snickerplum Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 I was thinking the other day - we have our kids (6, almost 5, 3, almost 2) share all of their toys except for bedtime animals. They're so close in age and mostly interested in the same things. The oldest wanted to play with #3's new birthday doll and I said, "You need to let her play with it, it's new and it's hers." She looked at me like I had 3 eyes. I think we need to start setting some toys aside for each child that is "theirs". But I'm not sure how. Have a toy box for each child and only THAT child is allowed to play with those special toys while they share all the others? I don't know.... I don't want them growing up and never having "that special toy of mine" because we had them share everything. What have y'all done? Any suggestions? They have 1 big playroom for toys and don't keep that much in their rooms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Have a toy box for each child and only THAT child is allowed to play with those special toys while they share all the others? We have communal toys and personal toys. My boys are a year apart, they have a toy box each for their special stuff. They get to choose their personal toys and the other child would have to ask permission to play with it. My boys also bought toys with their own allowance since last year so those are personal toys too. For example both my boys love Legos. However they have different favorite Lego Hero Factory character and so they save for their own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Christmastime is a great time to start implementing this. I remember when we made this transition a few years back. What I would do is, give the kids their own gifts at Christmas and have those gifts be theirs. And yes, either different bins or closets or something to differentiate each of the kids' toys. And it can be a transition, it doesn't have to be "separate all the toys now". You will always have some toys that belong to everyone. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Most of the time, a new toy belongs to the giftee for a while, and then after a while, it's communal. There are a few things that belong to each child, though, and they don't have to share those. In our case, those things are usually things that are also not small-child-friendly (like DD's nice dolls, or DS1's vintage tractor collection, or even special Lego sets), so they live in their rooms and/or on high shelves. It also happens that the boys have identical toys in some cases -- like, they each have a toy rifle, but they know which is DS1's and which is DS2's, so they don't generally argue about them. DD doesn't typically want to play with the rifles (any more than they want to play with her dolls), but if they do want to play with something like that, they do ask first. But trucks, most Legos, kitchen food, puzzles, dress-up clothing, and other random toys are mostly communal after a while (with the exception that they don't get to commandeer all of the Duplos that are supposed to be DS3's). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 To add to the above, special toys abandoned in the common area can be played with by anyone who wishes to play with them. So my son's Star Wars Legos are his alone and my daughter's Lego City stuff is hers. But if he leaves his Legos in the family room to be knocked around by the cat and the 4yo gets into them and decides to build a playhouse out the the X-Wing, there are to be no tears or tantrums. If they care enough about those special toys, they need to put them away when they are done playing with them. I can't take responsibility for policing them. By now, my sanity would be history otherwise! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 To add to the above, special toys abandoned in the common area can be played with by anyone who wishes to play with them. So my son's Star Wars Legos are his alone and my daughter's Lego City stuff is hers. But if he leaves his Legos in the family room to be knocked around by the cat and the 4yo gets into them and decides to build a playhouse out the the X-Wing, there are to be no tears or tantrums. If they care enough about those special toys, they need to put them away when they are done playing with them. I can't take responsibility for policing them. By now, my sanity would be history otherwise! Yes! Oh my goodness, definitely this. Especially wrt the Legos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsH Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 Most of our toys do become communal. When it's still brandnew it belongs to that child and others must ask permission. They each have a shelf (dd10 has her own room so she has more space) where they keep their own toys. If the shelf is full then they can't add to it, and that's true for all our toy storage space. They're usually happy to share, but go through phases of "I want this to be mine" or "nobody can share this." So we just say "fine, put it on your special shelf." After a few weeks the toy usually rejoins the general pool, except for special crafts they've made, stuffed animals, and the like. Toys they each have but differentiate (like squinkies and bouncy balls) are labeled. You lose yours you're out of luck. Like a PP I don't enforce this. If it's not on your shelf then it's free for all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 My kids are not required to share anything--everything belongs to someone. We do not have more than one Lego fanatic, though, which certainly helps. I am going to be no help on the original question about logistics, but I want to give you an "atta girl" and possibly provide some encouragement. We implemented this policy when the kids were small because I got tired of policing their sharing. It isn't like I didn't have anything better to do than sit there with a stop watch, and it was so hard for them to understand. Bright line rules are so much easier than, "Share! Don't be selfish!" What does that mean to a kid??? Anyway, mine are older now (15, 12 and 9), so it is almost never an issue, but they share beautifully and generously now. A "what's yours is yours" policy has not turned them into selfish monsters. It might have turned them into good little capitalists, but not monsters. ;) Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeschoolMamaOfTwo Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 This is how it goes in our house. We didn't really do this on purpose but it just kinda happened. Everything in their rooms are theirs. They can share it if they want, or they can play with it on their own. Those toys stay in their room. The playroom toys are shared and they stay in the playroom. That is just how we do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.