need a kick in the pants... wanna help?

[GingerPoppy]

So, today I'm just feeling so sorry for myself. You know, the usual type of boring stuff... just wishing certain things were different in my life... stupidly comparing myself with my sisters, one of whom has such beautiful things, the other who just landed a jackpot, so to speak. I shouldn't compare. I have many wonderful things in my life (and some not so great of course). I have shelter (even though now that I got my piano back this year AND there's a tree up, I can barely walk in my tiny living room). I have a daughter and pets that I love. I have food and things that I need, and I have some lovely things to decorate my house. I have a car (although it is falling apart day by day). I have parents who care about me (although I went over to help my dad with a big task yesterday, and he yelled in my face because he was stressed and I got in his way... he did apologize later, but it hurts.) And there are more good things, and more things that hurt--but I don't really want to say all of them on a public forum. Oh, and we were fostering a kitten this week that we had to give to its new owners this morning, but we had already fallen in love. :(

 

I guess I'm just having a bad day. I'm not usually like this. I'm tempted, since my daughter's out of the house, to just indulge this feeling and have a glass of wine and a good, long cry, and feel sorry for myself all afternoon. But I know deep down it's wrong of me. So many people are suffering in horrible ways; I should just give thanks.

 

So, do I allow myself to wallow? Or do you all want to give me a good kick in the pants?

Edited December 17, 2011 by GingerPoppy

[Dana]

I give you permission to wallow.

 

Sure, there's a ton to be grateful for. But I think it's also good to be able to feel down for a bit. We've got a ton of things to be grateful for, but we've also got a lot of stressors going on in our life right now (family illness - inlaws).

 

Don't just bottle up your feelings. You feel sad right now & that's okay. Feel it while it's safe to express it - give yourself the hour or two to be glum and throw a pity party and temper tantrum, and then move on (kick).

 

Hope you feel better.

:grouphug:

[SJ.]

Acknowledge and honor your feelings without judgment. Do what feels good right now and if that means wine and a cry then do it! I hope you feel better soon :grouphug:

[ThisIsTheDay]

:grouphug: I won't kick you in the pants (!), but there's no point in wallowing.

 

Your life sounds pretty good. Would you really trade anything with your sisters? Your space is tight because you have a piano and a tree? You have a daughter with you that means more than anyone to you in the world, you have food and you have a car (for now). Your parents are close by, try to be supportive, and you see them often. AND you were able to enjoy fostering that kitty, blessing its permanent owner!

 

I'm a glass-half-full person. Okay, I'm a Pollyanna. This life isn't "perfect," but it's mine. I wouldn't trade it for anyone else's--ever.

 

Have a brief pity party tonight if it will make you feel better. Invite your three besties ("me, myself, and I"), drink wine, share chocolate. Don't waste an entire portion of a day though. Put the blahs behind you, and embrace the rest of your weekend!!

 

 

:grouphug: :cheers2: :grouphug:

Edited December 19, 2011 by ThisIsTheDay

[Rosie_0801]

I grant permission to wallow until you hear your daughter coming in the door. Sometimes we need to wallow and guilting over it only prolongs the process. Do it properly and get it over with :P

 

:grouphug:

Rosie

[GingerPoppy]

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. It might sound silly, but I really needed those words. I did my big wallow and am doing ok. I still feel down, but at least it's better.

[Joyofsixreboot]

My personal limit~I get three hours of wallowing or brooding(this can include wine, chocolate, bubble baths, crying or any mixture of these) then it's time to buck up. Past three hours it crosses into pouting for me :tongue_smilie:. Seriously, you feel what you feel. Really feel it and then consciously move on.:grouphug:

[amyable]

A good cry always makes me feel better - I think half the time my need to wallow is hormonal or chemical and I just need that release.

 

That being said, I think sometimes what people (maybe women more than men?) just need someone to *listen* and sympathize/empathize with them. Someone who can say, "Wow, I'm sorry - I can see how that would hurt. Want to bake some cookies together and you can tell me all about it?" :) Yeah, I know people in my life that would never stop complaining given the chance, and I don't mean one should be like *that*, but I know for me and many women I've met, they just need to be heard so they can move on, stronger than before. I say this as someone who does not have this in my life, and I can feel it's lack. (As can anyone who ever read my blog where I wallow like a champion pig, lol!)