If you had to choose just one of your children to send to school...

[katalaska]

This is something that could actually become an issue in our house.

This year we will have a 6th grader, a 3rd grader, and a 1st grader.

 

The 6th grader is slightly advanced academically. She's eager to learn and easy to teach--really, every teacher's dream.

 

The 3rd grader has learning difficulties (at one point we were told she had high-functioning autism). She is in therapy for language processing disorder and feeding issues. She is on grade level or a little behind, very distractible, and every teacher's nightmare (from an attention and behavior perspective).

 

The 1st grader is also slightly advanced academically. He's eager to learn and easy to teach. However, he has mild low muscle tone, vision issues, and speech difficulties. He's also in therapy and/or receiving treatment for his problems.

 

None of the kids get along easily with other kids; they tend to be rejected for various reasons. The oldest has trouble because she's serious, quiet, a little bit shy, and tall for her age (people always think she's older than she is). The middle has trouble because she's 1-2 years delayed in processing language, which impacts her ability to play with her age-mates. She also has some "odd" behaviors which are off-putting. The youngest has difficulty because of the speech and motor problems.

 

From an academic point of view, the oldest would make the most sense to put in school...she's independent and ahead school subject-wise.

 

Having the middle in school would relieve some of the pressure on me during the day (teaching her requires modifications in nearly every area).

 

Having the youngest in school could be considered the "least-damaging," possibly, because he would be "no trouble" and could keep up.

 

Having the oldest in school would allow me to concentrate on integrating therapeutic practices into the younger kids' school days. Also, since the 3rd grader is a little behind and the 1st grader is a little ahead, they are easily grouped together for some things (which frees up time for therapies). But I've heard horror stories about the middle-school age (and I HATED middle school and junior high) so perhaps it would be "safer" to send the youngest...

 

**sigh**

 

I'm just trying to figure out how to "do it all" when "all" includes so much more than the usual academics. We've got "therapy meals" to address feeding issues, speech therapy and language therapy, and a wide gap between what the littles should be doing in school and what my oldest NEEDS. What we did last year (trying to group everyone together for things like history) was a dismal failure. The little kids got what THEY needed but my oldest really missed out.

 

Anyone care to comment or ask me some clarifying questions? :confused: I wanted to start school this week but we are still recovering from our vacation and I have done NO planning. :eek:

[Carol in Cal.]

When I read your description, the thought that came to mind was that if your 3rd grader was given an IEP, she might qualify for special help that is hard to deliver at home. I wonder whether she would go into a special class, with coaching and a lot of individual attention? I think that a class like that might help her a great deal with her social issues, and with her speech and unusual behavior.

 

Whatever you decide, just remember to take it year by year. You don't have to decide this minute to homeschool them all through high school, and you don't have to decide this minute to send one of them to school from now on.

 

I do think that a lot of middle schools would be very tough on a child who tends to be quiet and smart. I would be extremely reluctant to send the oldest this year, unless she badly wants to go--and probably even then.

[Laurie]

I think that's the one I'd send as long as the school could meet the special needs involved.

 

I think that's what I'd do...send the one who would be the least resistant about going. I think it would be too hard to single out one child to send to school if he/she didn't want to go.

 

Neither of my dc has any interest in going to school, but they frequently recommend that I send the OTHER one to school. I tell them, "If he/she goes, you're going, too!"

 

Just thought about this: How about putting all 3 in school and then decide which, if any, to bring back home? Right now, I have to admit that this sounds pretty good to me!!!

[8filltheheart]

When I read your description, the thought that came to mind was that if your 3rd grader was given an IEP, she might qualify for special help that is hard to deliver at home. I wonder whether she would go into a special class, with coaching and a lot of individual attention? I think that a class like that might help her a great deal with her social issues, and with her speech and unusual behavior.

 

Whatever you decide, just remember to take it year by year. You don't have to decide this minute to homeschool them all through high school, and you don't have to decide this minute to send one of them to school from now on.

 

 

 

That was my reaction as well. Do you outside assessments for your special needs kids? I would probably take what paperwork I had and go to the central office of the school district (not the local school itself) and find out what resources they have to offer for each of the kids individually. Then I would make the decision based on when it all pans out, what benefits both the individual and the family.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

I think that middle school is not an easy time to put kids in school.

 

Is the school capable of giving your 3rd grader what she needs? Structure, extra help, etc?

 

Good luck with your decision making.

[newlifemom]

I have a rising 6th grader who is a pretty compliant student, a 7yo with major behavioral and other special needs and a toddler. If I had to choose I would put the middle on in school. Primarily because she is the most disruptive and the "issues" would mean she would have an IEP and hopefully not get lost in the system.

 

I just don't think Jr. High is a good time to enter school.

 

As an alternative can you set up your 6th grader's work to be pretty independent and make sure you check in with her during the younger kid's quiet time each day? Far from perfect but it keeps everyone home.

:iagree: There is plenty of great stuff out there for more independent learning. Cheap to expensive. You could moderate it and help when necessary.

[Mrs Mungo]

I completely understand where you are coming from. I have a very advanced eldest and a bright but very ADD middle. It can be very tough and I have often considered putting one or the other of them in school to make things easier for me. I don't know what the solution is.

 

For the coming year I switched middle dd's curricula up a lot, I'm hoping that will help. I'm thinking about doing SOS for her next year as I think with the videos and everything it might help keep her engaged. I don't know.