I feel guilt over giving school work

[summer]

I know this soounds insane, but when we have done a lesson of Latin and DD has to just go and work on it, I feel bad! I mean, she is in there with her flash cards and all working on it. I know she is not enjoying it, and part of me feels bad. I know this is pretty dumb. But I picture it being more fun with a teacher instructing her in Latin if she went someplace. Instead, at home, she watches a DVD and then does her work. She has made it clear she does not enjoy it, but she really really needs this.

[Sophia]

Who is it that says "School doesn't have to be fun, it just has to get done!"

 

Honestly, you are doing her a favor by teaching her to persist in doing the right thing even when she doesn't want to do it.

 

I'll go further than that: Especially when she doesn't want to do it!

 

I just responded to your other post, and y'know, I'm thinking you two need some fun girl time by yourselves.

You're feeling guilty and thinking you're failing her, she's feeling bogged down by schoolwork-go get some ice cream, take a walk and just hang out and enjoy each other.

 

hugs,

[Remudamom]

Well, you can't learn it for her, she's got to study it herself. Mine watch a video, do the work and I just review them and test them.

[Crissy]

What is the alternative, Summer?

You don't give her the kind of work that makes you feel guilty?

What does her future look like if you give in to that guilt?

 

What is it about a child working hard that makes a parent feel guilty anyway?

[Nestof3]

You know -- I chose to not treat learning like the traditional schools, and that means life happens when we the parents choose, you know? I will choose to close school for the day because it is beautiful out in the spring and let my boys play outside all day. I will also choose to assign school in the summer. I remind my kids that I don't get "weekends" off, so it's not guaranteed that they will either.

 

I guess what I am saying is I make sure it gets done over time according to what works best for our family.

[Cedarmom]

I too have felt that at times. There is a voice inside my head that tells me "If he's not having fun learning, you are a bad teacher" I have this picture of all the other moms and homeschool kids blissfuly learning, delighted in every moment. But with the friends I know in real life, this is not so. Sometimes learning is hard work. And as has been said, what is wrong with our children working hard. I think we have been conditioned to think that all moments should be fun. But teaching your children this won't prepare them for life. Balance is good. Work hard,and spend time enjoying each other.

[Rhondabee]

OK - I have a different take.

 

When I first started hs'ing I had a similar post, and I think it was Ellie who responded with, "Why are you sending an obvious social butterfly off to do his work by himself?" At first I resented this because I kept hearing how independent and self-teaching homeschoolers were supposed to be, and it didn't seem fair.

 

But, really, life is so much better, and school is so much better, when I work with my kids. I do their Latin flashcards with them, for example. I read their Latin lessons with them, and then do part of the work with them - which means I'm learning it, too. But, even if we were using a DVD, I would probably sit with them while they watched it so we could pause and discuss and I could know they were getting it.

 

My kids do have independent work in each subject, so I'm not advocating to eliminate it! But, it's definitely a balance that will vary from family to family - and just because something is designed to be self-teaching doesn't mean self-teaching will work with every student.

 

Best wishes!

Rhonda

[angela in ohio]

But, really, life is so much better, and school is so much better, when I work with my kids. I do their Latin flashcards with them, for example. I read their Latin lessons with them, and then do part of the work with them - which means I'm learning it, too. But, even if we were using a DVD, I would probably sit with them while they watched it so we could pause and discuss and I could know they were getting it.

 

My kids do have independent work in each subject, so I'm not advocating to eliminate it! But, it's definitely a balance that will vary from family to family - and just because something is designed to be self-teaching doesn't mean self-teaching will work with every student.

 

Best wishes!

Rhonda

 

:iagree:

 

I think a lot of homeschoolers have thrown the proverbial baby out with the bath water. While shunning all that is school, they forget the effective part of the school day - the actual instruction! Things are better taught by someone who is interested in the child and their education; you can google and find plenty of studies on the benefits of direct instruction.

 

JMHO: Follow your instincts! Sit and watch the DVD with her, then do the flashcards with her. Then you will both know it, and you can incorporate what she learns naturally into every part of your day. Not only will she learn more easily, but it will bond the two of you with your shared knowledge. I am all for dc working hard - people actually have names for me because of the amount of work my dc do, LOL - but you accomplish more when you teach effectively.