BTDT? Establishing "quiet time" for three year old twins?

[easyasxyz]

Deep breath. We are about to take our twin girls out of cribs (with crib tents nonetheless!) and put them into twin mattresses on the floor, their "big girl beds". They are just about to turn 3, and are slowly dropping their afternoon naps (napping only about 1/2 the time now).

 

I know it will be an adjustment for bed time, but what I'm worried about is quiet time in the afternoon after lunch when they have always napped (or at least been trapped in their cribs!) for at least an hour, usually two hours. My five year old son readily stays in his room for his quiet time, playing legos and listening to audio books. We have always done "quiet time" for him and plan to continue to give us all a break during the homeschool day.

 

Can anyone talk me through how to train the girls to stay in their rooms for quiet time/nap time? I'm debating the idea of separating them during quiet time, at least initially, and have one of them in their room (which they share) and one of them on our bed in the master bedroom.

 

What worked for you? Ideas? Suggestions? Thank you!

[JessReplanted]

Separating them is a good idea if you actually want them to nap. I don't have twins, but my girls are only 12 months apart, so I'm sure I was dealing with the same thing when they were 3 & 2. We always use a sound machine blasting on white noise for sleeping/nap time/quiet time. So, I think I just put them in their room, turned on the sound machine and told them (over and over) that they could not come out. I always encouraged naps, but honestly, I never minded them playing or looking at books as long as they weren't screaming at the top of their lungs. :lol:

 

My girls are 4 and 5 now, and we still have Quiet Time often, and sometimes they do still fall asleep.

[wapiti]

Separating them is a good idea if you actually want them to nap.

 

:iagree:

 

When my twin boys turned 3, naptime was time to party. One of them figured out how to climb out, we switched to mattresses on the floor, and their naptime was history. Bedtime wasn't much of a problem (make it earlier if there's no nap!).

[Paige]

Don't do it! LOL!!!! Once they are out of cribs it is like a pajama party every night! If your girls are small enough, what worked best for us was to put them down together, come back and give 1 warning to settle down, and then separate them by putting them in pack n plays (baby beds) for the rest of the time. If you're lucky, they will not like being put in a baby bed and will learn to stay quiet to avoid it. If they are too big for pack n plays, then I'd just put one in another room, but you may need to monitor to make sure nobody sneaks out and goes to her sisters room to restart the party. At that age, however, I really wanted them to still take a nap. I would lay down in the room with them until they were both asleep and then leave. I didn't care when they woke up as long as they slept. Sometimes I would bring a book in or I would bring in some kind of crafty thing to do.

Edited April 10, 2012 by Paige

[Legomom]

When my boys were four, they had bunk beds so that helped to separate them. If they didn't quiet down to read/look at books or sleep, I would take a pillow and something to read (for myself) and lay down on the floor in their room so that they would have to settle down. I would read or nap during that time. I could have gotten up after they settled down, but oftentimes I just stayed there and read or snoozed!! We lived in a dinky apt so there wasn't much housework etc to do back then!

 

When they were three, they still had naps and had beds next to each other, so they went to sleep. Oddly enough I don't remember there being much of an issue getting them to settle down at that age.

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

I have my 3 grandkids living with me (2, 2, and 3).

 

I got some floor mats like they use in preschools.

 

I put them each on a mat in different rooms at naptime. If I didn't, they'd never get any sleep and I'd never get my well deserved break!

[easyasxyz]

Thanks for the input/comments!

 

I'm not sure I am expecting them to nap. Frankly, they have a party in their cribs now, so I doubt we will be getting naps out of them going forward! Lol.

 

But I would like to teach them to have a quiet time in their room. Just wondering if others have success stories from their twins or multiple young children of similar ages (preschool) who share a room?

[JFSinIL]

I would not separate them, but make sure the room is safe, and has a few safe, quiet toys, plus a lot of durable picture books. Praise them for being big girls now, and able to enjoy quiet time like their big brother. Maybe one or two special, quiet-time only toys would be a good idea, too.

 

I think that is about what i did with my twins - they are 20 now, so my memory of those days is not what it used to be. I know we got the metal frames to hold the crib mattresses as toddler beds - somehow making it a "bed" instead of a mere mattress on the floor helps the kidlet feel more grown-up.

 

Just a mattress on the floor is asking for it to become a trampoline.

