What was your biggest "back to school" lesson?

[Doran]

I'm feeling very much out of the loop with regard to public school. Being new at something is not a favorite for me. I'm contemplating how to adjust to the new schedule, in-school or take-along lunches, clothing choices, buses, peer conflict, homework, testing, on and on. Trying to be positive but wondering what might be our biggest adjustments and how to best manage. What wisdom have you to offer?

 

TIA,

[Vida Winter]

When my dd went back to PS for 6th grade (after hs K-5) she was so nervous. Starting back at the first of the year while everyone was new was a big plus. In the beginning, I'd make sure the kids get enough rest. The schedule may not be academically rigorous, but it is exhausting.

 

Other than that, just talk to them a lot. About teachers, what happened, what assignments are due that week, tests. I try to stay in the loop as much as possible although my dd is very good about completing things on time.

 

Another thing that helps is to get a big calendar for the fridge and write in all the school holidays and events as soon as you can. It helps so much when making dentist appts, planning trips, etc.

 

You'll be able to take cues from your children as they progress. One thing we need to be careful of is to not let our dd overextend herself with activities. She's got to show us that she can keep her grades up in order to play team sports.

 

Hugs to you,

:grouphug:

Dana

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

Doran, I was going to say "go to the bathroom *before* waiting in the long, tetherball line. I was in first grade and loved tetherball. However, the rest of the children on the entire playground used to love it as well, thus the line was at least a mile long. Anyway, I was alllllmost to the front of the line. The clock was ticking. Recess was about to end. My heart was beating...thump-thump and I had to go pee really badly! I was *not* going to lose my place in the line.

 

So, I peed my denim, big-bell bottomed jeans! LOL!

 

I vividly remember going into the nurses office to get a dry pair of pants (they had a reserve! LOL). To avoid embarrassment, I told her that I fell into a mud puddle.

 

That excuse didn't work for two reasons: 1) It was as dry as the Sahara that day on the playground and 2) They smelled like urine. LOL!

 

I just crack up when I think about that. What was my deal?

 

Kids do the funniest things :o).

 

I pray this will all transition nicely for you. I'm sure it will.

 

Blessings,

Camy

[Doran]

Doran, I was going to say "go to the bathroom *before* waiting in the long, tetherball line. I was in first grade and loved tetherball. However, the rest of the children on the entire playground used to love it as well, thus the line was at least a mile long. Anyway, I was alllllmost to the front of the line. The clock was ticking. Recess was about to end. My heart was beating...thump-thump and I had to go pee really badly! I was *not* going to lose my place in the line.

 

So, I peed my denim, big-bell bottomed jeans! LOL!

 

I vividly remember going into the nurses office to get a dry pair of pants (they had a reserve! LOL). To avoid embarrassment, I told her that I fell into a mud puddle.

 

That excuse didn't work for two reasons: 1) It was as dry as the Sahara that day on the playground and 2) They smelled like urine. LOL!

 

I just crack up when I think about that. What was my deal?

 

Kids do the funniest things :o).

 

I pray this will all transition nicely for you. I'm sure it will.

 

Blessings,

Camy

 

 

What a cute story. I can just see you waiting there in line, legs crossed! And, oh how hard to have to deal with the consequence of your decision to try and wait. :blushing:

 

I guess I could have said something more along the lines of "when your children went back to school"...but it was so wordy I took the shortcut and gained your tale! :D

 

Thanks for the prayers.

[Doran]

In the beginning, I'd make sure the kids get enough rest. The schedule may not be academically rigorous, but it is exhausting.

 

This week, I'm getting everyone up early (progressively earlier, actually) and to bed early in a trial run for our school schedule. I swear that may be one of the hardest parts for us! But, good to remember that we may have to be cautious about extra activities along with plain old sleep.

 

 

Other than that, just talk to them a lot. About teachers, what happened, what assignments are due that week, tests. I try to stay in the loop as much as possible although my dd is very good about completing things on time.

 

Yes. I'm planning to extract as much information as I can out of them, in a pleasant way, of course. None of this, "What did you do today?"...."Oh, not much" for us! At least, I hope not. :001_smile:

 

 

Another thing that helps is to get a big calendar for the fridge and write in all the school holidays and events as soon as you can. It helps so much when making dentist appts, planning trips, etc.

