Meeting with the teacher

[Tsutsie]

We met with the teacher last night to talk about DS being bored. She was super nice and receptive to all our ideas and I came out there happy and believing that something will be done.

 

This morning, after thinking about it some more, I'm irritated.

 

We went there to discuss DS being bored. We mostly talked about him not paying attention in class and what can be done to get him to concentrate. Still, he scores 100% after 100% on tests and unprepared quizzes?

She also said that he does not participate in class discussions anymore - but he has told me a few times that she stops him when he wants to share things that are not in the gr.2 scope. (Like that are actually more than 3 states of matter.)

Most likely, EVERYTHING that he wants to share is not in the gr. 2 curriculum, so he just keeps silent.

 

He is not a disruption or instigator while being bored - he just sits there.

 

Sad :(

[songsparrow]

:grouphug:

 

Did she connect his not concentrating and participating in class with his boredom? Did she give any specifics as to what would be done differently, what techniques she would try? Did she have any ideas of her own, or did she just listen to your suggestions? Did you mention how he feels that he can't share his thoughts and ideas with the class, and how did she respond to that? Did you discuss the possibility of grade-level acceleration?

 

I'd keep a close eye on what changes, if any, are made and how they are working out, and I'd either schedule a follow-up meeting in a week or two or keep in close touch through notes or email.

[ebunny]

Looks like the teacher has very limited experience and bandwidth, if you will, with a child such as your son.

 

In this scenario, I suggest pushing for a grade skip. A different teacher might be able to help or at least, be encouraging.

If all else fails, there's always the option to homeschool.

[AnIslandGirl]

The first meeting is always the hardest.

I have found that if I go in with a list of questions/suggestions the meetings go much smoother, and I don't feel as though I've been diverted to an area I wasn't even concerned with. I have respect for the teacher's time (as I'm sure you do too), and having an outline of topics really seems to get all of my concerns met within the limited time that teachers typically have.

 

If you haven't already set up a follow up meeting, I highly suggest it. Use the guise of, "I'd love to set up an appointment next month so we can discuss any areas that are improving and other ideas for things we could change up to make both my ds and you to have a great year".

Sometimes the initial meeting is all a teacher needs to really see a child in a different light.

[SKL]

Sad. My daughter is in a similar boat, except that she sometimes makes mistakes (because the instructions are only given as the class works through papers, and she is too impatient to wait for the rest of the class. I guess this is the method of teaching in 1st grade.)

 

Teacher pointed it out as a discipline issue. But she specifically said she is NOT disruptive. Personally I have a hard time myself following a discussion that is frankly way below me. Working with her at home would get her grades up (they're "only" 3.8 now), but then wouldn't she be even more bored in class?

 

I feel your frustration. It's hard to know what to say to the teacher without making her feel insulted. (You mean my lectures aren't riveting to all creatures?) Maybe comparing it to having the teacher sit through a re-telling of a story she just heard, and being expected to hang on every word - all day, every day.

 

In my case, since my dd's "low" point is math (Singapore has an odd structure that is not intuitive to my dd), I'm thinking that maybe teaching her "check your work" strategies might help. Getting to the answer backwards as well as forward. Perhaps merely a bandaid approach, though.

 

When my kid sister was in 1st and was advanced, her teacher had her help the slower kids. Having to explain what she "just knew" was a good learning experience in itself. Would this be an option?

[Saddlemomma]

:grouphug:

 

Did she connect his not concentrating and participating in class with his boredom? Did she give any specifics as to what would be done differently, what techniques she would try? Did she have any ideas of her own, or did she just listen to your suggestions? Did you mention how he feels that he can't share his thoughts and ideas with the class, and how did she respond to that? Did you discuss the possibility of grade-level acceleration?

 

I'd keep a close eye on what changes, if any, are made and how they are working out, and I'd either schedule a follow-up meeting in a week or two or keep in close touch through notes or email.

 

 

:iagree:

[Tsutsie]

I don't think she connects his inattention with extreme boredom. She repeated a few times that, in life, one should do things that you do not like, or that does not interest you. I agree, but 7 hours, day after day, is a long time to be bored. Especially when you are 8. I don't think it's possible for most adults!

 

NOW, this is also the kid who will sit on the couch and stare out the window for an hour without complaining that he is bored. I think he lives in his dreams. Many of his dreams are simply to big or daunting for a 8 year old to realize (like building a particle collider) - I'm hoping he will grow into them.

 

So she does have my sympathy in this regard. I don't even know if accelerating him a grade will solve this issue. It might help, but I think this is just who he is, for now. I don't, however, think that he needs to be penalized for this behaviour while he is still performing way ahead of expectation. Surely, it can be improved upon, but in this case, I think it will have to come from both sides - his, and hers.

 

This is a very experienced teacher, in her fifties. She said that over the years she has had many different students that presented her with challenges, but never one as DS. *sigh* Maybe a sign that I should just homeschool him again.

 

I'd like to hear how some of you found grade acceleration? Did it help as expected? How did the child adjust to it socially?

[SKL]

 

I'd like to hear how some of you found grade acceleration? Did it help as expected? How did the child adjust to it socially?