Edited April 10, 2012 by JFSinIL

[dhudson]

I seperated my twins for rest time. It was the only way to maintain sanity. FYI, after moving them from cribs I spent atleast a week outside their rooms at bedtime with a pillow and a book to make sure they stayed in bed. With my son it only took one time of me telling him to stay in bed ( from the hallway) for him to be compliant but it took repeated times a night for about a week for my daughter. It worked but only after she was sure Mommy could hear and see EVERYTHING!;)

[Farrar]

Oh yeah, I've btdt. :D

 

SEPARATE THEM! As far as I'm concerned, there's no other way to do it. In fact, that's the exact age when we separated ours for bedtime too. And took them out of the cribs. The whole thing was a revelation in our house. Obviously, every family is different, but for us, we went from struggling to make them nap, trying to keep them together because we thought that was best for them, struggling to make them sleep at night and no one getting any rest to separating them, giving up their naps in favor of quiet time and having children who went right to bed without issue. Oh, and they potty trained in there too. All within about two weeks. I credit the desperate need they had for separate rooms.

 

In terms of the quiet time, I latched the doors. I know that sounds horrid and it meant I had to stay awake during that hour in case anyone was actually in distress, but otherwise they kept popping out.

 

I also put their little potties in their rooms during that time because "I need to go potty!" became the immediate cry once they had settled and by the time everyone had pottied, or tried to potty, quiet time was practically over and my sanity wasn't any better off.

 

I made sure they had plenty of quiet amusements. That they knew sleep was an option (one they took maybe once a month).

 

Also, to stem the "When's quiet time over?" shouts, I put weird wall clocks in their rooms. I can't remember where I got this idea, but I pulled the hour hand off clocks then put little pictures over the numbers (I think colors would work too - anything obvious and memorable). Then when quiet time started (we had a semi-consistent time for it, but it could vary a little) we would look at the clock and see where the minute hand (the only one) was pointing. Oh, it's pointing at the bird! That means quiet time is over when it points at the bird again.

[Rbsmrter]

We're still in the midst of it! My 4yo and 3yo have shared a room since the 3yo was out of a crib (18 mos). It can still be extremely frustrating, but it's not a decision I would ever change. We've always had the option to seperate them, but I've found that the bond they formed is more than worth some of the minor frustrations. However, they do nap seperately. I'm a big believer that everyone needs some quiet time and I think each one of us needs a break. My 3yo naps in the shared room and gets to play with toys that are only used for quiet time. He naps maybe 2 times a week and the rest of the time he plays. The 4 yo never naps, but she stays in my bed and reads/listens to books and draws. I find they are both in a better frame of mind when they've had the chance to be apart for a few hours. They do go to bed every night together and we've had the occasional problem. They tend to be rare occurences and we deal with them as they come up. We put them down about 30 minutes before we would like them to actually fall asleep. They are free to talk and read, but they arent allowed to get out of bed and pester each other or turn the overhead light on (they each have book lights). If they follow the rules we don't interfere, but if we see/hear them breaking the rules one of the kids has to go to sleep in our room (where there is absolutely nothing for them to do). Somtimes we go weeks without having to do this, other times we do it three times in a week. For me, having consistent rules, consequences and reinforcements in place has helped at nighttime. I find myself easily frustrated at the end of the day, so I knew this was a great way for me to remain calm and make sure they knew exactly what happens when they follow the expectations and when they dont. With that said, I can only handle it once a day, which is why I have absolutely no problem seperating them during naptime. They get more rest, I get more rest, and bedtime is much smoother thanks to well rested kids :001_smile:

[Dancer_Mom]

We ended up having to separate our twins when they moved up to toddler beds. I was really sad.

 

I had dreamed of them co sleeping as newborns... never happened - they woke each other up. Then I dreamed of them sharing a room until they were 8 or 9 (they are boy/girl twins) and remaining close. But that was our problem - like you said... it turned into a party every night.

 

My husband and I took turns staying outside their rooms for more than 2 weeks trying to get them to stay in their beds. Finally, exhausted as I was nursing a new baby I split them into different rooms and they immediately listened and didn't leave their beds.

 

We do the same thing for quiet time. They each get a few books and one sits on Mommy's bed and one sits on their own bed and they are good. They simply cannot stop laughing and playing if they are together.

