Poll: Can you do it all...and do it well regarding *housework*.

[Ginevra]

I didn't vote in the poll, because I'm not certain what standard you mean. I do keep my house pretty together, so in that sense, I would say yes. But, I do also choose not to do XYZ at a given time, because the basics matter more.

 

I do think (know) that it is possible to have a nice-looking, well-kept home, serve good homemade food, homeschool the kids to a high standard and maintain myself at a respectable level, while not being uptight and insane. But I have also traded some things for easier and more convenient over the years; I don't scrapbook anymore, for example. (I'm digital now.) I didn't can tomatoes this year because I just chose not to. I didn't feel like paying in the mess and work for the small benefit of home-canned tomatoes.

 

As far as Martha Stewart goes - that is her schtick. She never claimed (as far as I know) that everything she did in her house was as demonstrated on her shows and magazines. She's simply marketed a perception of being a domestic goddess.

 

I have just started a new blog on this very topic, btw, so it is quite interesting to me! :001_smile:

[cindergretta]

 

My mother was a complete neat freak. Her house was spotless. We were miserable. I felt like I was always "on" and had to worry more about keeping our house clean than actually living in it. Guests weren't really comfortable either.

 

 

This was the house in which I grew up. ::sigh:: My house, OTOH, is clean, neat, comfy, lived in and decorated with second hand furniture and art work, hand made by my dc! (And I have to literally figtht off my tendency, on a daily basis, to freak out about the house and make everyone start cleaning. I will NOT raise my dc in the same way I was raised.)

[desertmum]

For the purposes of this poll can you answer for the average home schooling mom whose kids are older than pre-school age. (Anyone with kids younger than this is automatically absolved from any expectations in these areas.) Also, for the sake of this discussion, it doesn't count if someone is only able to achieve this by making their family and/or guests uncomfortable with their uptight behavior.

 

I've read excerpts from Martha Stewart's daughter's autobiography. Her daughter says that her mother once asked her to wrap her own Christmas presents, turned the lights off for Halloween, didn't have yummy snacks around the house, etc. Basically, she was a hands-off mother.

 

Why should anyone care about this? Well, Martha Stewart has been making moms all over the country feel guilty that they don't have an immaculate linen closet, don't make their pie crusts from scratch, and don't make customized table decorations for each dinner guest. For a long time I've realized that Martha has been creating her empire with loads of employees helping her create a beautiful home, a flourishing garden, and elegant food. Yet many people look at her beautiful home, garden, and food and think, "Why can't I live like that?"

 

So, now that we know that Martha has, indeed, not been the perfect housekeeper, do you think that these exist?

 

I should have read your post before I voted. I have a friend who is an absolute marvel around the house but I don't date touch anything for fear of leaving finger marks and she has been known for moping the floor while having guests ("everybody lift up your feet now"). But she doesn't have any children but she had two dogs and a few canaries.

 

I have a 5yo who thinks our house is a shipyard and a husband who is like Robert Downey Jr's Sherlock Holmes: brilliant but messy.

[desertmum]

Some people can - but not me!

 

I once read a fridge magnet:

 

you can have a clean house

you can prepare great food

you can have happy kids

you can have a happy spouse.

 

Pick 3.

 

Yes, it is simplistic, and we are not totally in charge of other peoples happiness, but I think the sentiment is great.

 

My husband had a good chuckle reading this.

[jewellsmommy]

I voted other because there is so much to consider: working or volunteering outside the home, homeschooling, high maintenance children, the number of children, the ages of the children, husband's help, and what constitutes "clean" to you. No 2 people's situations are the same.

 

I only have 2. But ds is very high maintenance due to his issues. Both dc require numerous medical appointments/therapy weekly. We also participate in a co-op and do a lot at our church. Homeschooling these dc is like trying to sit on 2 squirrels at the same time. How's that for a visual? :tongue_smilie: My house will never be mistaken for a magazine cover, but the dishes are clean. There are clean linens and clothing (not all of it is folded, of course). Nothing is growing in the fridge, etc. There are, however, dog toys on the floor, craft remnants on the dining room table and the end tables are cluttered.

