If you have a lot of small kids...

[mamamindy]

um, maybe more than 3? Do you find that things like chore charts (with laminated cards, prizes, etc.) and workboxes, things like that, to be worth your time & effort? I have started stuff like this and it has fizzled in less time than it took me to organize. Yep, it could be me and my lack of follow thru.... But I really want to be more organized, and I am motivated by a child of mine that really needs some clear expectations and visuals. Everyone else has been fine with just the verbal instructions and demonstrations, but this child (and I!) are really struggling to make progress. And I have a couple more coming along that will join in on chores and "school", and just our way of life.... Just wondering if I ought to pave some roads now, and wondering aloud if this is the way for us while my kids are many and small. Thanks for your suggestions!!

[merry gardens]

We have a chore chart posted, but it's really more for my the kids ages 9-14 and for contribution to general household chores. It's a way to organize those chores so they are distributed somewhat evenly. At age six or seven, maybe it would work. I've never been a fan of prizes for chores, unless you count snacks and meals and a (somewhat) clean house as prizes. Follow through is necessary, so anything that works for you to help you with follow through is good. But a chart for prizes probably wouldn't help me. Having to monitor a chart to give out prizes for things I expect my children to do isn't my idea of simplifying life. Good habits simplify things. To help develop good habits, I've posted a white board with both words and simple drawing in the kids' bathroom to remind them of what they need to have done before coming downstairs for breakfast. (Bed made, clean clothes, teeth brushed, etc.) Edit: I also use a large white board in our homeschool classroom and post our "to do" list daily in one corner of it, using colorful markers. That's separate from our chore chart, which is also separate from our hygiene/get-ready-for-the-day chart. LOL, I just realized that I use white boards all over the house to create what some people might call chore charts!

[sillymommy]

I have 4 kids ages 2-10, so try aren't all little. I started using Chore Packs as described by Managers of Their Chores. A quick search will lead you to the author's website. I've also seen the book if amazon, Craigslist, etc.

 

It's basically a to-do list with each item on a card; all the card are places in a plastic name badge with a clip. Dc looks at each card to see what to do, then puts the completed card on my dresser. When dc has completed all the cards, she knows she has finished her chores. It's working really well for us! Even our 2 yr old likes looking at her chore cards to see what's next-her cards have pictures.

 

We use this system for morning & bedtime routines & afternoon chores. One of the best tips in the book is to implement the system slowing. We started with just morning routine "chores" like brush teeth, comb hair. After a week, I introduced the bedtime "chores." Everybody got the hang of these quickly. Later I introduced afternoon chores-dusting, sweeping, etc. it's not perfect, but so much better than where we were! The level of independence has jumped substantially! That's exactly what this mamma needs-kids who are independent. :)

[Jane Elliot]

I don't have a lot of small kids now, but I did once. To give you an idea: Our 7th child was born when our oldest was 7yo.

 

I didn't use chore charts because everyone had permanent jobs. For example, when one son was 6 yo, I spent a month teaching him everyday how to clean a bathroom. Then, he cleaned our bathrooms everyday until he graduated, and right before he graduated he taught a younger brother how to do it.

 

This past weekend a friend and neighbor died suddenly (at 44yo, so sad!) Most of my older kids are visiting or home from college right now, so they came over to the neighbor's house to help. It was interesting to watch them gravitate to the chores they had grown up with. Oldest dd, whose regular chore had been the kitchen, cleaned the kitchen, while my son (above) went upstairs with his wife and cleaned the bathroom.

 

The other thing I found most helpful was routine. Children who know and are accustomed to the routine don't spend all their time everyday debating with you over what they will do next. Managers of Their Homes helped me streamline a routine, but long before I read that book I had a simple routine written in pencil and taped to the fridge. It doesn't have to be complicated.

 

I never got into elaborate charts/workboxes/prizes. Simple seemed more effective. I do use weekly assignment sheets for schoolwork though, beginning around 3rd grade. And when we're not able to be on a regular routine (as now while older kids and grandchildren are here) I give my little people simple checklists to help them focus.

