Fourmother Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 - Breathing is overrated. Take your asthma inhaler and puff out all the medicine into the air. Whatever you do, don't tell me your emergency inhaler is empty. I love going into a wild panic and rushing you to the emergency room. (You see, I don't really need those extra years on my life, and I don't have enough gray hair.) It's well worth it since I know how much you like to hear that SHHHH sound. - When I buy a new set of kitchen knives, please take one in each hand and bang the sharp edges together like some kind of deranged martial artist. Don't use any common sense or basic principles of self preservation. You're never too old to behave like a lunatic. That's what stitches are for. Besides, I prefer knives with warped, twisted blades which can never be properly sharpened again. (Ditto the emergency room stuff above.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Since we're not using enough power by leaving the lights on, be sure to gather all the flashlights in the house and play with them in the closet. When you're done playing, go ahead and leave them on - I love to change the batteries! Light is so overrated when we're having a power outage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anewday Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 TOO FUNNY! Mine: Please, even though you know how to use the potty and sucessfully pee in it without reminder all the time, go ahead and poop in your undies and go on playing until the stench gives you away. It makes my day to have to peel them off of you, and clean it all up while trying not to vomit. Thank you.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Here's my contribution to changing attitudes: Dear children, it is so thoughtful of you to make sure when you cram a towel under your bed that it is still damp enough to develop that sweet aroma of mildew within a few days. I would never be able to find all of our towels if it weren't for the odor emitted from your room! Please, feel free to spritz all of the clothing crammed in the nooks and crannies in your room so that everything can develop that same scent. It makes laundry so much more fun to try to develop a cocktail of chemicals to remove that odor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manylilblessings Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 After all, we've always wanted more pets in the family, and the ants make such a *fine* addition, with their lovely little trails in and out of the window to get the sugar. Perhaps I could train them in my spare time so that we could have our own ant circus. Oh my gosh... love the ants! Mine for the day. Children, when I serve you a meal, please do critique every part of it, because a chef can't improve without a posse of food critics. In fact, make all kinds of faces and sounds, so that I can count dinner as part of homeschooling; acting class. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 **Dear, precious ds 7(today!), please continue to leave your baby brother's sippy cup filled with milk under the bed for several weeks. I love giving my olfactory sense a workout by trying to identify both the odor and from whence it comes. **Oh, beautiful dd's (5 and 3), please change all of your clothes, including your underwear, multiple times throughout the day. Your beauty is enhanced with each new wardrobe choice. And do continue to leave the "dirty" clothes artistically strewn around the house. I certainly understand the creative bent, that inspiration, which says "a spot of color just...here". **No, sweet ds7, I don't need to know that your TKD uniform *must* be cleaned and ironed for the testing and graduation which is tonight. I understand that you thought it was clean when you hung it up (despite the stains and, well, stink) and I don't mind adding to my already hectic day. **I do so appreciate the trail of pee from the toilet to the wall/floor/sink/etc when a sudden noise startled you while you were indisposed. And you're right, I appreciate it even more when it's days old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just a Jen in Mississippi Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 To my 3 year old, when you knock the toilet paper into the toilet, please get it out and put it back on the holder and please don't tell me. I like to reach for wet toilet paper. And don't bother to wash your hands afterwards. To all my dc, please leave all wet towels and bathing suits all around the floor. I like wet carpet. Don't bother to reuse them. Get a fresh towel when you go back swimming two hours later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 And may I add..... Please leave the doors open, I really want as many mosquitos as possible to eat me alive in my sleep at night. And flies. The more flies the better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamasteff Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 LOVED this one... "Thank you for removing that item I asked you to put away, only to set it down on the next available surface while you wander off to do something more interesting. This way, I'll get some exercise when I finally give up and move it to its proper place for you just to get it out of my sight!" Were our kids twins separated at birth? Seriously, how many different wrong places can you put a hairbrush - and then have the wherewithal to SIGH AT ME because I am nagging??? Here are a few from our road trip: 1) Honey, I think it is a marvelous idea to yell, really loudly, just after the 2 y.o. finally falls asleep in her car seat. I think road trips are so much more fun with crying from the backseat! 2) Darling older daughter, keep on taking the baby's toys from her. There is nothing I like better than hearing her screech 12 inches behind me, "NO! MINE!!" 3) You're right dear, let's not double check the motel room fridge. I'd much prefer to think of that cantaloupe as a gift to whomever checks into this room next. 4) Winding mountain roads instead of my carefully planned out route? Sure hon! Who needs Bonine, anyway?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamasteff Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 deleted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy in Australia Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Dearest sons & nephews, please leave your size 498 sneakers right in the doorway so that I may trip over whilst carrying multiple grocery bags, heavily laden with food which I have bought in order that you may eat it all in one day, thereby giving me the opportunity to repeat the whole process the following day. Also, it would give me a special thrill, as I regain my balance from stepping on your gigantic shoes, if you could strategically place the skateboard nearby so that I can learn the steps of a new, avant-garde type of dance, the likes of which has never been seen before. Once all this has taken place, you will ideally stand around me with concerned expressions on your sweet faces as you say, "What are you doing?":001_huh: This is one terrific thread :lol:. Who knew our children shared so many...traits? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Great thread! Mine...please throw all your nice new clothes in the bottom of the closet after I've ironed them. I so enjoy re-ironing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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