 

If some other woman can "do it all," all the time, great for her. But, I sure don't feel guilty about not being able to. :D

[Audrey]

She was a successful business person. She was a writer, publisher, tv personality, model, stock broker, caterer. She worked incredibly hard long hours and built a successful business. If I want to compare myself to her and feel bad about myself, I will think about how small my bank account it, not how my linen closets look. She has bankrolled her daughter for many years and still employs her, and in my opinion, her daughter is a disgusting, tacky person.

 

Anyway, yes, I think most women who are not trying to earn an income can keep a basically tidy home and cook reasonable meals. It gets harder with more children, more square footage, and more crafts. I have a hard time keeping up and I do NO crafts.

 

 

:iagree: with most of this. As I said before, I do have dh to help a lot. I figure that since we all live here, we can all help keep it neat (and hopefully no one goes crazy except me, but was already there to begin with!)

 

I never compared myself to Martha. I thought she had good cookbooks and cute crafts. I love to cook, so her books were good inspirations to try things I might not have otherwise. I'm not terribly crafty, though, so once in a blue moon, I'd see something she did and do my own take on it. One thing that I learned from her ages ago, was to plant bulbs in pots (like paperwhites, for example) and then plant rye grass seed atop them. The grass grows first and then the bulbs come through. It's very pretty and you get more green for longer. I still do that all throughout the cold months. It keeps me feeling cheery. So, I thank her for that.

 

But... she was never my idol. Even if she didn't have a staff of dozens, and she actually did do all the housekeeping, decorating and cooking, she had a terrible relationship with her spouse and possible with her children. There's no amount of business success or money that would make me distance my family like that.

 

There is always more to a person than that person shows you.

[tenoraddict]

So, now that we know that Martha has, indeed, not been the perfect housekeeper, do you think that these exist?

She exists, and she is my mother. Granted, she only raised one daughter at a time (I had 1 semester of high school left when my parents adopted my sister as an infant), and only homeschooled off and on for maybe a half a dozen years (my sister, not me). My dad traveled for work at least 50% of the time, so it was often just Mom and a daughter at home. She used to scrub the garage floor on a fairly regular basis, just for a frame of reference of how clean her house was. Our home was beautifully decorated, we were deliciously fed, she was at every school event, she entertained on a semi-professional level... My mom set the bar VERY high; she could hang with Martha Stewart.

 

I, on the other hand, had 3 sons in 5 years and am married to the King of Messy (who grew up in chaos with 7 siblings, so it's taken him 20 years to learn that cleanliness and organization are good things). It took me over 10 years of marriage and 3 sons to realize that I am not my mother. I'd LIKE to be, in some ways, but the men in my family are too busy LIVING in our house for it to look like a showroom. It was very hard for me to give up the idea of having a beautiful, tidy home (which was all I knew, to be fair to myself) and embrace the idea of having a lived-in home. My family is fed well (I did pick that up from my mom), clean, clothed, educated (at least I'm trying to educate them!), and happy.

 

They tell me I'll miss the mess and fingerprints everywhere, but I'm not sure I believe them. When they're all grown up, maybe I'll have the home I want. I really don't think that anyone who homeschools multiple kids (who are also in mulitple activities) can "have it all" in terms of home management, "work," and quality family life. I've long said that no working mother can, and homeschooling moms are working moms.

[justamouse]

to an extent, keeping my house clean keeps the *peace* of my house, which is tantamount.

 

We are more peaceful as a family when the house is *reasonably* clean, where there is *mostly* order. We live in our house, it's well loved and used, but for us to live her with peace, knowing that we can slack a bit, kick back without guilt, it's kept reasonably clean most of the time. It's also a very peaceful place to be.

 

If we all come down with the flu, I'm not promising you anything. ;)