Alicia64 Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 (edited) We live in fairly upscale apts. Like any neighborhood some kids are great, some fine, some okay, and some really difficult. My boys were invited to a small bday party. They're not great friends w/ the boy -- let's call him Jim -- but they do play w/ Jim occasionally. Jim has a friend in the apts. who is seriously bad news. We'll call him Eddie. We've made it super clear to my boys that they're not allowed to play w/ Eddie. (We had it w/ needles in nerf guns, swear words and disgusting talk.) Jim's mom and I have had discussions in the past about how difficult Eddie is. But Jim's mom -- unlike me -- feels like she can't say "no" to the friendship even though it appears to concern her. Both Jim and Eddie ended up in the same after school day care (they're not hs). So her attitude is, "what can I do?!" (Btw, I've never even met Eddie's mom. The poor kid has very little parental interaction.) Just now -- after we RSVP'd "yes" to the invite -- Jim's mom told me that the party is expanding to include "some daycare kids and Eddie." Because we're not great friends w/ Jim, I'm just going to say to the mom that we'll send Jim a gift but won't be at the party. I'll say it way nicer than that, but that'll be the gist. I guess I'm just venting. It's really time that we move from the apts. We've stayed because it's convenient and they have a great pool. But the lack of boundaries and privacy is definitely an issue. Do you think I'm acting appropriately? Alley Edited March 15, 2012 by Alicia64 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Yes. If you are very concerned about Eddie, there's no reason not to politely decline the party invitation. It might be different if your boys were great friends with "Jim," but that doesn't seem to be the case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeetime Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Can you just attend the party as well, so you can be there in case there are any problems with the other boy? It seems a bit strange to me to not attend the little boy's birthday party, just because a difficult child will be there. Especially since you've already committed to attending. What exactly are you concerned will happen at the birthday party? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 If the party will be a free-for-all where there could be things like needles in nerf guns, then I would not go to the party. If the party will be well supervised and/or you could help supervise the activities too, then going for an hour or two doesn't seem too bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 Can you just attend the party as well, so you can be there in case there are any problems with the other boy? You would totally think that this would be an answer to the Eddie problem, but would you believe this kid will stand four feet away from me and discuss the most disgusting things w/ a group of boys circling him? That used to be our plan: heavy supervision. We finally just gave up and said, "you can't be around him." He almost seems to get a laugh out of "kissing up" to the parents and then turning right around and saying something entirely inappropriate. (The last straw was when he went into great detail about his dog getting Flo.) Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 If the party will be a free-for-all where there could be things like needles in nerf guns, then I would not go to the party. If the party will be well supervised and/or you could help supervise the activities too, then going for an hour or two doesn't seem too bad. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 You would totally think that this would be an answer to the Eddie problem, but would you believe this kid will stand four feet away from me and discuss the most disgusting things w/ a group of boys circling him? That used to be our plan: heavy supervision. We finally just gave up and said, "you can't be around him." He almost seems to get a laugh out of "kissing up" to the parents and then turning right around and saying something entirely inappropriate. (The last straw was when he went into great detail about his dog getting Flo.) Alley I know a kid like Eddie, and I don't want my ds anywhere near him, so I absolutely understand why you don't want your boys to attend the party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 I know a kid like Eddie, and I don't want my ds anywhere near him, so I absolutely understand why you don't want your boys to attend the party. I love you Cat. It's hard to explain how "off" this kid is -- and, no, I don't think Jim's mom will supervise well. On top of that it gives my boys a strange message when we've told them repeatedly not to play w/ Eddie. . . and then let him go to a bday party w/ him. One of my boys is okay w/ Eddie. But my more sensitive boy feels bullied by him. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeetime Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 (edited) You would totally think that this would be an answer to the Eddie problem, but would you believe this kid will stand four feet away from me and discuss the most disgusting things w/ a group of boys circling him? That used to be our plan: heavy supervision. We finally just gave up and said, "you can't be around him." He almost seems to get a laugh out of "kissing up" to the parents and then turning right around and saying something entirely inappropriate. (The last straw was when he went into great detail about his dog getting Flo.) Alley Ah. So essentially, adult presence doesn't curb his behavior. Lovely. In that case I see why you wouldn't want to attend, but I would make a point of not just sending, but *taking* a nice gift personally to the birthday boy the day before and telling him that you're oh so sorry that you won't be able to make it to his party. ;) Edited March 15, 2012 by Coffeetime sp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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