Dish me up some advice on my 4 yo, please. Give me reality. :)

[pehp]

I'd love a few thoughts on this. I have my own thoughts (below) but I want to see what others think.....

 

My ds turns 5 in June. We have been working together on some reading (we use the Ordinary Parents Guide, but on a whiteboard). He's on lesson 30-something, so he's reading things like The big fat hen ran....stuff like that. He enjoys it IMMENSELY when he gets the words right, but sometimes he just guesses at a word (I can tell!) and then he gets frustrated and put-off, and complains of being "tiiiired...." Although I want him to be able to handle and deal with frustration, he's four. I really have no wish to force the issue, you know? So I am considering laying off, and during our 'lesson' time in the morning, doing less phonics stuff and more just reading together. Because he LOVES reading books with me!

 

For math, we were flying through the MUS primer but lately that too has seemed to garner complaints. (We are about halfway through, I think--he's done place value, knows all numbers to 20, can do simple addition.) OR he wants it to be 100% perfect so if he, say, writes the 7 backwards, he gets aggravated by it. I don't care if his 7 is backwards! I don't correct that yet--I just want him to get the concepts, and that's it. Because today's session was a little annoying for us both (he was upset about writing a 7 backwards, and seemed 'over it' before we began), I am now considering shelving MUS ENTIRELY for an undetermined length of time, and instead just playing shop. You know--he's the shopkeeper and I am a customer and I buy things from him. Colored pencils, trains, etc.

 

Handwriting is easy. He loves to write letters. I don't care about penmanship at this point. It's good enough, IMO, for a four year old boy!

 

So. WWYD? He's SO young still. I know we 'start' kindergarten in the fall, but even that can be very laid back (I don't have to test him or anything until the summer between first and second grade--that's 2 years away!). The whole point of homeschooling, to me, is to kindle a fire of enjoyment. We do very little school as is--we just do the phonics and math lesson and that's it. The rest of the day is spent walking, creating, exploring, playing, etc. (We live on a farm. We visit the library frequently :)) I recently caught a quick (on the ipod) glimpse of stuff kindergarteners are supposed to know (on another website)and he already knows a lot of it. So maybe we should just.....stop.

 

What do you think? It is very important to me that we both enjoy this process, and that no one is feeling burnout. I want him to love learning. I don't want us to become adversaries over something as ridiculous as a math-u-see primer when he is four years old. (I mean, relationship building seems so much more important...) I think I need reassurance that it is perfectly fine to cool our jets (even though our jets really weren't all that warm).

[Sctigermom]

When my son was that age and become frustrated we put away the more formal things for fun things. Lots and lots of games and reading books were what we did. We got 2 huge foam dice from our local educational store and played all sorts of made up games with those for math. My son is a bit competitive so he picked up money on his first go at monopoly (and beat me). Puzzles, mad libs, walks (read all the words around you). Then in a few weeks go back to your lessons and see what happens.

[FO4UR]

My .02 fwiw...

 

 

Don't stop, but do tweak.

 

He's a bright kid who wants to learn. He's still only 4yo and maybe not developmentally ready for materials written for 5/6/7yo's.

 

Instead of giving him a whole word to decode (or guess), write only one sound at a time. Have him say the sound as you write, and then he can "guess" when the whole word is written. Mix it up with magnet letters and sidewalk chalk.

 

 

If it's frustrating to write 7 backwards, then separate the writing of the numbers from the actual learning of math. Your idea for playing store is right on target. Go with it!:001_smile: I let my little ones answer math problems in Cuisenaire Rods.

 

 

I think you should do what your momma-instinct is already telling you to do...relax on the curriculum, but keep teaching him in your own way.

[Kathleen in LV]

My son is now 5.5. We started our K year very similar to what you're describing. We used (and are still using) OPGTR, and we supplement with library books. Our formal reading lessons rarely take more than 15 minutes. For your son's reading level, he might soon be ready for some of the beginning Bob books. My son enjoyed being able to read an actual book.

