LisaKinVA Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 DD10 has been swimming for almost 2 years. A friend of hers is on the same team, and they are in GS together. Her friend has been swimming 4 years. DD works hard. She's no swimming master. She works h.a.r.d. DD got her first B time 2 weeks ago. She got her 2nd on Saturday and just missed another one. She tells her friend...friend's mother steps in and says, "Well, X has gotten so many BB's, I've just lost count" :confused: Well, great for friend! Just once, can't my dd be proud of something she worked hard to achieve? She got a B time. She's not claiming to be heading to the Olympics. She just was excited, and talking to her friend who is also on her team. Today, in other conversations, 4 other mothers who had daughter's swimming with my dd ... we all congratulated the girls on their achievements. Praised them for their hard work, and wished the ones who made BB cuts an awesome meet next week. Why can't friend's mom just say, "That's great! I know you've been working hard." Is it really THAT tough? And USA swim moms, don't forget that Deck Pass can search times...by anyone. Hmmm, maybe friend's mom doesn't know about Deck Pass, and the lack of any record of BB times for her dd as a 9-10. She does have a couple of B's though...;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Way to go for your hard working daughter! :party::hurray::party: (BTW - what is "B" and "BB" in swimming?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 The mom is just over competitive. She views you and your daughter as competition. You shouldn't expect anything out of her! :grouphug: :iagree: Sorry the OP's daughter was put down by a grown (immature) adult. Sheesh. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Why can't friend's mom just say, "That's great! I know you've been working hard." Is it really THAT tough? She is a sour person and it probably has nothing to do with your daughter. My mother was on the shy side until she felt "I like you" or at least "I am polite" vibes from someone else. The people who upset her the most were the "cutter-downers". I recall when my mother had moved and knew almost no one and had just finished her very first quilt (a king sized and very complex one ... I have it now). She around 70 and it was a big deal to her. She dared to show it to a neighbor, who lunged forward to ONE piece that was slightly faded compared to the other 250 pieces. "Look , you made a mistake." I met that lady. She didn't mean to be evil, she was just a cutter downer. I feel sorry for those people, and their husbands, too. It isn't that it is TOUGH, it is that she has a habit, and one that alienates people. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I hate competitive parenting. Sorry you're having to endure such an unbearable mother! I try to have an answer in my back pocket if I start hearing stuff like that from another parent. Especially in front of my kids. Something like "yes, hard work sure can pay off!". ROFL on looking up her times. I would totally do that. Just shows this mother needs to pump herself up. Chalk it up as a lack of self esteem and confidence and the need to live vicariously through her child's (imagined) achievements. Feel sorry for her! Hooray for your daughter by the way! Good for her! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Oops - posted twice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Congrats to your dd. As for that other mom, as a pp said, it probably has nothing at all to do with your dd and everything to do with her own issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeslieAnneLevine Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I met that lady. She didn't mean to be evil, she was just a cutter downer. I feel sorry for those people, and their husbands, too. It isn't that it is TOUGH, it is that she has a habit, and one that alienates people. :grouphug: Yes, the people who always see the hole, never the doughnut. That's definitely a possibility. Or she goes through life making others feel like less so she can feel like more (and it's really sad when someone does that through their child). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeslieAnneLevine Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Congrats to your dd. As for that other mom, as a pp said, it probably has nothing at all to do with your dd and everything to do with her own issues. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZooRho Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 BLEAH BLEAH BLEAH. Swimmer mom here too. Honestly we have had a family that has "competed" my my swimmer since they were SEVEN. well at least mine, they had one a year older and one a year younger. there was a time I was fearful for my son's safety around this family. RIDICULOUS. and yes I have had that mom make snide remarks around me about my child. I'm so sorry you are dealing with that. What I love about swimming is EACH CHILD can make the sport his/hers. They can improve their own times. Yes there is the competative edge but it can be great for each one. SO congrats on the new times for your swimmer girl. and keep it up. Yeap those that are great at 10 aren't always around at 18. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swimtaxi234 Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 BIG CLAPS to your daughter. Boo-hiss to that other family. I remember when my children got their first B times. It was a big deal to a young swimmer and I was there with my camera to capture it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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