amo_mea_filiis. Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 No flames please. It's impossible to completely dd-proof my house. Dd is not allowed Internet access at night. So last night she devised and carried out a plan that was *guaranteed* to get her Internet access. Or so she thought. She read 50 Shades!!! I played it very nonchalant and just asked her if she learned anything while I continued dusting the piano. This is a game to her and she's determined to win. She does not want my attention. She wants her iPod with unlimited Internet access. I have 9 Vampire erotic novels that I love (I'm 3 behind!). Dd knows she's not allowed to read them, but I can see her now looking for more ways to win this Internet fight. If I run and hide the books, she'll know they're missing and go looking for them. If I leave them where they are, I'm sure she'll get to them. I'm doing a lot of cleaning, so I think I can hide any other books I have or just move stuff around. But I think she'll still find them. I want to stay very low key about this! If she gets a reaction out of me, it'll get worse. What should I do about her having read 50 shades? Book report? Dirty detailed conversation? Lol. I can't punish her or take anything away because that'll be too big a reaction. Should I just leave it alone and be cool when she mentions something in it? Jeez, now I need to go read it! I already reorganized the kindle and put some classics under "mom only" so maybe she'll read them and wonder why I was "hiding" them. Again, no flames please. She's read it. The damage is done. I'm going to take some precautions to prevent access to other books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 Oh my word! I have no advice, but I think "hiding" classics is an awesome idea! Maybe you could take the other books to a friends house? Only keep handy the one that you're reading right no? Maybe in your purse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 I know you say you love those books, but if it were my child, I'd pack them up and get them out of the house whether I liked them or not. If you can't trust her to leave them alone and don't feel like you can hide them, just get rid of them. As for what she's already read...I think my 11yr old would want to throw up. I haven't read 50 Shades, so I'm just guessing based on what I've heard, but I cannot imagine him actually getting all the way through. Since she has read it, I would think the only option would be to sit down in a non-threatening environment, maybe tea and cookies, and ask her what she thought. The discipline issue is separate from the need to let her sort out what she's read. I think punishment is needed, but should not be part of the book discussion. My child would not be allowed on the internet except for school work for a long time after that stunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted March 26, 2013 Author Share Posted March 26, 2013 They're in the car (hidden by the spare! Lol). She will not have internet at all until i decide otherwise. I'll be hiding the modem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 Given the situation and your DD's propensity to search for *contraband*, I would not keep anything like that (books or otherwise) in the house. As for her accessing stuff she's not supposed to on the Kindle or the iPod, are you making use of the parental controls? I'm not familiar with the Kindle, but on the iPod you can password-protect just about everything. You can set it up so that she only has access to one small portion (whatever you want her to access) and you can turn off internet access, games, etc. and require a password to get into those. I would not be giving her unlimited access for the time being. For her own protection. Since she's already read 50 Shades, my main concern would be to help her process what she's read. I haven't read the book, but from what I understand it's pretty hardcore. I would sit down with her (while someone else is taking care of your DS, so you're not interrupted) and have a conversation about it from a place of love and concern. I can imagine that the book was very disturbing to her, and she needs to understand that while some adults do engage in these types of activities, that is not what real love is all about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 What should I do about her having read 50 shades? Book report? Dirty detailed conversation? Lol. I can't punish her or take anything away because that'll be too big a reaction. Should I just leave it alone and be cool when she mentions something in it? Jeez, now I need to go read it! I’d be soooo tempted to make it schoolwork. Copywork? Dictation? Answering comprehension questions after you read aloud a particularly salacious section? :p (And maybe the first question should be “now do you understand why these books are off-limits to you right now?â€) I certainly hope someone more level-headed than I gives you advice you can actually use. I just couldn't resist sharing my little revenge fantasy. :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnIslandGirl Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 No need to hide the modem, just change the password! Time off (a few weeks to a month) from free-range internet access would most likely be a consequence here. I'd be livid, but you certainly can't un-read a book once it's read. The damage is done, and unfortunately it's you who is left to pick up the pieces. 11 is such a tough age to process some adult subjects, but an honest discussion sounds like it would be in both your best interests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 I agree about having a conversation. If she's read 50 Shades (which I have not), she might have questions about what relationships really are (and are not). I remember that when I was little that if our parents hid something, it was worth finding. It was something about the mysterious world of adults. I'd talk to her, ask her why she felt she had to read it, and if she had questions for you about what she read. It's already out there; may as well talk about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 Why does she still have the iPod? It would seem to me that if you didn't want her to have internet access you'd not allow her the device which needs internet access. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted March 26, 2013 Author Share Posted March 26, 2013 She's doesn't have her ipod. The librarian actually has it in her desk! Dd thinks that by doing "worse" things without internet, she'll be granted internet (aspie logic here). My i-device concern is that she's going to lock me out of my stuff. That's why I'll be unplugging the modem. Dictation and copy work were honestly my first thoughts! I'm not worried about the kindle. There's nothing on there but good books labeled "mom only." I only had a few books that were contraband and they're now hidden in my trunk by my spare tire. Everything else in the house is find to read. I'll read the book and she if anything disturbed her. I can honestly picture her coming across certain parts and not really paying attention but thinking "mom will be REALLY mad that I'm reading this part!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted March 26, 2013 Author Share Posted March 26, 2013 Ipod parental controls don't do much for limiting content. Internet is either on or off. I just took the whole thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 We have a program to control content on our DS's ipod. I think it is mobicept but I'm not sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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