 

On the list of supplies to purchase this week!

 

 

 

 

Thanks so much!!

[LisaNY]

Doran, you really have to plan to take things as they come during the first few weeks. All I can say is, be prepared for some major changes and adjustments at first as you all acclimate to this new journey.

 

When our dd went to ps in 10th gr. two years ago, the first 2-3 weeks were a whirlwind. If it is at all possible for *you*, try to clear out your schedule for that preliminary adjustment time.

 

The hardest part was getting up at 6:00 every morning. I *know* it was difficult for my dd, as she was used to getting up at 7:30 or 8:00. The school is only 5 minutes away, so we drive her in the morning, and she takes the bus home in the afternoon. It gives her a little extra time in the a.m. (I cried all the way home the first day I dropped her off at school. :crying:)

 

My dd really does not eat much in school. I went from full sandwiches to 1/2 PB sandwiches. She didn't want Tuna, or anything that "smelled". LOL

She waits until she gets home to eat "lunch" at around 3:00. She did lose a fair amount of weight in the beginning, as she was literally running to her classes, the school is so big. Being new kids on the block, the 10th gr. students have their classes spread out all over the building.

 

Our dd looked like the deer in the headlights at first, she could scarcely take it all in. It was quite the grind with early risings, adjusting to a BIG school, lots of homework, working in a classroom setting, etc. She broke down and cried around the middle of the third week of school. The poor thing was so overwhelmed with it all. But, after that, things began to settle into a routine, and my dd started having fun with this new experience. By mid-year, she was SO happy being in school. It was a great experience for her, and she really did MUCH better than we anticipated. :001_smile:

[Alice]

I started at a new school for high school and the thing that most petrified me was the question of who I would eat with at lunch. I was so scared that I would be the loner new kid eating alone while everyone laughed at me. I'm very introverted so my Mom's advice to just "be friendly and you'll make friends" was not particularly helpful.

 

I forced myself to talk to a girl in my 1st period class who was outgoing. Then we compared schedules and I noticed she had the same lunch period as me. So I immediately said something about "maybe I could eat with you if I see you." She said sure, fine. So I went over and found her table at lunch. She didn't really introduce me to the others or anything but it was ok and got me through that first day.

 

Much much much later one of the girls who I sat with that day told me she thought I was really weird for just coming over and sitting with them. But the reason she told me that was that by that point she had become my best friend. We stayed friends through high school and beyond...her daughter was in my wedding and we still stay in touch.

 

Anyway...the point of that rambling story was that what I learned from that was two things...first was that even though it was really difficult for me I could step out and meet people. Second was that first impressions aren't everything. Even though my friend thought I was weird initially, it enabled us to meet. And then she got to know me and the weirdness became a funny story.

[Doran]

Doran, you really have to plan to take things as they come during the first few weeks. All I can say is, be prepared for some major changes and adjustments at first as you all acclimate to this new journey.

 

When our dd went to ps in 10th gr. two years ago, the first 2-3 weeks were a whirlwind. If it is at all possible for *you*, try to clear out your schedule for that preliminary adjustment time.

 

The hardest part was getting up at 6:00 every morning. I *know* it was difficult for my dd, as she was used to getting up at 7:30 or 8:00. The school is only 5 minutes away, so we drive her in the morning, and she takes the bus home in the afternoon. It gives her a little extra time in the a.m. (I cried all the way home the first day I dropped her off at school. :crying:)

 

My dd really does not eat much in school. I went from full sandwiches to 1/2 PB sandwiches. She didn't want Tuna, or anything that "smelled". LOL

She waits until she gets home to eat "lunch" at around 3:00. She did lose a fair amount of weight in the beginning, as she was literally running to her classes, the school is so big. Being new kids on the block, the 10th gr. students have their classes spread out all over the building.

 

Our dd looked like the deer in the headlights at first, she could scarcely take it all in. It was quite the grind with early risings, adjusting to a BIG school, lots of homework, working in a classroom setting, etc. She broke down and cried around the middle of the third week of school. The poor thing was so overwhelmed with it all. But, after that, things began to settle into a routine, and my dd started having fun with this new experience. By mid-year, she was SO happy being in school. It was a great experience for her, and she really did MUCH better than we anticipated. :001_smile:

 

 

...but, you've touched on so many of the "little things" here than I'm finding myself stressed over.

