They have been sending him mail - inviting him to their honors program, offering to fly him out there.  I keep telling him that sooner is better than later.  We are realistically down to 3 schools.  Decisions need to be made soon.  Getting up my courage to appeal for more money.

[bettyandbob]

It doesn't necessarily close doors. One of neighbor had sent his decision (and deposit) to Va Tech in 2007, then, April 16 happened. My niece is the same age and her view of the events and campus community made her want to go to VT more, but for neighbor it freaked him out. Mid summer he told VT he wasn't coming. Then, he called admissions at two schools where he'd been accepted that were much closer to home. Both said he could come in January and it was OK to take courses at the cc (IOW he wouldn't have to apply for transfer after attending cc). Maybe it was a special circumstance, but I'm sure there are many applicants that back out mid summer for more mundane reasons and I bet many schools will work with such an applicant--as long as the applicant takes the initiative to figure out options. I have a feeling it wouldn't look too good if mom or dad started the communication/negotiation with schools on this type of issue. 

[Jenny in Florida]

Yes, my son is getting a bit irritated that he keeps receiving e-mails and paper mailings from schools he's definitely decided against attending. I keep reminding him that he could put an end to this source of irritation by simply telling those colleges that he is declining their offers. He nods and agrees and then doesn't do anything about it.

 

It does feel kind of wrong to say "no" after we worked so hard to get them to say "yes," though.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

You might point out that sending the decline might let the college take someone off their wait list. That other high school student might be breathlessly waiting for a yes nod from a school that is a great match - for him. Maybe that will make it easier to say thank you, but no. (I know it's hard. I had a similar response last week when I had to call a property manager and tell him that we were going to rent a different property. Could have been a great house, but there was one that was just better for us.)

[Nan in Mass]

I know.  It was really depressing, somehow.  When youngest turned down his oldest brother's school, it was the worse, but it was hard turning down the ones who had gone out of their way with extra scholarships and phone calls and offers of research and spots on athletic teams, too.  Ug.  I didn't want to think about anything having to do with college for the rest of the spring after that.  One-and-done is more stressful before the letter comes but much nicer afterwards.

 

Nan 

[creekland]

One-and-done is more stressful before the letter comes but much nicer afterwards.

 

Nan 

I'm enjoying one-and-done this time - at least - now that the $$ appears to be working out.  I was seriously wondering if we had made the right choice before that.

[Jenny in Florida]

My son got a call from one of the three remaining colleges this afternoon. It came in on my cell phone while I was driving and so went to voicemail. We both really liked the admissions person there, and I felt awful hearing his cheerful voice "just checking in" and knowing that the school, which was top of the list for a while, has dropped to a mild "maybe."

 

Now that my son had opted to try his chances on one waitlist, he likely won't be telling any of the remaining possibles no just yet. But, boy, will I be glad when he is finally out of limbo.