shinyhappypeople Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Another chapter in the ongoing saga of Neighbor Girl (this is the girl who burned her leg. She's perfectly fine now, so that's good news.) Anyway... Older DD and Neighbor Girl have a, um, "complicated" friendship. Neighbor Girl isn't always very nice, and Older DD is sometimes overly sensitive. For the most part, I try to stay out of their arguments, as they're generally normal kid stuff and they need to learn to work things out. I do sometimes tell Neighbor Girl it's time to go home, let's take a break and try again tomorrow. Fast forward to today. Older DD (8 yo) was at NG's house playing with NG, NG's older brother and his friend. Older DD was wearing a sleeveless top (wide straps, didn't show anything at all). NG looked inside the sleeve hole (without permission) and announced to the boys that Older DD was wearing a bra. DD was *HUMILIATED*, came home sobbing and told me what happened. And then my mama bear came out to play. I walked down to NG's house and calmly told her mom what happened. Mom asked NG's brother what had happened. FWIW, NG's brother is a very nice, honest and reliable kid. He confirmed my DD's story, plus added more details (NG put grass in DD's shirt and on her hair.). NG's mom was pretty upset and promised to take care of it. Problem solved, right? Wrong. NG's mom called me about 3 minutes later and said she'd talked to NG and it had all been a misunderstanding. She said my DD had told NG about the bra and was voluntarily showing it to her and the boys merely overheard. Um, excuse me?! That's not what my DD *or* her own son said!!! So it's NG vs. my DD and NG's brother... and NG wins. What.the.HECK? :banghead: I told her I thought the girls should take a break from each other for a few days. I'm going to talk with DH about it tonight and think through what our next step should be but seriously? I am stunned at the level of denial this woman is engaging in. *Her son confirmed my DD's story and she STILL believes NG?!* So, I assume that since NG's mom believes that, despite what her son confirmed, it was all just a silly misunderstanding, there will be no consequences for NG. That is *so* wrong. :cursing: Thanks for listening. I'm so ticked off right now, I'm ready to cut NG out of our lives completely. Can't wait to talk to DH about this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 In my own experience banning doesn't work. You can set ground rules, such as only getting together at your house. I would also be discussing with dd what makes a good friend and the qualities one should look for in a friend. I would also attempt to keep dd busy with other activities so time to hang out is severely hampered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 A break is good. Yu might want to consider only allowing them to play at your house where you can keep an ear/eye on things. You or dd may eventually decide she is not the type of friend your dd wants or needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Some people just WILL NOT LISTEN. You can talk until your face is blue, but they will not hear you. From all appearances, if your daughter continues to play with this girl, you will have issues. You need to decide what is the lesser issue - your daughter has to say no to playing with a nearby neighbor child or your daughter continues to play with an annoying child- and then let it go. Otherwise, you're just going to drive yourself crazy with frustration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 My son has a friend who can be trouble. Because of that they do not meet anywhere but our house. I figure a kid that's consistently trouble generally doesn't have a parent I can trust so they only ever play under my supervision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I have come across too many parents like that. Heck I had one on my lawn last week threatening us, denying her son did any wrong when her son is standing there confirming yes he did. If they were nothing more than convenient playmates I ban, if they are better friends I say my house only that way I can keep better track of what is going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I'd be having a conversation about friendship with my daughter and whether or not NG meets any of the qualities one should look for in a friend besides proximity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 We've had a lot of trouble with our NG (our nickname for her is Neighbor Diva). So I get where you are coming from esp. when you don't feel like your dd's word was respected. Having said that, telling the boys that she's wearing a bra is still kid stuff. Embarrassing as heck at that age but still kid stuff. So is putting grass on her. I don't think that taking a few days off is bad but I wouldn't make that in itself a reason to ban the whole relationship. What I"ve done though is make sure we have lots of things to do when Neighbor Diva is available so that dd isn't always able to play. More trouble for me but it does redirect dd into pursuits and hopefully some friendships that are more wholesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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