UmMusa Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 The past couple of weeks I've felt like I've just had enough of a couple of my kids at school. They are fine outside of school time, but the attitude, resistance, and moaning are all getting to me. I'm actually wondering if it's homeschooling that is getting me in this funk with my stress, my husband, and my perception of being taken advantage of (underappreciated). It's hard when I'm not sure what is causing my funk, but DH was asking me if I think it's the homeschooling causing all this negativity in me. It's my 2nd year. Theoretically, I LOVE homeschooling. I like to make and do. I like to provide the atmosphere I want my kids to imitate rather than fret over them while they're in PS 8 hours a day. But there is now reisitance to me. ME. They cop the attitude when it's ME who is teaching or guiding. DD9 admitted it is when I have to tell her anything. Well... ya... I am going to talk about the history chapter you just read, and I AM going to tell you how to improve your narration of it. And I AM going to show you your decimal misplacement on your math sheet too! Two things I'm wondering: 1) is it a homeschool issue? 2) is it an age/stage issue that I will have to deal with even if they do go off to public school; it'll just be after school and in the evenings when we're all already tired. What do you think? Part of me wonders if this is just part of their growing up and trying to gain their independence or if it's part of a clash of the homeschool personalities. My original reason to h/s was to provide a more wholesome environment than they were getting at school. I wanted to have more religion in our day and more of our values be considered the norm rather than have them struggle over choosing their identity. However, if homeschooling is going to make mommy hate them and them hate mommy, then I'm willing to risk what they might pick up as long as I can stay after it. Advice? How do you know when to quit and when to stick it out? (i wouldn't quit right now, but i mean for next year) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 (edited) Never, ever, ever , ever make homeschooling decisions in February. It just is not wise. Wait until May or June, or perhaps September, when you have had a rest. We all hate homeschooling in Feb. And even a bit more in March....just sayin' Faithe PS...about the kid issue...they hate being told they are wrong about anything....tough tarts. It is what it is and children need to get used to it...without the attitude. Bad attitude, is bad behavior, pure and simple. Teach them to say, "Thank you Mamma". When you teach them something. "Thank you, Mamma". When you correct their math, " Thank you, Mamma". When you correct a narration.....and attitude of gratitude will take them far. I don't allow stink eye, or bad attitudes...theirs or my own. Faithe Edited February 18, 2012 by Mommyfaithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 It's hard when I'm not sure what is causing my funk, It's the February blues. Are you getting enough vit. D? Are you taking good care of your nutrition and are you getting good sleep? This is not to be dismissive of any domestic issues that you may be having. It just seems to be a pattern that I've noticed. February rolls around and everything seems so daunting. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Never, ever, ever , ever make homeschooling decisions in February. It just is not wise. Wait until May or June, or perhaps September, when you have had a rest. We all hate homeschooling in Feb. And even a bit more in March....just sayin' Faithe We just posted at the same time with the same conclusion. Weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 I had a feeling that would be one of the first replies I got! The February thing. Ok, I'll wait it out. I just feel like I don't wanna do this anymore :( But I do... just not with meanie kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Never, ever, ever , ever make homeschooling decisions in February. It just is not wise. Wait until May or June, or perhaps September, when you have had a rest. We all hate homeschooling in Feb. And even a bit more in March....just sayin' :iagree::iagree::001_smile: It sounds to me like a rough patch, but only you know for certain if your kids would truly be better at public school. It also sounds to me like disrespect; whether they like being instructed by you or not, disrespect won't fly. Period. Especially at age 9 (I have a 9 year old also). It's a slippery slope, IMO. They need to respect what you're doing for them, the sacrifices and effort you make, and if they can't respect you, they need to fake it til they make it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 But about the vitamins... I'm taking iron, vit D, a special multi, and I do have regular sleep at night. I get a couple of hours to myself on weekends. I just feel like I've had enough of their moods, their questions, and their wanting to butt into my conversations and stuff. (I feel so guilty even writing this down) I try to let them cook and make stuff in the kitchen, but today DD broke TWO different items (glass), they drip or spill ingredients and wipe up as best as they can which is not how I will leave the kitchen, and they still need supervision which I am not free to do every time they feel like cooking. Again, I love the idea of homeschool and hands on, but when it comes down to me being there with my four kids I can't handle it. They all want to talk my ears off all day long, and they keep interrupting each other. How do you people keep your heads on right!?!?