[SilverMoon]

They were all a flop for us. We've found well defined expectations work best. Emptying the dishwasher is 9yo DS's job. The hamper dumping is 5yo DD's job. Period. Tasks that aren't assigned to a specific kid are assigned on an as needed basis, and I try to rotate through the kids. (Squawking that you did it last time just makes sure you get to do it a few more times in a row.)

 

They don't keep those same jobs for years on end. As a DC grows into the easier tasks the one who had it moves onto something else, and sometimes they're rearranged just to prevent monotony.

[I.Dup.]

I have had a similar experience with elaborately done workboxes and such. Although when I started requiring daily chores, a chore chart did help for the first couple of months until they were used to what they need to do each day. They keep their same chores for the foreseeable future, just to make things more simple and easy to keep track of. As they grow and change, I will switch things around, but I don't see any reason to do so on a regular basis. So now they don't even require a chore chart.

 

I'm still trying to figure out the best way to organize school, esp. with the preschoolers. That is a neverending battle. I'm always up for ideas.

[garddwr]

I'm still trying to figure this out myself. We have used a variety of charts and routines. Having a basic routine really does help, and if you have a child responsible enough to follow a chart without constant reminders those are nice. If everything requires reminders from Mom I find it impossible to keep up.

[prairiewindmomma]

Oldest needed a firm schedule flow to the day....so I made one, which we posted on the fridge and on his school desk.

 

When my first four were the ages of your four, the keys to my success were:

*starting laundry as soon as breakfast was done

*planning supper by lunchtime (ideally using a weekly meal plan)

*having pick up time before lunch and before supper

*having one errand day a week

*having schoolwork planned out a month in advance

 

Chore charts and workboxes have been fantastic wastes of my time and energy here. I can start any system....but sustaining it is another ball of wax.

[mamamindy]

Wow, this is all immensely helpful. And encouraging! I really am doing most of these things, so I am happy to know that we're on the right track. And I should stop thinking that somehow things will ever be "easy" with small children in the house. :lol:

 

I've never been a fan of prizes for chores, unless you count snacks and meals and a (somewhat) clean house as prizes.

Really this is where we are. I want (and need) my children to pitch in because they live here, not for a treat. For the most part, we're mutually successful and happy helping out and living life together. That said, I do have one (don't we all!) who is a constant challenge. And we've tried every measure of discipline... It's just rough. I have to constantly remind her to do the simplest things. Over and over. Not meaning to complain. I'm just weary. Sometimes I fall into a trap of thinking that if chores, school work, etc, were more fun for her, she'd be motivated. (Hence, I dream about charts and workboxes.) I'm tired of cracking the whip, and I realize she's young...

 

Our 7th child was born when our oldest was 7yo.

Wow! I thought mine were close together! Amazing!

 

 

The other thing I found most helpful was routine. Children who know and are accustomed to the routine don't spend all their time everyday debating with you over what they will do next. Managers of Their Homes helped me streamline a routine, but long before I read that book I had a simple routine written in pencil and taped to the fridge. It doesn't have to be complicated.

This is encouraging. We really do have a nice routine going. I love routine, and my oldest absolutely requires it. I have been intimidated by that book, however. It seemed like I would be overwhelmed. Simple is working well for us. Thank you.

 

I'm still trying to figure out the best way to organize school, esp. with the preschoolers. That is a neverending battle. I'm always up for ideas.

Me too!

 

 

When my first four were the ages of your four, the keys to my success were:

*starting laundry as soon as breakfast was done

*planning supper by lunchtime (ideally using a weekly meal plan)

*having pick up time before lunch and before supper

*having one errand day a week

*having schoolwork planned out a month in advance

 

Chore charts and workboxes have been fantastic wastes of my time and energy here. I can start any system....but sustaining it is another ball of wax.

 

I have done these things (except for the schoolwork planned out)! :hurray: And I don't know what our house/day would look like otherwise. We've been at the "do the next thing" stage... and I am now ready to be more prepared, so they're not always waiting on me to be ready, or us just scrapping the day because it's too much effort.