 

1. What the kids will eat (you know how important good food is for us), and when. The youngest has always been such a grazer. She literally complains of stomach aches when she tries to eat too early in the morning. And, no snacks?! I simply can't see her getting through day in and day out without snacks. Isn't that a ridiculous thing to be worried about? But, that doesn't make it any less real for me, so I'm glad you brought it up.

 

2. Early mornings. We are just not wired this way, and as I mentioned earlier, I think it's going to be one of the hardest parts about the whole transition. All through my own schooling, college, and working life up until I married at 28, I was very solid with getting up. Rarely missed a class in college, never skipped work, very dedicated. But, after children, and as I took on the farming job, I became very accustomed to being able to control my own schedule as needed. And, because we tended towards being night owls, I often let the girls sleep in. We plan to get up at 6:30, and it's gonna hurt. But, I'm just having to trust that we'll adjust to that like everything else.

 

3. Being overwhelmed. The classroom setting. The homework. The grind of a daily schedule with no room for flexibility. Phew! I appreciate your realistic view that it will likely be difficult, especially at first, but also that we will hopefully settle into a routine and gain a comfort level that tends toward feeling good about it all.

[BabyBre]

(I cried all the way home the first day I dropped her off at school. :crying:)

 

 

Lol! Me too! I had expected that, but what I hadn't expected was to cry on the way home on the last day of school, too! I think the whole experience really took more of a toll on me (not so much on them) than I realized! (Last year was our first year in ps and it was not what I wanted.)

 

I agree, take it one day, event, or incident at a time with the lines of communication open always. Also try to volunteer in your dc's classrooms. You can gather some great information that way - more than you'd realize, and maybe even more than you'd want to know! ;)

 

We also start "trying out" our routine about 2 weeks early so the kids can get used to getting up early again and I can see if my proposed schedule for their afterschooling is actually feasible (we do our schoolwork before school for about 1 to 1.5 hours a day). When my oldest was much younger, he attended full-time ps in his earliest years and he would come home after 6 hours of mental and physical stimulation and collapse into a nap until I woke him at dinner time. This went on for the first week or two of school and is where I learned that a pre-school warm up time would be beneficial!

[readwithem]

My dd went to school in 2nd grade but she's been back home since then. I think for us the biggest adjustments were the early mornings as others have suggested - she began (at 7!) to wake before 6am to have some play time before heading off to school. Also not having "all day" together, but having to process everything in that "happy hour" time of 4-7pm was really frustrating. You'll adjust though :) just be ready with open ears and be ready to focus on them during that time (while they have a healthy snack :)

 

ETA I cried all the way home that first day as well. A friend whose kids (then 9th and 11th grades) had always been in public school cried as well when we met for lunch later that day. We were all living in Australia and everything was new - but it was comforting to *me* that she had the same feelings as I did, even with her older children who had always been in public school.

[Doran]

Lol! Me too! I had expected that, but what I hadn't expected was to cry on the way home on the last day of school, too! I think the whole experience really took more of a toll on me (not so much on them) than I realized! (Last year was our first year in ps and it was not what I wanted.)

 

 

I'm not afraid to hear more specifically about which part of the experience was *not* what you wanted. :)

 

 

 

We also start "trying out" our routine about 2 weeks early so the kids can get used to getting up early again and I can see if my proposed schedule for their afterschooling is actually feasible (we do our schoolwork before school for about 1 to 1.5 hours a day).

 

 

:confused: Before they go back, you have them start getting up early, and they work on their "afterschool" stuff for 1-1.5 hours in the mornings (or just during the day) to see how long it takes and whether you're asking for a reasonable amount of work. Is that it? I was thinking about doing some "warm up the brain" stuff this week with the girls. Of course, when I mentioned it, they both balked! :lol:

 

Honestly, I'm impressed with anyone who can add additional work to their kids' public/private school schedules. Of course, I have nothing by which to compare, but I have the sense that they'll be full up with what is required by the school without additional work at home, much as I might feel anything I could give them would be more valuable. No need to explain all that just now -- I'll come here more often to learn how it works as I see a need -- but do know that I'm impressed!

