pfamilygal Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 A friend just called. He lives in the DFW area and shares custody of his 10th grader with the child's mom (they were never married). She has been homeschooling him, but is not doing a very good job. The child is unable to write a paragraph or complete even 6th grade level math. My friend wants the child to be in public or private school. He knows there have been several CPS-reported incidents with his ex-gf and her kids, but she will not tell him what they are about. He wants to know: 1) Does he have legal access to the reports about his kid if they share custody and decision-making about the child? 2) If she is not schooling the child at all, or is doing a woefully inadequate job, what are his options? Can he make a CPS report? Will they look into it? Can he take her to family court? Any advice would be helpful. He thought since I was a nurse I would know, but I don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K&Rs Mom Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 1) Does he have legal access to the reports about his kid if they share custody and decision-making about the child? 2) If she is not schooling the child at all, or is doing a woefully inadequate job, what are his options? Can he make a CPS report? Will they look into it? Can he take her to family court? Based on my time as a CASA volunteer in MI (not actual law experience and not TX): 1 - possibly not, a lot of that stuff is non-public, to try to protect the family, but if his name is on the birth certificate that may make it visible to him when it wouldn't be to the general public 2 - It would make more sense to go to whatever body set up the custody arrangement, not to CPS - they're already "on file" there, and it should be obvious if the mom is violating what is already in place, or if she's not he can get the custody paperwork changed to specify educational plans Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 He needs a family law attorney. I am wonder, though, if he *shares* custody why this apparently chronic educational neglect is only now getting addressed and noticed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pfamilygal Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 He needs a family law attorney. I am wonder, though, if he *shares* custody why this apparently chronic educational neglect is only now getting addressed and noticed? I don't know exactly what you'd call their arrangement. He gets his son twice a month for a weekend. He says his ex has multiple mental health issues and fights him on everything. There is a strong possibility that the child has undiagnosed learning disabilities as well. Why has he waited so long? Heck if I know. Maybe he's just looking at college/career looming closer and is freaking out. That's what I told him - get a lawyer! Or at least consult with one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I agree that he needs an attorney to muddle through this for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2bandg Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 In my state, biological parents have joint legal custody (medical, education, religion, etc.) unless a specific other arrangement is made. He and the child's mom should have an equal say in the child's education and all of the decision making surrounding those issues. His best bet might be to work it out through a neutral third party. A mediator might be a good, less expensive alternative if he thinks he can come to some sort of educational compromise with the child's mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I don't know exactly what you'd call their arrangement. He gets his son twice a month for a weekend. He says his ex has multiple mental health issues and fights him on everything. There is a strong possibility that the child has undiagnosed learning disabilities as well. Why has he waited so long? Heck if I know. Maybe he's just looking at college/career looming closer and is freaking out. That's what I told him - get a lawyer! Or at least consult with one. FYI, many states, and definitely Texas, will rule in favor of the normative/mainstream choices if something religious, educational, or medical is disputed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 As soon as my separation turned to divorce, the judge ordered our children to be in public schools. Period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I would STRONGLY urge him NOT to get any government agencies involved regarding his child's education. Please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 A sophomore in high school who cannot write a paragraph or complete 6th grade math? ABSOLUTELY call CPS! They will probably not give him access to earlier reports, but he has a right and a duty to call! :001_huh: Otherwise, what is going to happen to this kid when he turns 18? It is suddenly on him to find resources to educate himself? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I vote attorney, not CPS. Does he want custody of his kid? would he take it to get his kid what is needed? Would the kid come live with him? If he's just arm-chair quarterbacking, it doesn't count for much, KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 A sophomore in high school who cannot write a paragraph or complete 6th grade math? ABSOLUTELY call CPS! I am always cautious when only one side of the story is available. Without more info, we can't tell if the son's level of educational achievement is way less than it could be, or way more than it otherwise would be. Under the circumstances (heretofore uninvolved-with-education dad), I'd withhold judgement of mom. That said, good for dad for deciding to do what he can to help. Personally I'd start by having dad talk to the boy about his schooling, his goals, his frustrations, etc., and go from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pfamilygal Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Yes, he would like custody and is considering ways he could possibly homeschool him with his wife to catch the child up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Yes, he would like custody and is considering ways he could possibly homeschool him with his wife to catch the child up. Tell him the likely truth: If mom, who apparently has joint conservatorship with right to establish primary residence, fights his request for custody, the battle can last a long, costly time. Children in Texas do not get to choose (though they can give input), and there is no such thing as "unfit parent". Instead, he'd have to prove a "substantial and material change" in order to modify the original default agreement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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