Rally round the problem teacher?

[SKL]

A comment in another thread sparked a thought in my head. Do private schools support teachers to the point of doctoring facts about hurting children, to keep the money coming in / prevent lawsuits sucking it out? Or maybe this is a really naïve question. ... You remember how I said my dd6 had been kept from lunch so she could finish her journal, and didn't end up eating until after 3pm? This is on top of the many times she is kept in from recess to finish work. Last week I had a meeting with the teacher, the school psychologist, and speech teacher, and I mentioned that I didn't want her to miss any more lunches and recesses to finish work. Instantly all three in the room acted shocked and vehemently denied that my dd had been kept back from lunch. Teacher went on a long tirade about how she'd never leave my kid in a room alone (not what I said) because my kid cannot be trusted. The other two agreed, although, how would they have known if this happened or not? Later I separately questioned my other daughter (in the same class but with no alleged "trustworthiness" issues) and she confirmed what her sister had said. There was no reason for either of my kids to lie about this. I really believe the teacher is lying. OK, no biggie, nobody died and I doubt they will starve my kid again. But what else will they gang up and lie about? Interestingly their comments about my kid were pretty consistent in various areas, though they would not have all been observing the same thing at the same time. (For example, they all mentioned my kid getting a 0% on a paper because of not listening, though this only occurred one time in the whole school year.) At the time I thought, "good, this is the objective view," but now I am wondering. How far would they go to protect/support a teacher? (Particularly one who has no chance of being disciplined, since she's the pastor's wife.) Just something to contemplate, I guess. Do any of you see this phenomenon in your schools? Or am I just being silly?

[MomatHWTK]

I've responded similarly before, so I imagine you won't be suprised when I say, you had your answer to that question when the teacher thought it was OK to tell you that she felt ill thinking about your child. Toxic situation, toxic teacher. You did tell someone else about that comment right? (I can't remember.) IMO, the child should have been placed with a different teacher then.

 

Full disclosure- I had a horrible ps experience and homeschool now so I am terribly biased and very intolerant of unfair teachers.

 

Sorry for all your struggles this year. :grouphug:

[kiwik]

you really have to move that child. Hugs. And I wonder about whether teachers tell the truth sometimes too. After all children are often not believed.

[mathnerd]

If the school thinks that you are not going to sue them or make a big issue then they will try to cover up as much as possible and support each other. In the past when my DS has had issues with our PS, we have always gone in demanding our child's rights be respected and asking for written reassurances from administrators that such things would not happen again (we are in a PS where they are extremely wary of lawsuits). Once you ask for things to be put on paper, they try to fix the problem ASAP because of "papertrails" leading to potential issues for them. I am aware that in a private school in a tightly knit community, it would be awkward to raise issues with people you might know socially.

 

Is there any particular reason that you want to continue educating your girls in this school? (does not seem like fun for your girls. Ofcourse if the reason is private, please ignore the question!). If it were my kid going through all of this, I would be attending all the open houses for all the schools in my neighborhood and evaluating other options.

[Greenmama2]

you really have to move that child. Hugs. And I wonder about whether teachers tell the truth sometimes too. After all children are often not believed.

 

I agree. Having worked as a peripatetic music teacher in many schools I need you to know that yes, staff members will lie to protect each other. Since I was usually in a school for no more than two days a week I was often a familiar enough face in the staff room that teachers talked openly in front of me without knowing who I taught or why I was there. I overheard some truly awful things. Things which make me want to scream at you to take your daughter and run. They have already closed ranks around this teacher, even if you do sue you will not get your daughter's educational needs met. Please find her a better situation.

[EmilyK]

We pulled our younger son mid year from school this year because of an issue like this. I thought we were taking the high road since we didn't complain about our wasted tuition, didn't complain or badmouth to the other parents, etc. We still got a fair amount of flak from other parents and the school for not trying to fix the situation. So much defensiveness from the school and the teacher, and other parents, and we didn't even say anything about the way the teacher had ben bullying our son, just that we were doing it for social reasons (bullying) with the other kids, which was also true. UGH. I know homeschooling isn't an option for everyone, but with tutors and a babysitter, we're making it work. I wish I had done it earlier. I don't think our current situation is costing anymore than private school tuition.

 

On the other hand, my older son goes to a different private school that seems scrupulously honest in dealings with parents, even when the messages are hard to hear. I'm really impressed with that school's integrity, and the idealism and honesty of the teachers. And many moons ago when my kids were in public school, I found the teachers had a lot of integrity, even when the administration didn't.

 

So I think it depends on the school (as always).

[jennynd]

My experience with the private school is the same. The school administration lie and dodging questions from the parents. They dismissed any disagreement that I had and minimize the issue that I raised. I do not and will not believe a word come out that teacher nor the headmaster's mouth.