Ginevra Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I realize this isn't the most earth-shattering problem to have in the world, but I'm so annoyed with myself. Dh is in business with BIL and my SIL and I do the office work. We go to dinner around Christmas every year. We also include another BIL and SIL, who are in the same field, but have their own company. We were trying to decide last week where we wanted to go, when my dh said he wasn't keen on going to Restaurant A, because he didn't wish to drive down into the city. So, some other options were considered, but we didn't arrive at a choice just then. Later, though, dh said he wasn't really against Restaurant A, it was just that he personally didn't want to drive downtown, but if someone else wanted to drive, that would be okay. So, I told SIL, who was planning to make reservations, "Dh doesn't mind the city so much, he just doesn't personally want to drive." She said, "Oh, C can drive. Would he mind the city if C drives?" I said, no, he doesn't mind, he just doesn't want to drive. So, she made reservations in the city, but at a different restaurant that we were not considering before. Dh and I really dislike this restaurant! The food is fine; we are against it on principle. It is a posh place that's known for its $50 steaks. Dh and I both feel that the place is just an overpriced racket. :glare: I feel like we have to go along with it, though, because I had already told SIL that dh didn't much care where we went, just that he didn't want to drive downtown. But that was when we thought it was going to be restaurant A downtown. Should I just keep my trap shut and order soup because I resent $50 steaks? Should I just look at the bright side and be happy we can afford overpriced meat? :tongue_smilie: Should I say we weren't keen to go there and would really like to go somewhere else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I'd speak up. Say what you wrote here. There is still time to adjust, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I realize this isn't the most earth-shattering problem to have in the world, but I'm so annoyed with myself. Dh is in business with BIL and my SIL and I do the office work. We go to dinner around Christmas every year. We also include another BIL and SIL, who are in the same field, but have their own company. We were trying to decide last week where we wanted to go, when my dh said he wasn't keen on going to Restaurant A, because he didn't wish to drive down into the city. So, some other options were considered, but we didn't arrive at a choice just then. Later, though, dh said he wasn't really against Restaurant A, it was just that he personally didn't want to drive downtown, but if someone else wanted to drive, that would be okay. So, I told SIL, who was planning to make reservations, "Dh doesn't mind the city so much, he just doesn't personally want to drive." She said, "Oh, C can drive. Would he mind the city if C drives?" I said, no, he doesn't mind, he just doesn't want to drive. So, she made reservations in the city, but at a different restaurant that we were not considering before. Dh and I really dislike this restaurant! The food is fine; we are against it on principle. It is a posh place that's known for its $50 steaks. Dh and I both feel that the place is just an overpriced racket. :glare: I feel like we have to go along with it, though, because I had already told SIL that dh didn't much care where we went, just that he didn't want to drive downtown. But that was when we thought it was going to be restaurant A downtown. Should I just keep my trap shut and order soup because I resent $50 steaks? Should I just look at the bright side and be happy we can afford overpriced meat? :tongue_smilie: Should I say we weren't keen to go there and would really like to go somewhere else? I'd see if she'd be willing to change the restaurant, especially since it isn't the one you were considering. I'd probably say something to the effect of, "Oh wow, I didn't think we were considering C. Is there any chance we can change the reservations back to A? We really don't care for C personally. I'd have said something earlier, but I didn't think they were in the running." It's worth a try. I'd never pay that much for a steak either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I say just leave it. It's not worth the bother or possible problems with your sil. If I were her and you asked for a change in restaurant, I would get peeved and probably tell you that you should have picked if you were just going to end up complaining about what I chose after saying that you didn't have a preference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgialee Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 Do you SIL & BIL really want to go to that restaurant? If they do I would just suck it up and enjoy a really yummy $50 steak (and then be thankful you can make the same thing at home for $8...). If they're open to a change then I would just say what you've said here - that $50 for a steak is a rip-off! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I say just leave it. It's not worth the bother or possible problems with your sil. If I were her and you asked for a change in restaurant, I would get peeved and probably tell you that you should have picked if you were just going to end up complaining about what I chose after saying that you didn't have a preference. Yep this, :glare: My favorite motto when it comes to these types of things is "lead, follow, or get out of the way". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I'd see if she'd be willing to change the restaurant, especially since it isn't the one you were considering. I'd probably say something to the effect of, "Oh wow, I didn't think we were considering C. Is there any chance we can change the reservations back to A? We really don't care for C personally. I'd have said something earlier, but I didn't think they were in the running." It's worth a try. I'd never pay that much for a steak either. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I'd see if she'd be willing to change the restaurant, especially since it isn't the one you were considering. I'd probably say something to the effect of, "Oh wow, I didn't think we were considering C. Is there any chance we can change the reservations back to A? We really don't care for C personally. I'd have said something earlier, but I didn't think they were in the running." It's worth a try. I'd never pay that much for a steak either. Since it's so expensive, I would say something. I like a nice restaurant meal, but $50 for a place I don't like. No way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krista in LA Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 I say just leave it. It's not worth the bother or possible problems with your sil. If I were her and you asked for a change in restaurant, I would get peeved and probably tell you that you should have picked if you were just going to end up complaining about what I chose after saying that you didn't have a preference. :iagree: Not worth ruffling any feathers over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Okay, it's played out now. Here's the recap: I did e-mail her back (only her, not the others attending) with something similar to suggested here, "I didn't realize you were considering Restaurant B. Dh and I are not fans." Her response back was (paraphrased) "Sorry. (But I'm not planning to change it)." I said back that I'd really like to consider a different restaurant, since we have ample time to reconsider and wouldn't it be much nicer for us all to be happy with the place? Her response back to that seemed angry (knowing her as I do) with a "Fine. You change it, then." At this point, I decided to call her (and that's even though I am one of those phone phobics from the thread the other day). My history with her tells me it is better to go directly to her with, "I don't want any bad feelings over this..." then it is to act like I didn't notice her passive aggression. So, it's sorta smoothed over and we're going someplace else, which I arranged. I don't think she's terribly happy, but she also went to lengths to say she wasn't mad, so even if she is mad, she can't really say so. ;) I'm glad I did it. You know, I'm always "go along to get along" girl. Why should I suffer along with something that doesn't work for me, especially when the resolution is really quite simple. There are hundreds of restaurants that we can all potentially love; why should we waste our only annual dinner somewhere I don't want to be? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 :iagree: We call them, "Steak on a Plate" restaurants. Because that is all you get. For $50 a head. This is a hill worth dying on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 :iagree: We call them, "Steak on a Plate" restaurants. Because that is all you get. For $50 a head. This is a hill worth dying on. :lol: That was pretty much what I said to her! Not that I've never eaten an expensive meal before, but for money like that I want Scallops Fettucini in a Lemon-Truffle Sauce or something. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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