 

My dd is accelerated a year (she just turned 6 in January and is in 1st grade). In addition, her school is a rigorous private school and many of the kids are redshirted. As noted above, she still has the problem your son has. (Boardies here warned me that accelerating a grade would not be enough.)

 

Socially, it's hard to say, because I think she's an introvert to begin with. Or should I say a dreamer. I don't see her being particularly social in KG or 2nd grade either. But I do believe she'd be losing her mind if she had to be in KG academically right now. At least in 1st she finds a few things new and interesting - multi-digit computations, parts of speech. And her classmates have more interesting things to talk about than a KG class would.

 

It's pretty hard to get a kid accelerated in some school systems, but it might be worth a try.

[songsparrow]

I don't think she connects his inattention with extreme boredom. She repeated a few times that, in life, one should do things that you do not like, or that does not interest you. I agree, but 7 hours, day after day, is a long time to be bored. Especially when you are 8. I don't think it's possible for most adults! . .

 

This is a very experienced teacher, in her fifties. She said that over the years she has had many different students that presented her with challenges, but never one as DS. *sigh* Maybe a sign that I should just homeschool him again.

 

I'd like to hear how some of you found grade acceleration? Did it help as expected? How did the child adjust to it socially?

 

Perhaps in your future discussions, instead of discussing that he's bored (which can lead to her response), talk about that he is not being adequately challenged. That he knows lots of the work that is being covered, and what he doesn't know he learns very quickly. This may open up a different track for discussion . . .

 

Or, it may not. The teacher that I had the most difficulty with was also "very experienced . . . in her fifties." She was rigid, stuck in her ways of teaching, and unwilling to work to meet my child's needs. I hope that your teacher is different.

 

One of my children accelerated by a year. I felt that she was ready for this, as she was accelerated both academically and socially/emotionally. She did very well and enjoyed it for one year, but within another half year she was asking if she could be accelerated by another grade level. At that point, I pulled her to homeschool.

[SKL]

I should also mention that my other 6yo dd is also "accelerated" (she has an October birthday and is significantly younger than all the others except her sister). She's also small for her age (more the size of a pre-K kid). She is not academically advanced compared to her 1st grade classmates. However, socially this is a perfect fit for her. She's very popular in 1st grade and really dislikes hanging with exclusively younger kids. So sometimes, acceleration is actually better for the child socially.

[SKL]

dp and I don't know how that happened . . . .

[Dmmetler]

My DD is accelerated by a grade-she was enrolled in a private school for preschool, and they moved her into K at age 4, with additional enrichment and eventual subject matter acceleration (she was in pull-out reading and math enrichment once a week, plus her teacher started giving her the 2nd grade workbooks for LA and Math within the classroom by about mid-year), but it wasn't ideal. By January, her K teacher suggested we consider homeschooling, because, in her words "I could put her in any classroom in the school, and I swear she'd catch up in the first month, and be bored after that point". Neither of us could stomach the idea of another grade skip because she was already so much tinier than her classmates and was already so hard on herself emotionally.

[Dana]

I'd like to hear how some of you found grade acceleration? Did it help as expected? How did the child adjust to it socially?

 

 

There is the Iowa Acceleration Scale that gives information about whether a child is a good candidate for a grade skip.

You can read more about it on Hoagies.

Davidson Young Scholars site has some discussions on their forums too - and they've got a lot of articles that might give you some more information and resources. You could even look and see if it might be a fit & apply if it is for some additional support.

 

From what I've read, skipping grades can be done well & can be just fine for kids.

 

I imagine if my son were in public school, a skip might be needed.

 

However...

I skipped first grade & was a grade ahead from 2nd - 7th. Starting in 4th, I was in a magnet school for gifted kids (or at least we were in gifted classes all day). We were all in there for test scores & I'd say everyone was pretty bright. Even a grade ahead, I never really had to work & was at the top of the reading class in 4th grade immediately & stayed there.

 

I was also seriously suicidal and had I not repeated 7th grade at a different school to get into a different math program, I believe I would have made an attempt. The only thing that prevented me was fear of not succeeding, so I'd spent a lot of time thinking about ways I'd be sure to succeed.

 

My parents did a lot that added to my social isolation (where we lived, outside support...or lack of it). Academics were never the issue.

However by being the grade ahead and being socially ostracized, it took a long time for me to believe I had worth outside of my academic ability. Being skipped a grade was extremely detrimental to me...and I still wasn't being seriously challenged (that didn't happen until upper-level undergrad & grad school).

 

You definitely don't want your child sitting around bored all day. Again, there really may have been other things that could have been done so I'd have been better off. From what I've read, research says my experience is more of an aberration. However, given my experience, I would really need to see a good reason to do a skip. Boredom wouldn't be enough.

 

I'm happy to answer more specifics via pm or via email about my experiences.

From my reading, I'd definitely use Iowa Acceleration Scale before considering it for my son (and I imagine he'd only be in school after a tragic accident where I couldn't homeschool him anymore).

 

I'd look at gifted and magnet schools before doing a skip. Then I'd be looking at any way to homeschool. Then I'd be looking at IAS to consider a skip, but at that point, I'd also probably be looking at radical acceleration & getting graduated as early as possible.