bnrmom Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 So this past homeschooling year, my kids connected with two siblings in their science class, and instantly became fast friends. It became an almost weekly event to get all 4 kids together, and the mom and I would chat and hang out, and a grand time was had by all. In May of this year, she decided to put her kids in school. They no longer had their weekly science class together, but they still came over to our house once a week after school for a writing class the boys had been doing together, and then would play like crazy. The past month or so it's been hard getting the kids together just due to scheduling issues - conflicting camp weeks or travel schedules. She's expressed a desire to connect, and so have I. My younger son's birthday party was today. She had rsvp'd yes, enthusiastically, weeks ago, when I first sent her the invite. Then she mentioned it again last time we talked, in the vein of "We'll be out of town but back for the party, and look forward to seeing you then." I texted her this morning just to say that we were looking forward to seeing them at the party today. Didn't hear back, and they never showed up. No email, no phone call, nothing. The party was at 10:30 this morning, and it's now 8:30pm. She is notoriously late, and over the year I've dealt with the constant calls about being late or changing meeting spots and the like, but she's never out and out no showed. My kids keep asking why their friends weren't there, and I have no idea what to tell them, other than that I just don't know. So, would you call her? I'm kind of pissed, to be honest, which is why I feel kind of hestitant about calling. Not only is it just rude, but we held the party at a lego center and we were limiting it to 10 kids so we didn't have to pay extra per child charges, which meant that there were other friends ds couldn't invite because he wanted these friends there. It feels a bit like a turning point in the relationship for the kids. My kids will be in school this fall, as will hers, but in different areas (she lives about 20 minutes away). It will require some effort to keep the kids seeing each other, and if this is any indication of the effort she's willing to put into it, I'm wondering if maybe this is a sign to just let it die, which would be really sad for my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matryoshka Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I'd call. Since she mentioned it just the last time you called and it sounds like she's also been wanting to keep up the relationship, I think there's a good chance she had a brain slip and totally forgot it was today. That would explain no call - if she still doesn't realize she missed it, there'd be no reason to call you. I had a friend miss my wedding because she thought it was the next day. I think she may even have shown up at an empty church the next morning. It happens - and it happens more to scatterbrained people. Anyway, I'm the type that tries to think the best of someone until proven otherwise. It sounds like she's been a good friend, and the kind that reciprocates and doesn't need to be run after and hasn't ever pulled something like this before - I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea1 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I would probably call her and make sure everything is OK, since this is not normal for her and she was clear that she was looking forward to attending. If she is OK and just no-showed for no good reason, you might want to reconsider the friendship, due to the reasons you cited. Your kids will make lots of friends at school next year so maybe they won't miss these so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
virtual_twins_mom Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I'd call. Since she mentioned it just the last time you called and it sounds like she's also been wanting to keep up the relationship, I think there's a good chance she had a brain slip and totally forgot it was today. That would explain no call - if she still doesn't realize she missed it, there'd be no reason to call you. I had a friend miss my wedding because she thought it was the next day. I think she may even have shown up at an empty church the next morning. It happens - and it happens more to scatterbrained people. Anyway, I'm the type that tries to think the best of someone until proven otherwise. It sounds like she's been a good friend, and the kind that reciprocates and doesn't need to be run after and hasn't ever pulled something like this before - I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. :iagree: If the friendships are worth it, just forgive and move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I would probably call her and make sure everything is OK, since this is not normal for her and she was clear that she was looking forward to attending. If she is OK and just no-showed for no good reason, you might want to reconsider the friendship, due to the reasons you cited. Your kids will make lots of friends at school next year so maybe they won't miss these so much. :iagree:This is probably the choice I would make, in your position. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I would consider that something happened with them, and I would wait a bit for a reply. Obviously, you will not be upset if grandma had a heart attack, and they made a trip out of town and are not concerned with text messages at the moment , so I would wait to hear from her before jumping to conclusions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeetime Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I would consider that something happened with them, and I would wait a bit for a reply. Obviously, you will not be upset if grandma had a heart attack, and they made a trip out of town and are not concerned with text messages at the moment , so I would wait to hear from her before jumping to conclusions. :iagree: Things happen. Sometimes, things just slip your mind. It sucks, but it happens. I wouldn't be angry with her if this was a one-time thing. It certainly doesn't seem like something to ruin the friendship over. Disclaimer: I am notoriously unreliable. I am late to EVERYTHING. I have been known to back out of things last minute because of circumstances beyond my control. It's not that I don't try- it's just really, really hard to get 5 young kids in the car to go places and something almost always happens to make me late- even when I start to leave early. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeetime Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 S Then she mentioned it again last time we talked, in the vein of "We'll be out of town but back for the party, and look forward to seeing you then." Have you considered the possibility that something came up and they weren't able to make it back into town? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acablue Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I would call. Depending how pissed you are and how good of a "phone voice" you have, you might be better off waiting until tomorrow, but I'd definitely call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 From what you have said about the relationship, I would be more worried than annoyed. I would call to make sure everything is OK. Wait to evaluate the relationship until after you speak to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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