AuntieM Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 The only mental issue that makes sense to me is one that causes him to eliminate his wife - and only his wife - from his memory bank. This has to be combined with some protective/avoidance behavior as well, because if he could remember his home, where he visits his children, but not his wife, wouldn't he return home and just be surprised to find a strange woman there? No, he is definitely avoiding his wife with purpose (whether or not he is aware he is doing so). Osmosis Mom, I am sorry, but I personally do not think there is a bona fide psychological diagnosis for this. Unless there's a million dollar term for superlative prideful stubbornness. I know you and your friend are sincerely hoping there's an underlying medical issue at the root of his behavior, but it seems far-fetched. Hoping you'll come back in a few weeks and share with us a legitimate and fascinating case study, and that your friends may find peace and fulfillment in their marriage.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I think they should go to therapy. (Just kidding...:D) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Come on, ladies. I was asking for a brainstorming on what might cause such amnesia on the assumption that he is not lying. Sorry to have joked about the situation, but honestly, if this has been going on for a while, and the guy hasn't had a ton of medical testing to find out what's happening inside his head, something isn't adding up. And if your friend hasn't forced the issue by now, I can't help but wonder why not. I realize that you know these people, but if you put yourself in our positions, where we only know what you've told us about them, wouldn't you be asking the same questions we are? Wouldn't you have similar suspicions? Wouldn't you wonder what was wrong with the wife for not insisting that the husband seek immediate medical attention when he developed his amnesia? I'm not trying to be snarky -- I'm just trying to explain why I have responded to this thread as I have, and why others may have reacted similarly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Very intelligent people can do bad things. This doesn't fit a pattern of amnesia that I remember. It's too selective. If he isn't willing to be worried about it and look for help then I would guess their marriage will remain like this. The only mental issue that makes sense to me is one that causes him to eliminate his wife - and only his wife - from his memory bank. This has to be combined with some protective/avoidance behavior as well, because if he could remember his home, where he visits his children, but not his wife, wouldn't he return home and just be surprised to find a strange woman there? No, he is definitely avoiding his wife with purpose (whether or not he is aware he is doing so). Osmosis Mom, I am sorry, but I personally do not think there is a bona fide psychological diagnosis for this. Unless there's a million dollar term for superlative prideful stubbornness. I know you and your friend are sincerely hoping there's an underlying medical issue at the root of his behavior, but it seems far-fetched. Hoping you'll come back in a few weeks and share with us a legitimate and fascinating case study, and that your friends may find peace and fulfillment in their marriage.... :iagree:with both the above. Sorry, but it's so selective, and he's still able to be at work, etc...it just doesn't make any sense. A medical issue wouldn't have him 'forgetting' just one particular area of his life, it would be more encompassing than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 He would only be unaware of the original reason for the fight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 He would only be unaware of the original reason for the fight. Well, then, to me this is not ammesia or even a 'medical' problem. I think he has some serious anger & control issues; psych counseling would be a good first start (along w/ some meds, probably). However, he's probably quite entrenched in his behaviors, his wife has put up w/ his emotional abuse for a long time, & their kids are reaping the unfortunate rewards of these behaviors. The guy needs serious conseling, imo. Your friend does too. Sounds like they are in an unhealthy, codependent relationship & either need to take steps to correct it or decide to go their separate ways. I'm really sorry for your friend. I hope she decides to get counseling, even if her dh does not. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 He would only be unaware of the original reason for the fight. Could it be that he just forgot because so much time has passed? I can see this on a smaller scale, such as "I remember dh and I argued last week, but can't even remember what it was about now", but for him to stay away for months, and then claim to not remember what caused him to leave is beyond strange. Do encourage a nuerologist visit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 He would only be unaware of the original reason for the fight. It's a bad situation for sure. Does he do it often? It has to be tough on the kids. Putting the "amnesia" issue aside, why does she tolerate him leaving for months at a time and then coming home whenever he feels like it? I don't understand. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but it seems like this "amnesia" is the least of her problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southernm Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Could he have split personality disorder, anger blackouts, or be bi-polar? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 He would only be unaware of the original reason for the fight. Yet aware there was *something* that caused him to act this way towards his wife? Still not buying it as a bona fide disorder... it lacks consistency. If he couldn't remember the fight, why would he remember not wanting to talk to his wife (which he is acting upon by not returning home). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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