 

For math, we started out just playing with numbers (a lot of "store" games like you describe) and doing other fun math activities, like measuring his Matchbox cars & drawing a graph. We're now doing MEP & I think we're going to incorporate Ray's Arithmetic. (There's a whole other thread on that topic.)

 

And we did a lot of printing practice, like you describe.

 

After getting over halfway through OPGTR, we're just now incorporating spelling using AAS Level 1, which is pretty easy for him, but that's fine with me. I'd rather him build up his confidence at this point.

 

I don't really "do" history or science, but if my son asks a question, we might look something up or do a little experiment. And when I can tell he's no longer interested, we wind things up.

 

The other thing I've incorporated is geography. I didn't really intend to. But my son loves his US puzzle map, and incorporated the states into a lot of his own made-up games. Through his play, he learned all the states & capitals. We also play with a laminated world map, and he drives cars to different continents & countries, which he can also recognize reasonably well. I also incorporated a geography workbook, which my son asks to do, so I oblige, but I don't push it.

 

We've had a relatively relaxed year, with lots of trips to the parks, library, museums & sports class.

 

It sounds like you aren't really interested in a "hardcore" kindergarten year. I would recommend continuing with reading, math & printing, and then pursue whatever interests your son. I know it's intimidating when you see some of the diverse curricula pursued by different members on the board, but it's not a competition, so just enjoy the K year & do what works for your family. It really can be lots of fun when you're not stressing yourself out.

 

Good luck!

[lindsrae]

Shelve it. Read books, look at worms and bees and flowers. Color pictures. Do delight driven interest led. Enjoy spending time together. Expose him to beautiful music, books, and art.

 

Relax. Educate yourself, read great books, brush up on your Shakespeare. You don't get a do over on four. Speaking from my limited experience and trying to push less and live in the moment with DD #2, who is four :)

[Sara in WA]

Shelve it. Read books, look at worms and bees and flowers. Color pictures. Do delight driven interest led. Enjoy spending time together. Expose him to beautiful music, books, and art. :)

:iagree:

[boscopup]

I agree with your plans. When my oldest was 4, he resisted anything resembling formal learning, but he picked up on everything and discussed a lot of things. By time he started K at school, he was reading at 2nd grade level and able to add, subtract, and soon figured out multiplication. He wasn't writing all the letters yet, so that's what he learned in K at school. Everything else, he knew. I don't at all regret not doing anything formal with him before K. He didn't need it, and he did better without it. Obviously we didn't stop learning, but just went more of an "unschooling" route. That's what he needed. The next year in K, he did fine in school, and when I pulled him in first grade, it was no problem to teach him formally. He wasn't ready at 4, but he was ready at 5.

 

Hit the library often, and read aloud a LOT. As he gets interested in reading books on his own, let him read! Talk about numbers as they come up, and let him go on those bunny trails (we once went into a bunny trail about negative numbers, and a couple years later, he still remembered how to add and subtract negative numbers from ONE little discussion where he had said you couldn't subtract 5 from 3, and I said actually you can and showed him on the number line what negative numbers were). We had soooooo many great van conversations about numbers. It was all child led. As he figured things out, I'd sometimes take him a little further. We didn't practice these things or do worksheets though. It was all oral, on the fly sort of stuff.

 

My middle child needs explicit instruction, so he does about like what your son does, when he feels like it. He'll be K next year also. My youngest is like my oldest, and I don't think I'll have to teach him anything for "K". If he does anything formal, it will be because he insists on having school like his big brothers.

[Mommy2BeautifulGirls]

I wouldn't "force" anything, but do keep your eyes open for boredom. My daughter used to be like that, but I eventually figured out a lot of it was boredom and the rest was perfectionism. I think she just got so used to things coming naturally, that when we finally reached her challenge level, she was mad that it was "hard." She would complain that her hands hurt, but then I would catch her writing stories a half hour later. :lol: It took a few years to get over that, and now the only time we have problems is when she gets into another boredom rut, but I know how to catch them early on and move onto more challenging things.

