My 11yo is thriving in school, my 10yo is not.

[Renee in NC]

My 11yo (the one who was given a 66 IQ and was on a preschool level in 2010) is set to make the A/B honor roll the first 9 weeks. He has a great teacher that he loves. She pushes him to do things I would not have thought he could. Writing is a good example. This past school year I had him writing more and more complicated sentences, but wasn't pushing paragraphs yet. She had him write a 2-page story! It's amazing the way things have gone for him.

 

My 10yo, OTOH, is not doing well. He has auditory processing disorder, can't read, low working memory, etc. He has always been able to say, "I am good at math." Now he is failing his math tests. Why? It is the new math standards which are very language-based. He can do computation, but not word problems. His teacher is very nice, but this is her first year teaching and she really doesn't have a grasp on what to do with him. She says, "I read his math tests to him" which is great, but it doesn't deal with the language issues.

 

I want to have him use a different program so he can actually keep going in computation because at this point he is going backwards in math. However, how can I do that when he already spends 1-1.5 hours on homework every night? (He's in the 3rd grade.)

[PeterPan]

Can they switch his teacher? Or it doesn't work like that?

[Tiramisu]

I hope you find a solution to the math problem with your 10yo. I would hate to think that he's losing confidence in his area of strength. :grouphug:

 

School has weird effects. As in, sometimes it really works. :lol: The outside motivation and accountability can be enormously effective for some kids. It's sometimes a shock to see what they are capable of with others. It's a bittersweet phenomenon for hsing moms.

 

My dd who is now thriving in ps was the one I always thought I would least like to hs but the one who would most need it. :confused:

 

My dd with CAPD, on the other hand, is a tougher case. She gets very little out traditional classroom settings and can experience lots of stress in that kind of environment. However, at the same time, I can see that she actually is more motivated to put forth effort with an outside teacher. :glare:

[VinNY]

Renee,

Does your 10 yr old have an IEP?

 

Virginia

[RamonaQ]

I have seen, at the middle school/ high school level, parents homeschool a single subject. They can legally fill in the intent to homeschool and take responsibility for a class.

 

A thought......

[CarolineN]

However, how can I do that when he already spends 1-1.5 hours on homework every night? (He's in the 3rd grade.)

 

First, get rid of the homework. No 10 year old should be spending that much time on homework. I have two kids in public school, both with IEPs, and while homework is assigned for them both I get final say on how much they actually complete.

 

Does your son have an IEP?

[cathmom]

First, get rid of the homework. No 10 year old should be spending that much time on homework. I have two kids in public school, both with IEPs, and while homework is assigned for them both I get final say on how much they actually complete.

 

Does your son have an IEP?

 

My just turned 9 yo 3rd grader routinely has at least an hour of homework, and lots of writing in math. :confused: one day his homework contained the question, "Explain why the word 'more' can signal either an addition or subtraction problem." he didn't know what to write and I had to admit I did not know either, so I told him to ask his teacher.

[Renee in NC]

First, get rid of the homework. No 10 year old should be spending that much time on homework. I have two kids in public school, both with IEPs, and while homework is assigned for them both I get final say on how much they actually complete.

 

Does your son have an IEP?

 

Yes, he has an IEP that has everything read to him and written for him. He gets daily pull-out Special Ed for reading/spelling/writing. He is still expected to keep up with the regular amount of schoolwork and homework, though he has gotten reduced assignments at times.

 

I, of course, can tell him that he doesn't have to do the homework, but then he gets in trouble at school. A good example is nightly reading. He is supposed to read for 30 minutes each night, then write a 2 sentence summary. He can't read much of anything, and he definitely isn't writing. His teacher said that he had to complete it, even if it meant that all he did was copy two sentences out of the book he read or we read to him. When he wasn't doing it (it's pointless!) he was getting zeros, and his progress report had him *failing* language arts (not just for that reason, but because he can't complete the LA work at school, either.)

