Paige Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I finally found a tutor for DD in math. She has very unusual issues and has been extremely difficult to teach. The tutor came recommended as someone who specialized in learning disabilities. The first day was great and she did well, DD was happy. The 2nd time, I gave them a sheet that really highlighted her unique difficulties more than what they had done the first day. It did not go as well. They only completed about 3 problems in 1 hour. I can do better than that. When I talked with her afterwards, I could tell tutor was drained and frustrated. She said she had never seen a child like DD and she'd have to look up more ideas for how to reach her. DD is a very cooperative and hard working student. I know she was not being difficult or misbehaving and I was observing from a distance. Now, she calls me and said she can no longer tutor DD. :crying: She doesn't think she can help her. Poor DD. She thinks she did something wrong. She said, "Well, if Mrs H doesn't want to help me, she can still help other kids, right? She doesn't have to quit her job." Nobody else in my podunk town offers tutoring with much experience or education in special needs. At least I'm starting to figure out how to better reach DD, but I needed a break. Anyone have a tutor quit because your child just wasn't catching on after a short time? I mean, that's why we got a tutor....because she wasn't catching on. :confused1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I'm so sorry. I can see where your dd would be hurt! Is there any room to call the lady back and talk it through? Maybe she could take it on with different expectations? Maybe you were an expecting and expert and she thought she was. ;) Maybe if you go into it knowing she's not, and she comes into it just expecting to give you a reprieve and create GOOD MATH EXPERIENCES to buy some time for development or whatever else, maybe you both could be content? Surely she could back off and do math games or other math experiences tailored to your dd's level and not even worry about whether she's accomplishing xyz curriculum? If not, then I guess keep looking. Someone will be able to work with her. Maybe a college student studying special ed at a nearby college would like some experience? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyomarie Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 You might try talking with her again since the first session went well. It takes time to build a therapeutic relationship- well, any relationship. Good working relationships aren't built in just a couple of hours, so it's hard to know whether it will truly work or not just after two sessions. We had a tutor/reading specialist do the same thing with us. She called after an initial intake session with both my son and me to say she wasn't sure it could work due to multiple issues, including his behavior. I spent time talking with her about what I experienced when I taught him and gave her some ideas on managing behaviors that I found did work. After talking it through, she agreed to give it another try, realizing that it would take time to build his confidence. Within a few weeks we were on a completely new path in a successful teaching relationship. It may or may not work out for you with this woman, but I like Elizabeth's suggestion of having the woman work with her on doing different activities that use math skills your daughter already has in order to create a teacher-student bond (as well as further cement current skills). From there the teacher should be able to lead her into new learning. This assumes that the teacher is willing to be flexible and try new strategies until she find what works with your daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 She said she'd be happy to help her with homework but that she didn't think she could help her get past her problem at all. She actually is working on a PhD in special ed. It's not worth the money and time to me unless someone can help her with her primary problem. I could just get a babysitter and tell her to play math board games with the kids while DH and I go out for cheaper! Which isn't exactly a bad idea....She suggested I call the school system and ask for recommendations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbmamaz Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 i wish i could find it but i cant . .. someone posted a blog post kinda recently about having someone come in house to help her daughter, and after a few visits, it just was clearly not a good fit. she was sad, but eventually they found someone else who just made a HUGE difference in her child's life. This person was not comfortable with your daughter, so she's not the right person. Just keep looking, and it might be a while, but hopefully you will find someone who really clicks with your daughter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 BTW, sometimes the answer is that the "system" doesn't have the answer. Someone who's PhD trained doesn't necessarily know more about your specific dc. It's not like they know EVERYTHING, lol. Sometimes the system doesn't even have an answer. There are lots of alternative approaches that are really niched or newer. The ST technique we use has only been around 10 years. There's a radically different teaching method for teaching non-verbal children (Halo-Soma's Rapid Prompting) that is hard to get info on. Sometimes you have to keep looking outside the system. And yes, I do think there's room to just play math games and breathe and let things come. Sometimes it's going to take a mixture of waiting and a lot of exposure and a lot more REAL work than most curriculum provides. If the tutor couldn't get beyond "I'll help with homework" then she really doesn't yet connect to what some kids need to learn, her degree notwithstanding. Go farther out of the box. Love finds a way, patience finds a way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 Now that I think about it, I think she may have been intimidated by me a little. She's a special ed teacher- not a math person. There were a couple problems on the homework sheet I gave her that she didn't know the "right" way to do. She could have eventually figured it out, but not in a way that I would have wanted her to show DD. I got blank stares when I explained how to do it easily without trial and error. I thought I was being friendly and helpful but maybe I was the problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaughingCat Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 She actually is working on a PhD in special ed. It's not worth the money and time to me unless someone can help her with her primary problem. See now, "working on a PhD in special ed" doesn't say expert to me - it says doesn't have much real experience with actual kids that need special ed yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misty.warden Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Now that I think about it, I think she may have been intimidated by me a little. She's a special ed teacher- not a math person. There were a couple problems on the homework sheet I gave her that she didn't know the "right" way to do. She could have eventually figured it out, but not in a way that I would have wanted her to show DD. I got blank stares when I explained how to do it easily without trial and error. I thought I was being friendly and helpful but maybe I was the problem. This would worry me since her primary job would be to teach math. If that's not a subject she's strong in, I don't think any amount of Special Education training would make her an effective math teacher. I don't think you're the "problem" but she just wasn't a good fit for what you needed her to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 At the very least your special ed tutor doesn't understand the THEORIES of math education. There are whole books on it, because Yllek had listed them in the past. See if someone remembers, or we can try to dredge them up. Or go to amazon and type in something like "how the brain learns math". The book was like $35 but supposed to be good. If they haven't actually studied the theories on how the brain understands math, no they wouldn't have much help for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 How the Brain Learns Mathematics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Hey, looks like he has a sequel that would help you! :) Brain-Compatible Activities for Mathematics, Grades K-1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 A bad math tutor can be incredibly hurtful and do a lot of emotional harm to your DD. At least she didn't lie and take your money. I'm sorry that your DD is upset. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairProspects Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Don't feel bad, I had the district math dept. head quit and refuse to tutor my ds. She had no idea how to handle his disparities. Honestly, I think it is a rare person who can handle these kids. Most tutors have never seen anything like the scope of issues that homeschool moms deal with. Maybe you will just get to be the tutor yourself! No one will care more about helping your dd through these difficulties than you. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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