[ByGrace3]

relax on the curriculum, but keep teaching him in your own way.

 

:iagree: my 4 yo ds is showing signs of being ready for "more" yet he balks at anything formal. Our current solution? Lots of games, lots of read alouds, and starfall. He is not excited at all about OPGTR right now but will happily do Starfall. So that is what we are doing. My ds will also start k in the fall, and for us formalities will become slightly more important. We will do short lessons everyday in phonics, handwriting, and math. But, August is still 5 months away and that is a LONG time developmentally for a 4 yo.

 

So yes, definitely feel free to relax, but just because you aren't doing the curriculum doesn't mean you can't still be working on the skills.

 

Enjoy this time! :D

[pitterpatter]

My opinion differs from most. When I decided to start formal schooling with DD at 4 years, 4 months, that was it. There was no turning back. We do what is scheduled for the day. We don't quit just because one of us doesn't feel like doing something or is tired or whatever. If/When DD seems like she's no longer enjoying a subject/curriculum, I switch things up. When neither of us can stand something, we drop it for something else (this has only happened once). Or, we switch over to a supplemental curriculum for a month or so as a break. For example, we use HOP. After we completed HOP K, we jumped over to ETC 1 as a little something different. We finish that this week, so we'll be starting HOP 1 next week. I think consistency and high expectations are key to progress. I never say DD is only four, I say she is four! It amazes me what she is capable of. (She'll be five in a little over a month.) DD has always enjoyed school, but she's not a perfect pupil every day.

[G5052]

I was there over a decade ago. He was extremely active and unfocused. I was also very concerned about both our relationship and building good habits.

 

So I did very short lessons, with lots of review. I figured out when his best time of day was, and we did most of his lessons then. We worked a lot on our relationship, got a lot of exercise, and I threw away external expectations. When he disappointed me, there were consequences, but we moved on and didn't dwell on it.

 

He was a late reader and really didn't take off until late 2nd grade. And I was fine with that. I had him tested, and there was nothing obvious holding him back, so we kept on consistently. We did lots and lots of review and practice with phonics.

 

And high school is going beautifully. What you see at four is not what you'll see much later. Really.

[Tracy]

I think you should go with your gut. And honestly, since he has already had a taste of reading and has enjoyed it, he will likely ask for it again after a break.

[Dahliarw]

My son is almost exactly your son's age (he's a month younger than yours, 5 at the end of July). Right now he LOVES doing reading activities that are more tactile, so the Montessori moveable alphabet, sandpaper letters, etc. He also likes writing/copying word lists. For math, it's things with manipulatives (he's doing 4 digit addition like crazy using Montessori methods with the beads). But, he does get tired. For example, with math, if he's in the middle of a problem and gets worn out, he'll leave it, and go get something easier to do, and come back to it. Sometimes a bit of a break is what they need. And LOTS of hands on.

[warriormom]

When I hit a wall with reading instruction, my son would get upset when I corrected him. I used his stuffed puppy to be my teaching assistant. Puppy would correct mistakes which made everything much less stressful. I guess using a stuffed animal or puppet is similar to AAR pre-level with the Zebra puppet. The magic is not in the puppet but the light hearted manner of teaching.

 

For Math, I am starting Miquon which is more play/ discovery based math. HTH

[warriormom]

:) duplicate

[violingirl]

My personal philosophy with my boys is that up through 1st grade our primary goals are to learn how to read, how to form letters, and to develop a relationship with numbers. We do study other things too, but this is the primary objective for our family. My younger son is 4.5 (will turn 5 in July, so very close in age to your little guy) so I thought I'd share what we do. I also have a 6.5yo who is now a fluent reader and I did this same thing with him.

 

I plan to have 2-3 reading lessons per week, but if I meet any resistence at all we don't have anything resembling a reading lesson at all for a week or two.