 

Thank you, everyone. I am somewhat relieved to know that an elaborate system isn't required to have order in the home (for school work, whatever). As it's overwhelming me just thinking about setting up said system. :crying: We'll work on solidifying our routines and expectations, focusing on doing simple tasks well (and independently!) and I may not focus so much on the "school work" with my challenging child for a time (she's definitely not behind, and she's young) and focus on good habits instead. Thanks so much. :grouphug:

[Holly]

I do not have it all figured out, but we've done best when I just give them a job to do at that moment...or if they just help me with whatever job I'm doing. My DC need constant supervision or they will not do their work. We generally work together cleaning a room together, but each with their own jobs. For example, on will sweep, one will wipe down the table, and one will put dishes in the dishwasher.

 

Any systems we've tried, haven't worked...although I haven't been consistent with them either.

[mamamindy]

Wonderful idea, Holly. We've been doing the same thing with after meal cleanup (thanks to suggestions on this forum!) and it has been so nice to not feel like I'm the only one cleaning up! :hurray: I dream of a day when DH and I can just have the children clean up after a meal. :D

[DavidArchuletaFan]

I have tried multiple systems including Managers of their Chores, Managers of their Homes, Flylady and a myriad of homemade plans and charts.

All of these systems are based upon the same premise, which in most cases is probably also the same cause of the downfall of all of them - CONSISTENCY.

I'm sorry to say but it seems to me, there is no true replacement for consistency

Choose any system or ideology you want but at the end of the day, whether it is something you've paid for or just your regular family routine, you'll have the most success when your children know what to expect and what to do because they do it every day of their lives.

[fairfarmhand]

List on the marker board is the most helpful for us.

 

When they want to do something fun, I just point to the list. "When they're all checked off the answer is yes!"

[edeemarie]

I have a child in my house that sounds similar to the one you are describing! For him, consistency is the ONLY thing that works. The other kids and I were fine just following a routine, but he NEEDS structure and does best when he is told what he needs to do every minute of the day! So I spent a good amount of time creating a schedule based on MOTH (which I swore I would never do!) and it has really helped us all so much! They know what to expect and when it needs to be done. We are still working out the kinks, but it has been great. Even if I have to be out of the house or an otherwise occupied they know what they need to be doing.

 

As far as chores, that is built into the schedule. Every afternoon there is time set aside for the 3 oldest to do a "monthly chore" (a chore that only needs to be done once a month). These include things like washing windows in a certain room, dusting, wiping down doors, wiping down kitchen appliances, etc. There are enough chores for them to do one a day Monday through Friday and get them all done by the end of the month. I let them choose which chore they want to do and then it gets crossed off the list until the next month. This saves me a ton of time cleaning and frees us up to do other things on the weekends.

 

It is hard when your kids are young and you aren't sure that they can do certain chores, but they just may surprise you! I have been putting ds4's clothes away for him and this week I decided to let him try it on his own- he did a fantastic job! So don't underestimate what the little ones can do. I figure the work they do is better than what I can do since most days I don't have enough time to do it anyway!

[nwmama]

We have 4 littles right now, 6 and under, and even though charts and lists work for me and DH, we can't seem to stay on top of them with the kids.

 

I grew up with the idea of not linking prizes or allowance to chores but "you do it because you are part of the family". But DH and I have been talking it over for a while and we've decided that we do want to link prizes (for now) and allowances (later) to some of their work since once they are in a job, their paycheck and job security will most likely be linked to their work ethic.

 

The way this looks for us right now is that there are things that they are expected to do without "pay", like cleaning their dirty dishes off the table, personal hygiene, and feeding pets. Jobs that are bigger, like vacuuming, cleaning a room, or anything that should take more than 10 minutes, they get paid for. They even get paid for keeping their room clean, though I haven't actually had to pay for that yet ;) As they get older those things will change and they won't get paid for cleaning their room, it will be expected, but they'll get paid for mowing the lawn.

 

They also get to choose their pay. They get to pick between a small treat, a quarter, and 5 minutes of an iphone/computer game. Again, as they get older, these things will change.