[LisaNY]

...but, you've touched on so many of the "little things" here than I'm finding myself stressed over.

 

1. What the kids will eat (you know how important good food is for us), and when. The youngest has always been such a grazer. She literally complains of stomach aches when she tries to eat too early in the morning. And, no snacks?! I simply can't see her getting through day in and day out without snacks. Isn't that a ridiculous thing to be worried about? But, that doesn't make it any less real for me, so I'm glad you brought it up.

 

2. Early mornings. We are just not wired this way, and as I mentioned earlier, I think it's going to be one of the hardest parts about the whole transition. All through my own schooling, college, and working life up until I married at 28, I was very solid with getting up. Rarely missed a class in college, never skipped work, very dedicated. But, after children, and as I took on the farming job, I became very accustomed to being able to control my own schedule as needed. And, because we tended towards being night owls, I often let the girls sleep in. We plan to get up at 6:30, and it's gonna hurt. But, I'm just having to trust that we'll adjust to that like everything else.

 

3. Being overwhelmed. The classroom setting. The homework. The grind of a daily schedule with no room for flexibility. Phew! I appreciate your realistic view that it will likely be difficult, especially at first, but also that we will hopefully settle into a routine and gain a comfort level that tends toward feeling good about it all.

 

(((Doran))) I'm glad to be of some encouragement to you. :001_smile:

 

Yep! I dreaded having to get up that early. It has actually turned out to be a great thing for me. I *like* getting up early now - really! I get SO much more done in the morning. Granted, by 10:00, I'm wiped, but I have to say I would rather get up early than late now. It was a BIG adjustment for me, but now I am pretty happy with it. I really feel like I have a good head start with my day when I am up early. Now, on Sundays, I sleep until around 7:00, and sometimes 7:30, but I really don't want to sleep any later than that.

 

And, no, my dd did not end up malnourished, as I thought she might be. :001_smile:

[Melinda in VT]

Doran, are you sure there isn't time for a snack at school? Our elementary school encourages the kids to pack a snack all at all grade levels, and if I'm remembering right from the parent orientation last spring, the middle school gives the kids time to eat a snack during the day as well.

 

You might also be surprised by the school food. Our elementary school lunches are amazing (lots of local, organic vegetables and breads), and the new chef at the middle/high school is making some changes, including one localvore day a month.

 

My kids have been in public school more often than not, but it's always hard to see them walk away on the first day of school. I miss them, and I wish I could be a fly on the wall to see what they are up to during the day. The day seems to pass so slowly until I can pick them up. (And this is with an almost-full time job and a toddler to keep me busy!) I suggest making a plan for yourself--maybe something fun like meeting a friend for coffee and then something productive so you can feel good about working while they are in school.

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

Grin...I think no matter how you would have worded it, I still would have posted the same thing (smile). That "lesson" is still very clear in my mind! LOL!

 

Camy

[Doran]

Doran, are you sure there isn't time for a snack at school? Our elementary school encourages the kids to pack a snack all at all grade levels, and if I'm remembering right from the parent orientation last spring, the middle school gives the kids time to eat a snack during the day as well.

 

You might also be surprised by the school food. Our elementary school lunches are amazing (lots of local, organic vegetables and breads), and the new chef at the middle/high school is making some changes, including one localvore day a month.

 

My kids have been in public school more often than not, but it's always hard to see them walk away on the first day of school. I miss them, and I wish I could be a fly on the wall to see what they are up to during the day. The day seems to pass so slowly until I can pick them up. (And this is with an almost-full time job and a toddler to keep me busy!) I suggest making a plan for yourself--maybe something fun like meeting a friend for coffee and then something productive so you can feel good about working while they are in school.

 

 

 

Apparently, here in MD the only thing they've figured out how to feed is chickens! :glare: Our school lunches are abysmal. Actually, I've considered one, small, potential silver lining to our becoming involved in the public school system. I've thought for years that I'd love to find a way to change the school lunch programs here toward something more...um...edible...like what your school is doing! I figure it might be easier once I'm on the inside. ;)

 

I hope you're right about the snacks. We have a parent-teacher night on Friday, so I will hopefully be able to ask about that at that time.