 

Instead we turn to word games and literary things that lead him to read without feeling like he's "doing reading." I'll read to him and we make a contest of finding all of a certain word in a book- like all the "and"s or something like that. Or we might take turns reading sentences, or he reads just the first word of the sentence and I finish it up for him. We use our moveable alphabet to write silly sentences, one of us will think of a word and we take turns rhyming with it, we make signs for different places around the house (the sillier the better), we write jokes for Daddy to read later on, whatever engages him in words. He loves animals so we print out coloring pages for animals and he thinks of silly sentences to put underneath (DS2 happens to love to write so this is not hard for him- DS1 would NEVER have chosen to write anything at 4.5!).

 

Basically we do any activity that I can think of that is getting him to read without feeling like he's reading. And then we're usually good to pick up with another lesson after a bit of time off.

 

I do the same with math through Kindergarten- we have a lesson about once a week, but otherwise lots of time off to play with the concepts and develop a relationship with the material.

[pehp]

Thank you all so much.

 

I have been having thoughts of David and Micki Colfax lately; my subconscious is probably trying to clue me in on something.

 

Paula--love your advice! Violingirl--those are some really great ideas for wordplay, and I'm going to adopt them.

 

I plan to move to Miquon after the MUS primer is completed, and I do think it's going to be a nice approach for him.

 

Shelve it. Read books, look at worms and bees and flowers. Color pictures. Do delight driven interest led. Enjoy spending time together. Expose him to beautiful music, books, and art.

 

Relax. Educate yourself, read great books, brush up on your Shakespeare. You don't get a do over on four. Speaking from my limited experience and trying to push less and live in the moment with DD #2, who is four :)

 

Love this! (Especially b/c my son gave me a Worm Report on Sunday after helping daddy outside--my husband is building a cnc router machine in his spare time, and ds is observing it/playing nearby--and the Worm Report was just hysterically funny, and surprisingly accurate (in terms of their behavior, color, etc)....)

 

We do a lot of interest-driven stuff. He became obsessed w/ the puppet show scene from the sound of music (he hasn't seen the whole movie, he just likes the yodeling). So we are sewing marionette puppets out of socks and will soon paint canvas backdrops. After reading Miss Rumphius, he desperately wanted to plant lupine--so that's what we'll be doing later this week! After going to the airport, he wanted to build his own small luggage scanner--so we did (out of scraps). We do a lot of that. in fact I would say about 60% of my time is spent implementing his projects. It's really fun, they are things I never would have thought to do on my own. We have a fun relationship.

 

I think I am going to play shop, do more wordplay, and revisit OPGTR after Easter to see how it goes. And if it doesn't go, I'll wait until summer.

 

Another thing that keeps coming back to me (in addition to the Colfaxes) is that I know a woman whose children are amazingly successful now (they are grown or in late teens), all having found their (completely unique and unrelated!) vocations, aced their SAT/ACT scores, full-scholarships to college....her early approach was very, very relaxed--easy three Rs starting around age 5, continuing with only that until age 8, when they ramped it up more. Instead they just lived life--did projects, took trips, went on walks, listened to music, baked in the kitchen......

 

Oh, I'm feeling better already.

[Guest RachelFM]

My almost-5 daughter loves the abacus and 10-sided dice (we have them in ones, tens, hundreds, and thousands.) She actually prefers to do the answers on the abacus, as I think that handwriting and problem solving are two separate skillsets, and perfectionists can get bogged down. I also have her practice reading the numbers aloud to me (e.g., 3,587) after we've rolled the 10-dice, lined them up, and represented the number on the abacus.

 

We also often count by twos, threes, fives, tens, whatever when we're walking to/from errands.

 

I think that at this age, she realizes the vastness between her ability to comprehend and her ability to produce, and it must be so crazy-making to be able to have a whole novel inside you and still need prompts for writing your full name. I've found that I'm avoiding much of the angst by working on handwriting for handwriting's sake and then allowing her to express herself verbally or with manipulatives when actually learning new skills.