 

The nice thing about this system so far (we've only been using it a few months) is that we have a lot less whining and complaining about their work so DH and I don't get as frustrated. The kids actually ask me if there are chores they can do to earn a prize. More of the housework is getting done and we've stuck to this system much longer than any other.

[mamamindy]

As far as chores, that is built into the schedule. Every afternoon there is time set aside for the 3 oldest to do a "monthly chore" (a chore that only needs to be done once a month). These include things like washing windows in a certain room, dusting, wiping down doors, wiping down kitchen appliances, etc. There are enough chores for them to do one a day Monday through Friday and get them all done by the end of the month. I let them choose which chore they want to do and then it gets crossed off the list until the next month. This saves me a ton of time cleaning and frees us up to do other things on the weekends.

You seem to be very organized! So, you're saying that you have around 60 chores for them to choose from for monthly? Does this take a lot of time for you to train?

 

It is hard when your kids are young and you aren't sure that they can do certain chores, but they just may surprise you! I have been putting ds4's clothes away for him and this week I decided to let him try it on his own- he did a fantastic job! So don't underestimate what the little ones can do. I figure the work they do is better than what I can do since most days I don't have enough time to do it anyway!

 

Yes! My 3yo DS is quite helpful! I have been encouraging him to do little things like make his bed, wipe his potty, take things to the hamper. It's so nice that at that age they want to help. ;)

[mamamindy]

I have tried multiple systems including Managers of their Chores, Managers of their Homes, Flylady and a myriad of homemade plans and charts.

All of these systems are based upon the same premise, which in most cases is probably also the same cause of the downfall of all of them - CONSISTENCY.

I'm sorry to say but it seems to me, there is no true replacement for consistency

Choose any system or ideology you want but at the end of the day, whether it is something you've paid for or just your regular family routine, you'll have the most success when your children know what to expect and what to do because they do it every day of their lives.

 

This is so true. Thank you for saying so.

 

My home is a much better place thanks to FLYlady. I have tried to adapt that for my kids. It helps me to focus on zones, and perhaps I could mesh zone chores with Erin's idea of monthly chores and that would work for us....

 

Thanks to FLYlady, we have morning and evening routines, and everyone takes care of their space (and we're adding responsibilities as they get more mature). I probably need to work on myself the most, just stop nagging and have a consequence so I'm not asking (a certain sweet child) all.day.long. to do the same darn things. Thank you for this reminder about consistency.

[edeemarie]

 

You seem to be very organized! So, you're saying that you have around 60 chores for them to choose from for monthly? Does this take a lot of time for you to train?

 

 

I have only recently become organized for the sake of my sanity! I reached a point where it felt like I never had a break and the kids had way too much free time (and that leads to chaos around here- hence year round schooling). I have 50 chores on the chart to give us some wiggle room just in case we have a few days where we are away from the house during chore time. The chores are each scheduled for 30 minutes. They are things I can get done by myself in about 15 minutes but I don't expect the kids to get things done as quickly as I do.

 

As far as training, I follow the steps listed in MOTH. First, I do the chore with them watching and they are free to ask any questions about what to do or how to do it. Next, I watch them do the chore for a few times until I am pretty confident they can do it on their own. Then I let them do the chore completely on their own. We go back and correct things as necessary but for the most part they have done a great job!

 

And yes, definitely take advantage of those early years where they are eager to help- it is so refreshing to have a little helper with a happy attitude!

[Mom2TheTeam]

I read some of the replies.....

 

I have 6 children 7 and under. Mine are 7, twins who are 5, twins who are 3 and a 7 month old.

 

We have a chore chart. I used the free template from Confessions of a Homeschooler and tweaked it a bit. I sort of works. My 7 year old does really well with it. He keeps me going with it. I struggle a lot with consistency and follow through on this type of thing. *sigh* But, the chart looks very similar to this http://www.confessio...hart-cards.html (Please note: this was very time consuming to make and not free because of buying the pocket chart and printing the cards...I laminated them.)

