jeninok Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 my 11 yr old DS was pulled out last spring, as an emergency measure for his own mental health. The meltdowns stopped, his academics got better in math and writing, and we spent a lot of time exploring science he was interested in, reading books, and watching documentaries. Everyone agreed at the time it was the best thing to do, but my parents, and his dad (my exH.) have both voiced concerns he should be in school for the socialization, and to make sure he learns everything he is supposed to :glare: :001_huh: He didn't have a lot of friends at PS, and we have tried to keep in touch with the ones he had, but they haven't reciprocated well over the summer. Frankly he was bored, and driving me crazyso I sent him to day camp this week. I figured I could use this time to finish some projects and cram some lesson planning in. This camp is through the Y, outdoors based with swimming, hiking, fishing etc. The first day was great, yesterday he came home upset because the teachers are mean and they had to pick up trash, and miss 15 minutes of swim time because of it. I never got the whole story, but having the older kids pick up isn't a problem for me.....plus I doubt the counselors left the trash! Today he got in the car a mess. It started with him totally ignoring me, after I waved and he waved back, and my car was parked within clear view of where he was. Then he got in the car and was snarky and rude, saying he HATES the teachers, and they are mean. And that he was called fat today. It took nearly half an hour to figure out what happened with the teacher, and I still don't know what to think, due to his crapola story telling skills. And I am really very very sorry he was called fat :crying:, but we eat healthy, do family activities together to try to get us all moving, and he gripes about it the whole time. He is also shaped awkwardly, with a tiny bottom and hips, and more weight on his tummy. (he also grew a half inch in July, so honestly I think this is a phase) He is still within normal BMI ranges, but needs to grow into himself. I just don't see how going back to school at this point is ever going to be an option, he just does not do well in large groups, and instinctually has a real problem with "teachers" and seems to be either a target of bullies, or really oversensitive to everything that is said by everyone. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I would be contacting whoever is in charge to get their explanation. The picking up trash thing isn't a problem to me because I assume it was as a result of bad behavior (littering) by the kids. But I've seen the guidelines for staff at the Y and they are very careful and very specific about how to speak to children. Calling someone fat would not be allowed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 It was the other kids calling him fat, and my heart breaks for him on that front. I have talked to the doctor about it and he said all the basic things, fruits veggies, low fat dairy, exercise. But not to worry to much as he has a healthy sized immediate and extended family, and is likely in an awkward phase based on age and his previous height and weight gains. I do try to watch what he eats, but not hover and seem to be focusing too much on his weight. don't want to set him for issues down the road with self worth and disordered eating. He is 5' 1" and 123 pounds, which is big for 11, but certainly not obese, it just sits on him funny right now. I was concerned with the issue with missing swim today for a group of them hiking with a CIT and will likely ask about it tomorrow, more because DS couldn't give me a clearheaded picture of the whole situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted August 16, 2012 Author Share Posted August 16, 2012 Thank goodness about 6 glasses of water, and enough food to feed a small army he is much less upset. I understand the hurt feelings from other children teasing him, I don't however know how to handle the reaction he has to teachers/leaders in group situations. Part of being in a group is that when one person is acting wrongly, the entire group often reaps the consequences, this applies to chosen peer groups too, and we have been trying to teach him how making good choices in friends is so important. He has asked about going back to his PS for 5th grade, and I kept reminding him how miserable he was, this afternoon was a total flashback to how it was nearly every single day after school. I know he misses being with kids all day, but it is so not worth the misery. He really and truly did have really awful 2nd and 4th grade teachers, bad enough in 4th that he was having panic attacks about school, after meeting with her several times I found out that she truly was hateful towards him, his reactions and stress were well founded. I am hoping it is just the end of summer, and the counselors at camp are tired and ready to be done. I am also really hoping for a much better afternoon tomorrow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kb44 Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Hugs to you both! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted August 16, 2012 Author Share Posted August 16, 2012 Thank you for the hugs...I needed them tonight, and also just to vent. I also wonder how much of this is being a tween, and hormonal, and a little weird :D He reminds me of his 2 year old self sometimes...That phase where they just say no to everything. He has a matter of principal decided to shrug, roll his eyes, or flat out deny interest in anything I or DH say. But then when it comes and goes he wonders out loud why we didn't do whatever it might have been. :tongue_smilie: I also might have in a fit of frustration grounded him for 3 weeks from all electronics except for family TV or school with my instruction. :blushing: We were trying to go to dinner at Chili's with my parents, I asked him if he wanted jeans since he is always cold, and he said he would just get his hoodie. Then after exactly 1.2 milliseconds of looking for it, gave up, picked his ipod and headphones back and said eh, I'll just freeze. The hoodie was sitting on top of his bed in plain sight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Have you tried out a homeschool group or reached out to other homeschoolers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 ((hugs)) My parents sent me to a YMCA camp one summer, and I absolutely hated it. It's just not for everybody. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bensmom Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Have you tried out a homeschool group or reached out to other homeschoolers? :iagree: Finding hs friends doesn't correct the issues at camp, but might offer a positive social outlet which is always a good thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted August 16, 2012 Author Share Posted August 16, 2012 I am working on connecting with a larger group of homeschoolers in the area, we met a few individuals last spring, but since we started in such a rush at valentines day by the time we got somewhat settled it was summer and the groups were all on break. He is like a fish in the water, so I am also trying to convince him to do swim for fun, I think he would really enjoy it, have a chance to be good at it, and maybe join a swim team down the road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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