MeghanL Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 My gifted son is ADHD and is taking Adderall to help him with his impulse control & lack of focus. However, he is still having major social issues. He is 8 years old and we signed him up for an art class at the local museum. At the beginning of the class, they take a tour. My child got separated from the rest of the group 3 (!) times due to not being aware of where everyone else was. This is just one example. If we have friends over (which we do frequently) he will go into another room, even if he was enjoying the planned activity before anyone else arrived. I'm having a hard time figuring out a) what should my expectations be (is he just not a social kid) b) how much of his social issues are related to his known diagnosis (ADHD/Giftedness) c) Could he have Aspergers and d) what can I do to help him feel more comfortable in participating in social settings. Anyone been down this road before and can help? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mert Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 I don't think it's unusual for children with your son's dx to have trouble socially. Have you considered a social skills class or play group? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeghanL Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 I haven't heard of a social skills class or play group. Where would you find something like that? I am trying to get an appt with his pediatrician, but don't want to be re-hashing the problems I already know we have. It just seems that at some point it should get easier...you know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mert Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 We found ours through a psychologist's office. You could probably google it with your location or maybe the dr who diagnosed your son might know of something in your area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finnella Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 The only social issues for an ADHD child I've read about are problems from trying to hard to engage with other children, often the "H" part of them getting in the way. These is a big overlap with the ADHD diagnosis and Aspergers. Tony Attwood estimates that 75 percent of Aspies have ADHD as well. My DS was diagnosed as ADD in third grade and the Aspergers diagnosis was added in late fourth grade. The social groups we've done have been directed at Aspies and have been through the psychologist's office. Does your son seem to have any distress about wanting friends but not having them? Have you observed anything to indicate why he leaves the activities before the other kids arrive? He could be avoiding them because he needs those social skills or even because kids have bullied or teased him in the past for social awkwardness. However, it is quite possible that he's naturally introverted. Introverts need much less social interaction to be happy than extroverts do. A group or party situation is usually fun for the extroverts and horrid over stimulation for the introverts. And it's awful to be an introvert with parents trying to change you into an extrovert; it won't work. (I speak from experience.) If it turns out to be introversion, my therapist is touting the new book Quiet. It's on my to read list and talks about the positives of the introverted personality. I'm sorry I can't answer the question. I think you need to do some more digging about why he's that way. That may involve the psychologist again. And does your son enjoy one on one play with other children? If he's having difficulty there too, he's may be either painfully shy on top of being introverted or have the social awkwardness Aspies do. IMO, the museum thing was probably the poor impulse control of his ADHD. Why keep up with the group when what he was doing was more interesting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 I'm an introvert and while I like interacting with people one-on-one or in small group settings, I find larger groups overwhelming and physically draining of my energy. I was in a sorority and enjoyed being a member, but it was a small chapter and I tended to avoid the huge social events as much as I could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 I'm an introvert and while I like interacting with people one-on-one or in small group settings, I find larger groups overwhelming and physically draining of my energy. That's me also! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misty Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I wonder if he has any special interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus? That would be a big clue to Asperger's if he does. But not all Aspies will have this symptom.. Some will have repetitive or stereotypical behaviors and movements instead.. Some Aspies actually have both (like mine :tongue_smilie:).. They need one or the other to qualify for an Asperger's diagnosis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4peace Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I'd agree with the above posters that ASD is a possibility but only one. The ADHD or the giftedness alone could explain what you are seeing. While the Adderall can help attention, it won't put all the other executive function skills and social skills in place that go along with ADHD. Social skills classes may help, but so may detailed coaching before (and even during) events. Honestly, your museum description sounds more ADHD-like than anything else. Some gifted kids don't have the strongest "normal" social skills either but shine more brightly in that arena with other gifted kids. I don't think this a case of being "too good" to be with the others, just a case of being uninterested in some aspect of the play of the other child. I'd second introversion and add possibly sensory issues. Withdrawal is not a bad response to overload and a need to be alone, although it obviously isn't always the most appropriate one. Again, a bit of coaching or at least discussion about this issue may be needed. Asperger's is a possibility, but I'd not use intense interests as an indicator. Intense interests is common in gifted kids, and kids with ADHD may have a (often digital) interest that can be quite intense. It may be time to search for a psychologist who specializes in gifted kids to help you sort this out. Different Minds is an excellent book about the intersections between giftedness, ADHD, and ASD. It's worth a read while you're either watching, waiting, and coaching or awaiting an appointment for someone who specializes in these issues. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeghanL Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 Thank you everyone for the replies! I will be checking out the books recommended. We have quite a while to wait for the pediatrician appointment and then I imagine a longer wait for a specialist. It's just so frustrating! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Hey Meghan, what psych did you use for the ADHD diagnosis? Or was it totally done by symptoms by the ped? If you haven't done the neuropsych eval yet, you definitely want one. There are a couple really good neuropsychs in Columbus. Dr. Andrew Colvin and Dr. Stephen Guy are both very, very good. Dr. Colvin is a bit easier to get into. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandamom Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Nonverbal learning disorder can also be throw into the mixed with a similar range of issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atara Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 This may sound pretty radical, but I would get him off the drugs and not push any social skills/activites on him, other than the ones he is drawn to. I think there is way too much pressure on kids to be "social." Let him just be himself - and if that means wondering around the museum lost in thought and the wonder of it all - then so be it. Besides, I hate going places in groups. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mc26 Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I agree with what atara said about letting him be himself. I have a gifted Aspie with ADD and I really only put him in social situations where I know he will "succeed" for now. He is who he is. There are a few kids he enjoys doing things with, and we keep it to a specific activity (bowling, swimming). Once I adjusted my expectations about what he "can" and "can't" do, things have been going better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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