 

I plan to have a conference with his teacher and the special ed teacher after report cards come out. He always tries so hard, but the more F's he accumulates (including on his 2 most recent math tests) the less likely he is to try. Why bother when he gets Fs anyway?:glare:

[merry gardens]

... A good example is nightly reading. He is supposed to read for 30 minutes each night, then write a 2 sentence summary. He can't read much of anything, and he definitely isn't writing. His teacher said that he had to complete it, even if it meant that all he did was copy two sentences out of the book he read or we read to him. When he wasn't doing it (it's pointless!) he was getting zeros, and his progress report had him *failing* language arts (not just for that reason, but because he can't complete the LA work at school, either.)

 

I plan to have a conference with his teacher and the special ed teacher after report cards come out. He always tries so hard, but the more F's he accumulates (including on his 2 most recent math tests) the less likely he is to try. Why bother when he gets Fs anyway?:glare:

Wow. :grouphug: Writing two sentences each night would take many special needs kids with language processing problems an extraordinary amount of time. This sounds like torture. Who wrote his IEP????

 

How about re-negotiating the IEP with his teacher and the school staff? Perhaps they'll agree that he reads the same thing each night for a week--something that you have first read to him and/or highly controlled text that he can successfully read. Then, by the end of the week maybe he could copy two sentences from the text and give an oral summary? Or if that takes too long, set a timer and have him copy it for a specific period of time appropriate for a special needs kid, like five or ten minutes.

 

It sounds like they want him to succeed but they set him up to fail by expecting too much.

 

(I'm glad to hear it's going well for your other son.)

[Renee in NC]

Wow. :grouphug: Writing two sentences each night would take many special needs kids with language processing problems an extraordinary amount of time. This sounds like torture. Who wrote his IEP????

 

How about re-negotiating the IEP with his teacher and the school staff? Perhaps they'll agree that he reads the same thing each night for a week--something that you have first read to him and/or highly controlled text that he can successfully read. Then, by the end of the week maybe he could copy two sentences from the text and give an oral summary? Or if that takes too long, set a timer and have him copy it for a specific period of time appropriate for a special needs kid, like five or ten minutes.

 

It sounds like they want him to succeed but they set him up to fail by expecting too much.

 

(I'm glad to hear it's going well for your other son.)

 

He is able to copy the sentences at this time (that was an accommodation she recently added.) We have had him read the same controlled text over and over, but it doesn't correlate with what he is doing in his special ed room (because we don't know what is going on there.) We'll keep doing that, but after an hour or more doing math and other homework he is just plain tired! Everything takes him so much effort.

 

His teacher is a first year teacher with good intentions, but I don't think she has a good understanding of students with learning issues. My 11yo has a much more experienced teacher, and she is handling his learning issues much better. She knows when to push and when to accommodate.

 

I wrote a long email to his teacher just now, and I hope she will take it in the spirit it is intended. There has got to be a way to balance his needs with the expectations of the school system. I set a maximum homework time of 1 hour, but left it to her to determine what the priorities are. I asked whether his Language Arts grade took into account the work he does with the special ed teacher. I talked about some other things, too, but tried to keep it non-confrontational, non-accusatory, and with a spirit of "we're in this together, so how can we keep him from giving up."

 

We'll see how it goes.

[VinNY]

I hope this all works out for him and you, Renee. My dtr went to PS last year and fortunately so far each year she has received experienced teachers. Though she did experience a lot of being held in for recess to finish assignments and homework:glare: I made sure that I started modifying home work right away (it is in her IEP). So if Math drill sheets were 5 pages long (due by end of week) I crossed out the bottom half and sometimes a whole page (like division drills last year). I wrote MODIFIED on it with my initials.

 

My dtr's special ed teachers and classroom teachers work closely together to keep it all efficient. I think a team meeting needs to be called.

[EKS]

I would see if you could get a different math program written into the IEP. I wouldn't add a separate program at home for a child who is already struggling.

[Shellers]

..... I think a team meeting needs to be called.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[MommyX8]

Popping in to say hello Renee. :001_smile:

[Renee in NC]

Popping in to say hello Renee. :001_smile:

 

:lol: I just posted on your thread at the top....it was interesting to see you here too. FYI...LG Gone Wild here is my BB coach (she is awesome, BTW!)