Help Motivating Older Students/ Study Habits?

[faiths13]

Any advice on motivating middle school/high school students to get their work done? My 14 yr old (8th) complains alot that he has too much work, it's too hard, and he's overwhelmed. I dont know what to make of it - he has pretty much said that unless I barely give him any work. He doesn't want to read anything where there is a lot of reading. Mostly he just wants to read comics and play video games. I know he is bright and can do the work. He has told me before he is lazy and seemed proud of it. He has no goals at all for his future and often answers most questions with "I dont know". Im just really frustrated with him and not sure what to do. I want him to learn and he says he wants to go to college. I just put him into a charter school independent study program through the school district so I could make sure he is doing grade level work to start to get college ready. He honestly has less work than I give him, but its a more challenging.

 

I also have never taught him very good study or note taking habits, as I dont know how. I would love to have a resource to help him so he can learn and retain things better.

[serendipitous journey]

Mine are still much younger; but my first thought is that this is more of a character training than an educational issue. I have found the Charlotte Mason sites -- particularly, for this sort of challenge, Simply Charlotte Mason -- very helpful for guiding a child to develop good work habits and a pleasant attitude.

 

Regarding study habits, what sort of resource would be helpful -- DVD, book? I know the Teaching Company has excellent DVDs particularly for students, including this one for study habits. The Teaching Company courses all go on steep sale periodically; and sometimes I've gotten them through my library.

 

Regarding study and note taking skills, for learning to outline and work from a text the Writing With Skill series seems a good idea, though it is hard work. That link includes the first seven weeks of the program, so you can try it.

A more expensive option, but very thorough and perhaps less demanding initially of your child (and more demanding of you) is the Institute for Excellence in Writing materials. You would ideally watch their Teaching Writing: Structure and Style, which educates the parent on how to teach writing. Then you could start the child easily with the Student Intensive Writing B (for 6-8th grades; C is for 9 - 12th) and go from there. The nice thing about this, with a child dragging his feet, is that he can watch the Student Intensive program himself and it can feel less mother-driven.

[regentrude]

Before addressing specific study habits, I would work on forming goals for the future. Talk to people in various professions. Explore what the options are for someone who does not to get a good education. Identify areas that interest him, explore career paths, find out what could excite him. Talk to people who did, and some who did not, fulfill their dreams. Make an appointment for career counseling at some local school, technical center, community college. 14 is high time that he does these things and gets some idea what he wants to do with his life.

THEN work on study habits, note taking etc - but unless he has plans and sees a need for education for his future, those attempts will be futile.

 

ETA: If he says he wants to go to college, look at admissions requirements together. Have him take a practice SAT so he sees what's involved in getting in. Look at schedules for coursework for certain majors to see where he needs to be at the end of high school if he wants to be successful in college.

[TechWife]

OP, I am in the same shoes you are in.

 

I have no answers, but I can empathize.

[Lily_Grace]

I'll second using WWS. The tips have carried over to DS13's other subjects, especially history. We've also set firm ground rules, like no video games or tv from 8am to 3pm. Physical activity every day. And I've found that the more challenging the work is, the more interested he is. Challenging doesn't equal hard. Challenging simply means that he is expected to mold the topic into something. He needs to express his ideas, argue his points, look at a source critically, or learn to apply the subject to real life. Which brings me to the fact that he needs skills. He needs to find something he's interested in and go deeper. Learning to illustrate manga style? Video programming? Robotics? They often need to be directed toward resources at this age and made to do it for the first week or two before they get over the "it's HARD!" hump. The initial skills lead to other interests and open more doors, which in turn makes them feel more capable and realize the book lessons mean something, too.

[kewb]

Well, I can tell you what doesn't work. Don't yell at him that he will never be able to get a good job and support a family and that he will be nothing but a drain on society and then ask him if that is what he wants. Trust me. That doesn't work. If you will excuse me I will return to the parenting hall of shame.

 

He is taking practice SAT and looking at what colleges want. I think he is finding the whole thing overwhelming.

[Jen in NY]

Before addressing specific study habits, I would work on forming goals for the future. Talk to people in various professions. Explore what the options are for someone who does not to get a good education. Identify areas that interest him, explore career paths, find out what could excite him. Talk to people who did, and some who did not, fulfill their dreams. Make an appointment for career counseling at some local school, technical center, community college. 14 is high time that he does these things and gets some idea what he wants to do with his life.

THEN work on study habits, note taking etc - but unless he has plans and sees a need for education for his future, those attempts will be futile.

 

I love this.

 

This is exactly what got my oldest dd really motivated to do well on standardized tests, take control of her education, find some direction, etc. I think getting all my kids out in the community to see what is *possible* - and what other people do with their lives has made a huge difference in their visions for their futures.

 

Small study skills recommendation:

My oldest has basically demanded that her younger sibs read Cal Newport's "How to Win at College" and "How to Be a High School Superstar." She really wished she had read them earlier in her high school life. She also visits his 'Studyhacks' website regularly for inspiration.

http://calnewport.com/blog/

 

HTH

[faiths13]

Thanks, these are great ideas. I think it would be a good start to work on goals and his future. I was also thinking some volunteer work might be a good idea for him. He doesn't want to do any work ever. I honestly don't think he wants to grow up.