 

And, yes, the plan is to work, work, work the hours away while they're in school. Now...to find the right job! :)

[Shay]

Doran,

 

In addition to having a large calendar at home, as someone else mentioned (actually mine is a white board I change up each month), I bought myself a student planner this year. I like having something portable to take with me when running errands (in case I need info while I'm out). Most of this is common sense, but it's taken me a while to figure out how much doing this helps LOL.

 

Here's what I put in mine (4 kids in 7th, 4th, 3rd, and K):

 

1. Lunch numbers (they all have a different one)

Lunch times for everyone (in case I want to drop in and eat with them)

 

2. PE days for all (they have to wear sneakers)

 

3. Phone #'s for the different school offices . These are programmed in my cell phone as well.

 

4. Email addresses for the teachers who provided one

 

5. On the calendar section, I highlighted (in diff. colors) days off, parent teacher conferences, etc.

 

The rest of the planner has your usual calendar/weekly pages for writing in stuff.

 

 

 

The problem I've had with school lunches is that my children hate the majority of them and so just pick at the food (they are not overly picky eaters). Then they come home famished and eat too much snack. I generally prepare a nice healthy supper and they'll be so full from snack that they will not eat much. I'm still working on figuring out how to deal with this problem. I may just have to pack their lunches with things I know they like (which can be more expensive than the school lunch).

 

I think you'll get quickly get used to getting up earlier. We have chores with the chickens, cows and pets that I make the kids take care of before school. Just getting out and doing those things kind of wakes them up a bit.

 

After school, my dc all tend to talk at once telling me about their day....so I have to make them takes turns. I fix them a snack and we sit at the table and just chat ( I often read aloud). Then, they are so ready to play or do other things that they run off happily, so glad to be "free".

 

I know some parents require their dc to do homework right when they get home, but I just can't imagine that. I encourage mine to do what they can on the bus ride home so that they'll have it off their backs (and mine). Fortunately (so far) they need little to no help from me with this. Otherwise we kind of do it as a last minute thing . They also try hard to not have homework (do it in class if possible).

 

Shay

[~FireFly~]

it's just listening to him everyday.

 

Didn't I tell you our second has decided it's time to enter public school? :O)

 

Well, he has and so far so good...not that I'm looking for something, but it's been 10 yrs since he's been in school and we're not thrilled with the idea. Having said that, I can say that in the last two (count them 2) days he's met more people that he already knows, etc....

 

Yesterday I was thinking, as he was spilling himself with words on the way to his job (I'll get to that later) about his new friends and so on, what did he do "in school" ???? I mean he was there 5 hours (early out- I'll explain later) and all he could talk about were the students. So, I listened and kept my mouth shut. Finally, he gets all of his first day off his chest and begins to tell me how he needs dividers and a watch and 50% of his grade in this class is so and so and so on because he wants to be more organized...ah...true...bliss....

 

Good luck with yours. I'll have to visit more often. BTW, our oldest is in college now, the middle is in PS, and the 9 yr old is still tagging with me to work for school.

 

Peace to you, Doran.

 

~Stephanie

[obiandelismom]

My two just went back (last week), though they are younger than yours (7 and 5). One thing has surprised me - EVERY night, one or the other (or both!) of them has had an enormous meltdown over something completely stupid. :001_huh: Like 3yo stupid - like 'you know this is not the color plate I like to use' stupid. Tears, stamping feet, slamming doors. My kids are both pretty dramatic anyway, but this kind of tantrum is completely out of character for them, and it's been hard for me to deal with the level of emotion in the house. Obviously, they are letting it all hang out after a day of keeping it all together, and I can totally understand that. But at the same time, this is not behavior that I am willing to just go along with! My older ds even realizes what's happening, and told me the other night, "All day long I have to be GOOD. I'm not good enough to be good for the whole day!" :lol: So we've had to work on ways to give them a release without having to go through the meltdown. It's hard, though, and I think if I had realized ahead of time that this would happen, I would have handled it better in the beginning.