 

My kids do get "tickets" for their chores. The reason I decided to do this is because I don't have another way for them to earn money and my son wanted to earn money and save for things we won't buy him (we would, but not without a reason). I realize not everyone agrees and even I'm on the fence about it. But, this is how we do it. My children do have to do some things just because they live here, but those things are more on the fly type things. So, they do their chore and turn their chore card backwards. At then end of the day....or week...I give tickets for what they have done. Then, every Sunday night is "ticket" night. We have a family night, game or movie or whatever, and the kids use their tickets to buy "treats" (like juice boxes and fruity snacks, sometimes a small candy or occasionally ice cream treat). We also have a small selection of inexpensive toys for "purchase" if they save up enough tickets. And, my oldest is allowed to trade his tickets for cash (not much because we have 6 kids and it could get too expensive). The idea is to teach them to work and earn and then save for things they want.

 

It is working BEAUTIFULLY for my oldest. He is very careful about what he buys in ticket night that is consumable because he knows he wants to buy things that will last. He doesn't buy toys from us anymore. He gets money and is saving for a large lego set he wants.

 

For my 5 year olds....it's working okay, but they don't get it like the 7 year old does. They do understand the system though and they do their chores when I tell them to.

 

My 3 year olds are not really included yet, but sometimes will ask for a ticket for doing something and I give them one. I make sure they have something to spend on ticket night.

 

That is our system...I'm not loving it, but it is sort of working. I want the book Managers of their Homes, but I don't necessarily think that system will be better, but I do think it will give me better ideas on exactly how to implement and how to get a better routine going.

 

One thing we do that I really like is each child is assigned an area each day. Like today, my oldest has the kitchen, one 5 year old the family room and the other the "hardwood." (Hardwood is our foyer, walkway through the house and dinning room and includes my office too because they have school stuff in there.) Each child is responsible for *that* room. I just told my kids a minute ago, "5 minutes and then it's time to clean up." They will run around cleaning up everything in their own area, even if it isn't theirs or they didn't make the mess. Everyone has stuff in their area that isn't theirs so it's fair. If someone's room has a lot less to do, they help the others when they are done. The person in the kitchen and hardwood sweeps. The one in the family room vacuums. My 3 year olds help out with whatever I hand them or a mess they made or they pick an area to help with. I do have to keep on them. I often have a battle with one (or more) kids, but they know what to do and generally do it. It really helps because the house is at least picked up at the end of each day.

 

Sorry....that was long....off to be a drill sargent and help them clean up before dad gets home.

 

ETA - I think no matter how it's done, teaching your young children to help out around the house is extremely important, especially in large families (but of course for all children just for life skills!). It was SO hard when we started doing this. It was and often still is SO much easier just to do it myself. But, I've realized how important this is and ultimately that it is so worth teaching them. Because of that, I put in the hard work to teach them.

[MinivanMom]

We don't do chore charts. We definitely don't do rewards or prizes. We just work on consistency. One child will have a chore for a year or two before they get promoted to a more difficult chore. Then the previous chore gets passed onto a younger child. I might spend anywhere from 1-6 weeks training a child on their new chore before I expect them to simply do it on their own. I find that rotating chores just makes it hard to keep track of what you are supposed to do, while having a permanent chore gives them the chance to really master that chore. I also try to make sure that chores are part of our routine. There is a set time when each chore is supposed to happen, so the child expects it.

 

One of my older children struggled with keeping track of what he was supposed to do and when he was supposed to do it. He was 4-5-ish yrs old at the time. I traced his hand on a piece of paper, wrote each chore on one of his five fingers (with a drawing of the chore), laminated it, and stuck it up in his room. If he seemed confused or off-task, then I would ask him what he was supposed to be doing and send him to his room to "check his hand." It was a simple way to help keep him on track, while still expecting him to show initiative and responsibility. He used the hand for about 6 months and then didn't need it anymore. For children that are 3 or younger, I am more involved. I might give them directions, "Clear away your breakfast things, then go brush your teeth, and then go make your bed," but I will monitor closely to make sure they are following directions. It always feels like you aren't making progress, but then they get to be 6 or 7 and they are wonderfully helpful and responsible. The work does pay off.