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 But about the vitamins... I'm taking iron, vit D, a special multi, and I do have regular sleep at night. I get a couple of hours to myself on weekends. I just feel like I've had enough of their moods, their questions, and their wanting to butt into my conversations and stuff. (I feel so guilty even writing this down) I try to let them cook and make stuff in the kitchen, but today DD broke TWO different items (glass), they drip or spill ingredients and wipe up as best as they can which is not how I will leave the kitchen, and they still need supervision which I am not free to do every time they feel like cooking. Again, I love the idea of homeschool and hands on, but when it comes down to me being there with my four kids I can't handle it. They all want to talk my ears off all day long, and they keep interrupting each other. How do you people keep your heads on right!?!?!? I only have two kids, so take what I say with a grain of salt. Do you have quiet time every day? If not, I recommend it: 1-2 hours of total silence. I don't do it every day (in fact, thinking we need to get back to it) but when we do, my kids read, draw, write in their journal, sometimes listen to music on headphones, occasionally do math games on the computer, watch documentaries on netflix (this is really great-educational AND no talking!) I don't think 2 hours on the weekend alone is sufficient quiet time, to be honest. I only have two, and I need at least an hour a day of alone time, workout, whatever and at least 2-3 hours of quiet time over the weekend (I define quiet time as nobody bothering me and keeping their voices and mess to a minimum). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 I did used to have quiet time back when I had two kids and a baby, aka... YEARS ago. Once schoolwork is done for the day the kids are allowed to use their one hour of gaming time. Usually DS runs to the xbox, one DD goes to the computer, and the third child goes to my laptop. I sometimes lie down in my room, browse internet or nap. Other days the weather is nice and everyone wants to play outside, so I have to keep an eye out especially if the 3yr old goes out. Add dinner making, dishes, and tae kwon do.. well, it just never ends. I'm in a constant state of doing stuff. All that seems fine and dandy, but I think I'm resenting DH coming home, eating dinner, and taking it easy all night on the couch till he goes to sleep. He's not an awful guy; but this is where I feel like I"m putting in so much effort (and gladly so, they're my children), but that it is more me and less him. He admits he parents differently than I do, that we choose differently in many things. So it drives me nuts and makes me feel like 'well of course you're "set" b/c I'm doing all the hard work and you feel comfortable that your children are well taken care of.' Other days I think that if I could just exercise for thirty minutes a day all my problems would be solved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 A couple of times in the last year I have had to be the meanie: I get down on his level, speak in a very quiet rage and inform him I will NOT take any carp. I think it tends to seep in a little at a time. Kid gets away with some foot dragging or excuses to get out of work. Kiddo gets territorial about me pointing at something on the page with my (gasp!) finger and pulls book away. I now nip it right in the bud. I warn him about "attitude" and he starts to lose things he really likes early on. This has worked. I've had two show-downs and only one thing actually taken away. He is much more charming to be with during school, now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommy4ever Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Hehe.. I'm right with you! I am overwhelmed by bad attitudes, too. I am schooling 2, 12 and 8, and care for a 4, 3, 2 and under 1yo. It's hectic, it's crazy. Here are some things to consider. Just because they want to cook, doesn't mean they get to. If getting good attitude is a challenge, use the cooking/baking as reward for positive behaviors. Set aside 2 potential times to do so. If the attitudes don't improve, they have until the next set time. If not oh well. No rewards for negative behavior. I totally know what it's like. I sit here thinking, wonder if she's par to go to school next year. But I recall, I did this last year too. Last year I had a 'meeting' with the kids. I gave them my expectations. Low and behold in 2 months, not only did we catch up, but finished early. Crazy, I know! But we survived the year and essentially had 4 months of summer vacation to do what ever. :lol: I am thinking, I need to have that talk again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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