ProudGrandma Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I have an 11 year old who, somedays, wants me to practically DO his work for him...he doesn't want to put forth any effort. So, how much do you help your 11 year old? Don't get me wrong, I have no problem instructing him...teaching him the concept...but then when it comes to using that information, he doesn't want to do it. I try breaking it down into smaller, more managable chunks...and it's not like he "can't do" ...he is smart, he is not mentally challenged...he does have some aspie tendancies (but very few and VERY mild) and some sensory issues...but I don't think that it plays into it (I could be wrong...and if I am...PLEASE tell me) becasue there are days he gets right to it and does great. A lot of it is "I would rather go play" than do this "dumb" work.... Please....any suggestions for me??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Puberty? My 11 year old daughter wants a lot of hand holding lately too. We've got a working compromise right now, but she isn't thrilled with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Puberty? I hear ya. My 11yo had a full blown meltdown Monday the likes of which I have not seen since toddlerhood because I suggested she spend two minutes a day instead of one memorizing countries/capitals (her progress has slowed down since the holidays). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I hear ya. My 11yo had a full blown meltdown Monday the likes of which I have not seen since toddlerhood because I suggested she spend two minutes a day instead of one memorizing countries/capitals (her progress has slowed down since the holidays). *commiserating* Mine sobbed over a function graph. Lol. Fun days, I tell ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 lots of hand holding being begged for here as well. I know hormones are part of it, but something has to give. It's hard to tell when he has something down or not with the inconsistency of work done. He doesn't want help but he does. As soon as I offer something he bites my head off lol. Right now if I have to help on the entire section he gets more work from a different book/format. Like word problems....he only got some today on his own. I don't mind helping in that area b/c I struggled as a kid with them, but he gained a page of word problems from another book to do now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 We're having the same issue too. We're doing a carrot/stick approach....finish on time and you get to play minecraft. If he needs help 'after hours' (3 pm)...he has to "pay me overtime" by doing extra chores. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Anna~ Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Happening here too with my 12 year old. We have had a bad week so far. My DD says she understands things, and does great when we go through things together, but give her something to do on her own and her eyes glaze over and she acts like she's never seen it before. So frustrating! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Mine doesn't ask for help or handholding. Instead she sits there with a dreamy dazed look on her face. I have to intervene... Particularly with math, there's a lot of "Do number one. Does that make sense? Ok. Now do number two..." Otherwise math would take well over two hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Mine doesn't ask for help or handholding. Instead she sits there with a dreamy dazed look on her face. I have to intervene... Particularly with math, there's a lot of "Do number one. Does that make sense? Ok. Now do number two..." Otherwise math would take well over two hours. Yeah, this I know very well. Yesterday, DD whipped through her math and got every single problem right (which never happens; even when she knows the material, she forgets to do half of the problem, or copies something wrong, or something). And the difference was that it was early in the day, because she hadn't dawdled, and also it was because we were waiting for DS to finish his speech therapy session, so I was standing over her shoulder and rocking the baby, and I had nothing else to do besides keep after her. My DD will be 11 in a couple of weeks. My version of help is usually something like, "What is the next step" or "What is the verb [Latin sentences]?" Organizational help, breaking things down into steps, making her think through the steps -- that is my main focus for her right now. Hints more than direct "this is the answer" sort of help, I suppose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I have an 11 year old who, somedays, wants me to practically DO his work for him...he doesn't want to put forth any effort. So, how much do you help your 11 year old? Don't get me wrong, I have no problem instructing him...teaching him the concept...but then when it comes to using that information, he doesn't want to do it. I try breaking it down into smaller, more managable chunks...and it's not like he "can't do" ...he is smart, he is not mentally challenged...he does have some aspie tendancies (but very few and VERY mild) and some sensory issues...but I don't think that it plays into it (I could be wrong...and if I am...PLEASE tell me) becasue there are days he gets right to it and does great. A lot of it is "I would rather go play" than do this "dumb" work.... Please....any suggestions for me??? This is really, really normal. My son fought me a lot, and even today jokes that his motto is, "That's too much work". We started farming out some classes at 12 and he really began working hard, because someone else was grading him. He still resisted some stuff I wanted him to do, but I wouldn't let him continue his day until they were done and done well. Don't worry...it will happen. Just keep helping him and slowly wean yourself away and let him do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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