Rearranging our meals . . . but what about Dad/the family meal together?

[BibleBeltCatholicMom]

We're thinking about changing our meals . . . one main meal in the afternoon and only a snack for the morning and evening meals.

 

On weekends, almost every weekend, we tend to each find something small for breakfast (I usually skip it altogether or have a handful of nuts or something). My daughter and I usually have a snack around "lunch time."

 

Later we have a meal together around 1 or 2.

 

In the evening we usually each scrounge around for something small/snackish and if it's movie night I usually make popcorn.

 

This seems like plenty to us and we all naturally gravitate toward it on weekends.

 

Recently my husband was out of town and my daughter and I, again, without the desire to have a meal at the table with dad, gravitated toward the one meal in the afternoon with snacks for a late breakfast and evening.

 

HOWEVER, I value VERY highly our evening meal at the table. My husband is home from work, we talk, visit, debate, catch up. This is a very valuable time for us but if we change to one-meal-in-the-afternoon on a regular work day, my husband won't be home for the main meal.

 

We've chatted about this and all agree that we like the idea for the food/eating but can't contemplate missing the evening meal together.

 

My daughter's suggestion is that everyone will have the main meal in the afternoon (Dad at work, us at home) and then we'll sit down to dessert together. Well, as you might expect, the idea of fixing a dessert e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y isn't really appealing to me. However, I could imagine something like that idea.

 

Anyone do something like this? What have you done? What have you done to preserve the evenings at the table?

 

I do remember this comming up long, long, ago (I had another name then) but I can't find it. I'd love to know how you do this.

[*Michelle*]

How about an evening tea? Light sandwiches or soup would be quick and easy.

[happyhomemaker]

How about an evening tea? Light sandwiches or soup would be quick and easy.

 

:iagree: You will be eating something in the evening, even if it's not your main meal. It doesn't matter what you are eating so long as you are doing it together and spending time together, right? As for the dessert idea, you wouldn't have to fix something new every night. Most desserts would probably last the three of you for several days or you could just have fruit or something light like that.

[happypamama]

I love the idea of an evening tea that the PP mentioned -- sort of like more typical lunch foods, but in the evening.

 

A plate of cheese, fruit, nuts, sliced veggies, pickles, olives, etc. would be easy and snackish. Smoothies too.

 

If you really find that you don't want food, what about gathering around the table for a "show and tell" sort of thing? Everyone brings something they've worked on that day, or a story to tell about their day, or something. To make it more formal and deliberate, you might consider lighting a candle. If you're religious, you could add a song or prayer or reading. Or a family read-aloud.

 

I think you are right -- there is something really strong and connective about gathering together, Dad included. So if you don't need a big meal, then find a different way to pull everyone together. (Honestly, it sounds lovely. There's so much else that needs to happen in the evenings that I wish I could do the big meal earlier and just light foods in the evening.)

[Mama Geek]

How about instead of centering it around food, play games (card, board, etc.) for an hour or so in the evenings. You still sit around and talk and enjoy each other and can tell stories.

[kitten18]

How about instead of centering it around food, play games (card, board, etc.) for an hour or so in the evenings. You still sit around and talk and enjoy each other and can tell stories.

 

:iagree:

[Seshet]

Lunch is our big meal, but dh is home for lunch. He takes leftovers to work. For dinner, the kids & I have small stuff - leftovers, sandwiches, fruit, veggies, cheese, eggs, etc. Even on weekends, when dh is home, we all eat small stuff for dinner. I really prefer it this way. It has gotten me to start eating earlier in the day, and stopped me from late at night (I used to not eat until dinner & then eat small snacks really late). It also just seems to work better for all of us.

 

If your dh is ok with switching to lunch being the main meal & something small for dinner, there should be no problem. I understand family meals being important. They are really important to us, too. However, it doesn't have to be a big meal. You can all sit down to eat a small, light meal of a veggie tray, soup, small salad, sandwiches, fruit & cheese tray, light omelet, etc. You can still have that time together, talk about your day, & enjoy each other's company. There is no rule that a family meal has to be a large one.

 

Now, if you or your dh have an issue with the fact that having lunch as the main meal would mean he only gets fresh, home cooked meals on weekends, eating out or having leftovers all week at work, then you might want to leave dinner as the main meal, or consider changing to breakfast. This is actually one of the main reasons we switched to lunch. My dh's work schedule changed & he would only be home for dinner on weekends. I didn't like the idea that he would only be eating leftovers except on weekends.

[BibleBeltCatholicMom]

I also like the tea idea. love it, actually! My daughter will love it, too. We'll see about my husband. ; )

 

On games instead . . . I wish. We can usually get Dad to play games once or twice per week but not much more. We are thankful for that once or twice, though. We usually have our games after supper but I think if we weren't having a full supper (i.e. full, sleepy bellies) we might get more games!

 

My husband definately likes the idea. However, I'm the one, as Seshet says, who doesn't like the idea of my husband not having a full, wholesome, full of love, home-cooked meal until the weekend.

 

I think, though, that if we have tea or something, we'll be okay. I mean, if it doesn't work we'll just go back.

 

Thanks, all!!

[Seshet]

How about an evening tea? Light sandwiches or soup would be quick and easy.

 

This was our original plan when we switched. We all really enjoy tea, so I figured it would work. however, it has been way too hot for drinking tea lately. I'm hoping to have dinner be tea with light snacks during autumn, winter, and the beginning of spring, when it is cooler.

[KungFuPanda]

I also like the tea idea. love it, actually! My daughter will love it, too. We'll see about my husband. ; )

 

On games instead . . . I wish. We can usually get Dad to play games once or twice per week but not much more. We are thankful for that once or twice, though. We usually have our games after supper but I think if we weren't having a full supper (i.e. full, sleepy bellies) we might get more games!

 

My husband definately likes the idea. However, I'm the one, as Seshet says, who doesn't like the idea of my husband not having a full, wholesome, full of love, home-cooked meal until the weekend.

 

I think, though, that if we have tea or something, we'll be okay. I mean, if it doesn't work we'll just go back.

 

Thanks, all!!

 

You don't have to eat the same thing to dine together. I'll bet you dont order the same meals in a restaurant. If you and Dd had lasagna at lunchtime, serve it to DH at dinner and you just eat the salad. Honestly, those full home cooked meals can be overkill. Unless your DH is seriously underweight, it's probably good for him to have a light, healthy dinner.

 

I think you can plan and prepare meals the same way, you just need to change up what you are serving when.

[mom2scouts]

I've been thinking about doing something like this too. My dh works nearby and often comes home for lunch. I have an older child who eats lunch at school, but afterschool activities keep him from joining the family meal anyway. We have activities to attend almost every night of the week and our meals are rushed or fast food more often than I like. We have school in the mornings and I haven't figured out when I'd be able to make a big meal unless I used a crockpot the night before.

 

In your case, maybe you could have a crockpot meal or something that could be warmed up later for your lunch and let your dh have that if he needs something more than the snack foods you and your dd are eating.