 

I am still a little sad about splitting them into their own rooms but it was what worked for them. Good luck.

[Green Vixen]

I guess it really depends on what you want to have happen during that quite time?

 

Do you want them to nap? - If you do you may have to sit it there, turn off the lights, and "supervise" that they stay in bed, or put them in separate rooms. This didn't work particularly well because then we had two rooms we had to deal with instead of just one.

 

Do you just want them to be quiet and stay in their room? - Again, you may be sitting outside the door for the first week or two and making sure they stay in there (bring a good book :lol:).

 

Do you want them to eventually be in the same room during quiet time? - If so you might as well get them used to it now.

 

Is the biggest goal to let them rest for an hour or so, or to give you an hour with some time for yourself? - If you are wanting some time to yourself then maybe them jumping on the mattress for an hour isn't such a bad idea, they'll be out of your hair and will be getting some exercise LOL!

 

I don't know how well almost 3 year olds will do with quiet time by themselves. They may either need to be napping or playing, and at least when my twins were turning 3 they didn't have a lot of quiet playing activities. Maybe until then you can pad the walls and shut the door :D!

 

Good luck!

 

Marisa

[easyasxyz]

Thanks for all of the suggestions! I have a lot of ideas to consider.

 

The girls are already potty trained, and we don't have another bedroom to separate them into permanently (except the master for quiet/nap times). I hope that they nap some, but I think it will require separating them. We are kind of in that awkward spot of them starting to be ok not napping, but some days clearly needing one. They really love being together so perhaps that will be a motivator for them to learn to stay and play in their room together, quietly, while mom has a break (my ultimate goal revealed). :)

 

Thanks again, we shall see how it goes very soon!

[craftyerin]

I have twin 3yos plus a 4yo and they all stopped napping right around their 3rd birthdays. So, it's been nearly a year that naps are few and far between in my house. We do an hour to 1.5 hours of rest time every afternoon. I have to split them into 3 rooms for it to work, though. My boys share, and so I send one of them to the play room and the other is in their room. They stay in their rooms and play quietly (sort-of), only coming out to potty. They know rest time is over when their stoplight clocks turn green. I cannot recommend the stoplight clocks enough.

[justamouse]

You are cah-razy to take them out of their cribs. Take the sides off and make them 'toddler' beds while they transition.

Edited April 11, 2012 by justamouse

[easyasxyz]

Brilliant idea about the stoplight alarm clocks! Thank you! I am also very encouraged that you have successfully split up three preschoolers for quiet time.

 

I'm hopeful that this may be possible for us. I think we'll get there, but my certifiable self may be curled up in their crib, fetal, before it's all over.

 

Transitions, blah!

[JessReplanted]

A sound machine for sleep time is magical! Seriously. We use white noise, but I think you could use other sounds too. It becomes a sleep trigger, and when the kids (and adults) here the sound it has a natural calming effect.

 

It really has been our key to Quiet Time and early bedtime success - even when living in a very small house & having kids who have to share a room.

[Farrar]

You are cah-razy to take them out of their cribs. Take the sides off and make them 'toddler' beds while they transition.

 

But how is that different than just a bed? We used toddler beds out of ease at that age, but when we switched, it's not like it was some big difference. :confused:

[easyasxyz]

Oh, these girls have slept with white noise machines from birth, and calming music to start with, we are big believers in that, agreed! I hope it will also work when they are not confined in the crib.

 

I guess the whole out of crib onto a twin mattress began b/c we had a family member give us cute matching twin bed frames, and we just never looked back from thinking "crib to twin" approach. We're putting the basic mattresses on the floor initially just for safety and to warm them up to the whole thing. We'll add the beds later. We've been playing up the "big girl" component of the switch for a while now. Fingers crossed!

[justamouse]

But how is that different than just a bed? We used toddler beds out of ease at that age, but when we switched, it's not like it was some big difference. :confused:

 

I added that after I went back and read what the OP did.

 

I honestly had no problems with my twins-and then one year old taking naps and bedtimes. There were no parties. We had a schedule, and we stuck to it, so when the beds came, it was still the schedule they were used to. I would sit there and read in the room for a while to make sure quiet time was kept, but that was about it. And at that point I had 4 kids of both sexes in one room, the caboose wasn't born yet. (we had switched our living room to the 'dorm room' as it was called).