Live2Ride Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 We removed texting from our home phone which the kids used. There was no if's, and's, or but's about it. We're the parents, they are the kids and we pay the bills. They can't handle it properly. It goes. We did the same with the computer. DD showed the inability to follow the few safety rules we had in place and it got packed away. She has become a more pleasant child since it's been gone :001_smile:. My dd used to say that she 'didn't like me'. And I told her that I wasn't here to be her best friend. I was her mom and she probably wasn't going to like me until she moved out and started her own life and that I was ok with that. I personally don't want her to dislike me, but it is my job to make sure she is safe, healthy, and hopefully responsible. I think that is what is wrong with many parents today. They aren't parenting for fear their kids will dislike them. To the OP. Shut the phone off. They are a convenience and a priveledge, not a necessity. Remember we never had them growing up and we did just fine. :001_smile: If you have a land line, she can use it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oddly enough, the best advice I got on cell phone usage in the car was from Julia Roberts. She was on Oprah and had dome some pledge to not talk and drive. So Julia said she put her purse in the trunk of the car to avid the temptation. Were I In the OP's shoes I would take the iPhone away. The daughter has been warned and threatened - it's time to take action. My child would get a new and downgraded phone, one that can't text. It;s also easy to block texting on phones through the phone carrier. Anyway, once the old-school phone was in place that would be that. She can call and talk to people when not driving. If she went and got a phone that texts behind my back, well then it's be no car, no cell, no cheer, no joy. School only on week days, maybe a boyfriend visit on Saturday, and church on Sunday. Welcome to hell. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Am I the only one who doesn't consider an 18yo high schooler, living at home with Mom and Dad, to be an adult? :confused: I mean, I know that technically she's an adult, but most of the high school seniors I have known, haven't exactly been mature adults, so to me, an 18yo high schooler still counts as being a kid. It's exactly what I said in post 38. I don't think she's even kinda-sorta an adult. And she's demonstrating it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 It's exactly what I said in post 38. I don't think she's even kinda-sorta an adult. And she's demonstrating it. :iagree: I was just surprised that so many people brought up the "18 is an adult" thing, because to me, 18 is just a number, but "adult" signifies a level of maturity and independence. This girl is dependent on her parents for everything and she's still a high school kid, so I just don't view her as an adult on any level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :iagree: I was just surprised that so many people brought up the "18 is an adult" thing, because to me, 18 is just a number, but "adult" signifies a level of maturity and independence. This girl is dependent on her parents for everything and she's still a high school kid, so I just don't view her as an adult on any level. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyBC Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I'd find someone. Not sure if I'd go to all the trouble of the massive amount of paperwork to see a psychologist just for this common sense piece of advice, but I'd quietly talk to everyone she knows and beg them to tell her to knock it off before something bad happens. Her dance team coach might be a logical choice to help reinforce this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :iagree: I was just surprised that so many people brought up the "18 is an adult" thing, because to me, 18 is just a number, but "adult" signifies a level of maturity and independence. This girl is dependent on her parents for everything and she's still a high school kid, so I just don't view her as an adult on any level. :iagree: And more importantly, the logic doesn't hold, because if she IS an adult the question becomes....would you put up with this behavior from an adult? If your friend Patty (fictional character) moved in with you for whatever reason, and then asked permission to use YOUR phone and YOUR car you might go ahead and grant her that permission. She's your BFF and all that, right? Then you find out that Patty is texting and driving on YOUR phone in YOUR car. So you say to her, "Patty, friend, darling, BFF of mine, please don't text and drive my car!" Patty agrees, but then does it anyway! WHAT would you do? I'll tell you what I would do: I would treat her like an adult! I would take back my phone and my car and then I would put her OUT of my house for being so disrespectful and deceitful with me!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMA Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Just take away the phone. If you are paying for it, don't pay anymore. She is old enough to pay for her own phone regardless of where she is living. I went to a cyber safety seminar last year and the police officer said that the best way to deal with all kinds of the safety issues of the Internet, phone, texts from unknown people, texting while driving, etc., is to remove the device. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Am I the only one who doesn't consider an 18yo high schooler, living at home with Mom and Dad, to be an adult? :confused: I have no legal authority over or responsibility for my 18 year old. She lives in my home and I take care of her because I love her, but she is an adult. Behaving responsibly and making mature decisions are not necessary requirements for adulthood. Read the news for proof of that. I don't think 18 year olds should be parented. Providing guidance, advice, support, and assistance is great, but parenting and punishments are inappropriate at age 18, imo. My 18 year old knows that if she lives in our house, she follows our rules. If she didn't I wouldn't punish her. I would hand her the apartment guide. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 I have no legal authority over or responsibility for my 18 year old. She lives in my home and I take care of her because I love her, but she is an adult. Behaving responsibly and making mature decisions are not necessary requirements for adulthood. Read the news for proof of that. I don't think 18 year olds should be parented. Providing guidance, advice, support, and assistance is great, but parenting and punishments are inappropriate at age 18, imo. My 18 year old knows that if she lives in our house, she follows our rules. If she didn't I wouldn't punish her. I would hand her the apartment guide. Tara I have a feeling that the OP doesn't want to be quite that extreme. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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