Does this sound weird to you?

[Julpost]

My 7yo dd came home wearing an unfamiliar watch today. She told me her substitute bus driver gave it to her because it was too small for him.

 

I feel very odd about it. Frankly, I wonder if he's some pedophile creep. There, I said it. I don't have time to beat around the bush and be civil tonight.

 

Am I being paranoid? After reading about the 9yo on the subway blog today, I've been thinking I tend to err on the side of fear and paranoia. It is destroying my freedom. BUT, isn't it weird, that he would pick out my dd to give this watch to? And why would he do that? Doesn't he need to be concentrating on his job? He's a sub, he doesn't know her, and I'm assuming he's unfamiliar w/ the route to some degree...since he's not the regular driver.

 

I'm tempted to drive the kids to school and back everyday next week. It wouldn't hurt and then we're back to homeschooling next fall anyway. Or am I over-reacting?? I just can't see how this is anywhere near normal.

[wagnfun]

My 7yo dd came home wearing an unfamiliar watch today. She told me her substitute bus driver gave it to her because it was too small for him.

 

I feel very odd about it. Frankly, I wonder if he's some pedophile creep. There, I said it. I don't have time to beat around the bush and be civil tonight.

 

Am I being paranoid? After reading about the 9yo on the subway blog today, I've been thinking I tend to err on the side of fear and paranoia. It is destroying my freedom. BUT, isn't it weird, that he would pick out my dd to give this watch to? And why would he do that? Doesn't he need to be concentrating on his job? He's a sub, he doesn't know her, and I'm assuming he's unfamiliar w/ the route to some degree...since he's not the regular driver.

 

I'm tempted to drive the kids to school and back everyday next week. It wouldn't hurt and then we're back to homeschooling next fall anyway. Or am I over-reacting?? I just can't see how this is anywhere near normal.

 

Is she the only one on the bus at any time?:confused:

[swellmomma]

if he had it sitting on the dash or something she may have said something about it. My dd is often given things because she takes notice of things, so for example if the driver had it on the handle as he opened and closed doors she might have noticed it and asked why it was there, in which case the driver might have said it's too small you may as well take it. or something like that. You would never imagine allt he stuff dd comes home with when we are out, or when she goes to grandma's work etc.

[caitlinsmom]

Hmmm my first thought is did your dd steal it? I dont mean that meanly or rude AT ALL, just from experiance with 5 younger sibs they were all "given" things by teachers, friends, ect when come to find out they took them and were embarrased.

 

2nd thought is ewwwww I would be totally weirded out by the bus driver if he did do it. I would drive them myself. I wouldnt take any chances

[Pegasus]

Yes, it is weird. Is there any chance your DD found the watch and told the story about it being a gift? I would definitely be weirded out if a sub driver really gave it to her.

 

When I was in elementary school, our regular bus driver was fired. He walked onto the bus after school one day when our new driver was off the bus (I don't know where he was, now that I think about it, probably distracted talking to other bus drivers on the playground), asked who wanted to ride home with him, and instead of taking the kids home, he took them to a park. I don't think anyone was actually hurt but the potential for danger was huge! My best friend at the time had raised her hand, wanting to go with him and I jerked her arm down hard and said no way. She thanked me later when she found out that he didn't actually drive the kids home.

 

Hope you find out what is going on.

 

Pegasus

[newbie]

Julpost,

 

I think you can never be too paranoid about your child.

 

Jeannette

[Laurie4b]

That was my first thought, too--that she found it or stole it, but either way, wanted to make it sound more legitimately hers. It's an unlikely story.

 

If it is true, I would be concerned that it was grooming behavior.

 

I would tell dd that you've not heard of a bus driver giving one kid on the bus a gift and you find that rather odd. See if she changes the story in any way. If not, then I'd ask the bus driver, or call the school and ask them to ask.

[beansprouts]

If it is true, I would be concerned that it was grooming behavior.

 

 

 

Uh-huh. Big red flag issue for me. I would explore it further.

[Whisperlily]

I don't know... I think I'd need to see him in action with kids to know whether I'd be concerned.

 

If my DH knew he was going to be around kids, I could see him picking up a too-small watch, or trinket item, taking it with him that day, thinking.... "I'll bet one of the kids would like this."

 

Sad if it were misconstrued into something, when it might have been simply an item he thought "some child" might enjoy.

 

And then again, it could completely be a "grooming" type situation. It could be that he's a creep. Without seeing him, or having any other information, you just can't tell.

 

I'd keep my eyes and ears open, for sure. Maybe call the bus garage, and mention that you thought it was a nice idea, but found it slightly odd, and wanted to make sure there weren't any complaints, or concerns about the driver before allowing her to keep the watch?

[Remudamom]

I would go straight to the driver and ask him "What the &^$&???"

[fivetails]

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that I think the jump from the guy giving her an old watch that didn't fit to him grooming her/the whole pedophile thing is a bit of a large leap at this point.

 

You're concerned, so ask for some more details - if your child actually 'found' the watch somewhere and made the story up (always possible - been there!) so she could keep it, that'll come out pretty quick. If there's a plausible explanation - like swellmomma mentioned above, your dd seeing it and commenting, etc - that'll also come across. Then, there's also the fact that the bus driver may just be a nice guy who didn't need it and gave it away - something I've done myself more than once. Kinda like whisperlily said, about thinking "some kid might like this little /whatever/" rather than tossing it.

 

My dd11 also 'gets stuff' - she's the kind of child who notices and comments on things a lot and yep, people give her things. Just the other day she came home with a bunch of cat ornaments given to her by the mother of a boy down the street - the mom was 'spring cleaning' and knew that dd11 loves cats. Nothing sinister, just a lady who knew they'd be enjoyed by my dd. :)

 

eh, I don't know - I just think that sometimes we can fall into the trap of seeing evil everywhere.... yes, it's out there - and being cautious is good....but.....a world where everyone views everyone else with suspicion all of the time isn't very comfortable either, y'know?

 

I'd talk with your dd and look for more details.

[jmgconner]

This sends up my big red flags. I would be on the phone to the school by now to get the whole story. I know fivetails mentioned a neighbor incident, but in my mind, they are quite different. The bus driver is in a position of authority, employed by the school. A neighbor giving my child a gift of this nature wouldn't bother me. I don't see doom and gloom everywhere, but as a former school teacher, I also know how bus drivers should conduct themselves, and this is not appropriate.

[Quiver0f10]

One of my extended family members was molested by a bus driver and no one knew until years later. The bus driver was the nicest person blah blah. I would check out the story and be very carfeul.