Momling Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 We've had our little guy for 6 months and the time has come to transition back to bio mom. This wasn't covered in the training and I'm curious if anyone has suggestions for how to make it as smooth and painless as possible. At what point should I tell him? He doesn't have a good sense of time and has some language delays, so I don't know how much he'll understand. I'm concerned that when he does understand, if it backfires and doesn't happen in two weeks, as planned, that he'll be disappointed. He's already having unsupervised weekend visits, so he's getting used to being with her already. Anyway -- any ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 No ideas here, but :grouphug: That has to be really hard for you guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Can you call your SW or contact at DSS to get some guidance? Transitioning wasn't covered in our initial training either, but I know that it was a topic offered through on-going training for foster parents. Not sure how your system works, but in our case, our SW is usually pretty open to questions and helping us through stuff like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 :grouphug: How soon will he be going to his mom? Have you helped his mom understand what his routine is like with you (and new likes/dislikes etc)? Is it possible to do some activities with him and his mom and to slowly introduce the concept of going back home. You may also see if it is possible (and allowed within your program) to have a few followup visits/activities after he goes home to help finalize the transition. If you do this it is very important that you not undermine the relationship with his mom. Some foster care programs are set up to have the former foster parents transition into mentors for the parents over the six months to a year after the child is returned. This is the case in the treatment care and medical respite program we have received children through and I think when it works it really works. Of course our twelve year old came into treatment care with a waiver for a non reunification placement and our current medical respite child was abandoned at our home a little over a week ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 I agree with contacting the worker for guidance, esp. as to time frames, etc. With foster care NOTHING is for certain. We have had over 100 foster kids but none that went back home after that long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 There is NO transition for kids here. You are in your foster home one day. Parents go to court. Judge says to reunify. Kids go home either that day or the next (depending on a number of factors). You don't tell kids until after the judge signs the order because anything is possible until that point. For example, court is Dec 3rd. It is expected that judge will sign off on Monkey going out of state. A social worker will pick her up, fly with her across the country, and drop her off with the people she is to consider her family from now on, the fifth home in the last 18months. Her mama, daddy, brothers and sisters miles and miles away, unable to protect or comfort her. Additionally, at that point, she'll also end visits with her biological parents (whom she sees weekly now). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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