Night Elf Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 My mom came over today. She was excited to show us her new car. I'm not surprised, really. They barely make ends meet. They rent a small apartment. her husband, who is 74 years old, works 2 jobs and is gone a lot. And my mom insists on having a new car every couple of years. She says she is saving money by leasing and will not listen to anything beyond that. She complains about all of the bills she has and that her husband is on expensive medications, and yet she writes that big old check for that car lease payment. I told her I really did hope she loved her new cars because one day she would be living in one. Ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 I have friends like that. I wonder if they are trying to fill an emotional hole. It does get old listening to them complain about bills, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 I hope this isn't too tacky, but you might buy this book for her. http://video.l3.fbcdn.net/cfs-l3-ash4/81653/784/53292083612_62641.mp4?oh=f454114260949a68268286a690f9d70a&oe=4EAC8400&l3s=20111027154352&l3e=20111029155352&lh=0dd10fe627a98e1c6411c Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anita in NC Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 She is a grown up - so really there isn't anything you can do. I have a MIL that calls and asks for money because she can't afford her expensive cell phone plan or cable tv. Duh! :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 If having a new car is really important to her and makes her happier than having some financial security, she won't be interested in other approaches. So much comes down to what your priorities are, and they vary such a lot between different people. On a large scale, for example, I choose to be out of the workforce because having the kids at home is important to us, whereas most people say their kids need to be at school because they need to have two full time incomes. On a small scale, we all make different choices about how to spend our money. We spend more to get free range meat and other high quality foods, my SIL spends a lot on cigarettes and alcohol but buys the cheapest possible food. She saves all year to buy Christmas presents, I'm too scrooge-like to do them but then we spend on other things for the kids (eg we take them to concerts and theatre performances - my nephew has lots of toys but I don't think he's ever been to the theatre). Your mum's attitude is going to be an issue if the end result is her expecting you to support her financially. Otherwise, you might be better to try not to worry about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 I hope this isn't too tacky, but you might buy this book for her. :lol: Unfortunately, that wouldn't work for her. She believes in credit. I grew up with her mantra of Why take time to save and do without when you can use credit and enjoy something now while you pay for it? She believes that credit is what allows us to live in a better tax bracket. :001_huh: She has told me I shouldn't worry about it because when she dies, the creditors can't get anything because she doesn't have anything. Lovely. I have friends like that. I wonder if they are trying to fill an emotional hole. It does get old listening to them complain about bills, though. Yeah. She was single for so many years and had to scrimp and scrounge. When she remarried, she was determined to quit her job and enjoy life. She is a grown up - so really there isn't anything you can do. Nope, nor do I try to. I learned the hard way that there is no reasoning with her. However, I do cringe when I hear someone say that my mom tells people that if her husband dies first, she will come live with me because she won't be able to support herself. I'm not exactly certain how I'm going to handle that one, but I do know that my marriage would be jeopardized if I allowed her into our home. It's going to be a big mess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 :grouphug: It is hard to watch someone not get finances. Believe me, DH and I struggle with watching people whine about their finances but then realize they aren't willing to actually change any of their spending. We have a friend who spends $900/mo on their 2 car payments, almost $300 on their family cell phone plan with all data, and have maxed out credit cards because she laughingly says she "loves to shop" but will have to take a break because their credit cards are maxed out. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 :001_rolleyes: I don't get the car thing. DH's family is very into new cars - leased usually - every few years. My family feels like I do - that they are an appliance and as long as they are safe and reliable, all is well. And they buy to own so that they get several years free. I hate leasing anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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