 

One other thing I would advise is to watch your own reactions to what the kids tell you. This was hard for me - I really believe in hsing, and while I don't think ps is necessarily harmful, I think it's got a lot of pointless dumb stuff wrapped up in the good stuff. When my kids start telling me about some of the dumb stuff (a convoluted reward system for doing something that they already like to do, for instance), I have to really bite my tongue. But I feel like it's important that I support the school's authority, even if I (personally) don't support its methods. I do say things like, "Well, it sure will be fun to win a sticker for finishing the book - reading is something you like to do anyway! And now you'll get a sticker TOO!" But I don't say, "Stickers?? For READING?? I'm going to put my Alfie Kohn books in your backpack, and I want you to take them to your teacher tomorrow morning, and tell her that I will give her TEN stickers if she will read them all!" :glare: It's tough.

 

Good luck - all in all it's gone much better than I thought it would!

[Doran]

Doran,

 

In addition to having a large calendar at home, as someone else mentioned (actually mine is a white board I change up each month), I bought myself a student planner this year. I like having something portable to take with me when running errands ...

Shay

 

 

 

Thanks, Shay. Got my large calendar -- but I'll need to go to Staples for a student planner of some sort. My life has been SO home centered for so many years that I think this is a very wise suggestion for me.

 

 

 

it's just listening to him everyday.

 

Didn't I tell you our second has decided it's time to enter public school? :O)

 

Well, he has and so far so good...not that I'm looking for something, but it's been 10 yrs since he's been in school and we're not thrilled with the idea. ...

 

Peace to you, Doran.

 

~Stephanie

 

 

And, peace back to you, Stephanie. No, I had no idea your second was in school now. I'm glad to know it's going well. Please do check in as often as you can. I'd love to hear your perspective on this transition.

 

So we've had to work on ways to give them a release without having to go through the meltdown. It's hard, though, and I think if I had realized ahead of time that this would happen, I would have handled it better in the beginning.

 

One other thing I would advise is to watch your own reactions to what the kids tell you. This was hard for me - I really believe in hsing, and while I don't think ps is necessarily harmful, I think it's got a lot of pointless dumb stuff wrapped up in the good stuff. ...I feel like it's important that I support the school's authority, even if I (personally) don't support its methods.

 

 

 

Older or not, I was lying awake last night wondering how on earth my 11 year old is going to manage sitting for that many hours a day and not drive us entirely batty when she gets home. We'll have hormonal tantrums! :D The reminder to watch my own reactions is spot on. I can totally see myself making too many comments on how little I think of some of what the public schools do. Blah. Thanks for this tip -- very much!

[Tabrett]

When our dd went to ps in 10th gr. two years ago, the first 2-3 weeks were a whirlwind. If it is at all possible for *you*, try to clear out your schedule for that preliminary adjustment time.

 

The hardest part was getting up at 6:00 every morning. I *know* it was difficult for my dd, as she was used to getting up at 7:30 or 8:00. The school is only 5 minutes away, so we drive her in the morning, and she takes the bus home in the afternoon. It gives her a little extra time in the a.m. (I cried all the way home the first day I dropped her off at school. :crying:)

 

My dd really does not eat much in school. I went from full sandwiches to 1/2 PB sandwiches. She didn't want Tuna, or anything that "smelled". LOL

She waits until she gets home to eat "lunch" at around 3:00. She did lose a fair amount of weight in the beginning, as she was literally running to her classes, the school is so big. Being new kids on the block, the 10th gr. students have their classes spread out all over the building.

 

Our dd looked like the deer in the headlights at first, she could scarcely take it all in. It was quite the grind with early risings, adjusting to a BIG school, lots of homework, working in a classroom setting, etc. She broke down and cried around the middle of the third week of school. The poor thing was so overwhelmed with it all. But, after that, things began to settle into a routine, and my dd started having fun with this new experience. By mid-year, she was SO happy being in school. It was a great experience for her, and she really did MUCH better than we anticipated. :001_smile:

My dd started 9th grade at ps this week and I think your dc's experience is just like my dc. My dd is so tired. When we hs'ed she got up at 9am.

She has been able to eat lunch 1 time this week because she has been standing in line trying to get books and lockers or the schedules were messed up and by the time she got through the line, lunch was over.

The homework is unreal. Why, why, why. My dd is not behind in anyway and we never did that amount of written work!!!! Busy work, just busy work, that is really unnecessary.

Today completes her first week. I had planned on having her do a Bible course at home, but with all the homework I don't think she will have enough time to complete the assignments for me.

 

This is what she wanted. I wonder if she will want keep going to ps in several weeks. If she want to come home, I will let her.