The too-easy-to-homeschool child (or should I send dd to school?) long

[5wolfcubs]

My 2nd dd is 11, 6th grade age this fall. She has always been an easy-to-homeschool child. She took off w/ reading at age 4, can spell a word after seeing it in print, intuitively understands math & memorized her all her math facts without practice, likes Latin & poetry, etc, etc...she's cheerful and competent about schoolwork. I give her an assignment sheet, she returns with the work done and done correctly. But, because she's so...well, easy...it is easy to ignore her. I hardly interact with her, no teaching, no discussion, no challenge or competition, no recognition for a job well done...

 

I've always felt I was doing a good job keeping her at/above grade level. Now I'm thinking that it isn't enough. That she could do more, go further, be more. I feel I'm not preparing her for something, as if she was in school, I'd be taking her out because she was simply coasting along and not really learning.

 

So, I heard about a Classical charter school (via the afterschooling board!) in my area -- and it looks so good! So much more then I'm doing...the interactions, the Socratic-discussion, the hard work, the chance to put forth effort, to excel, etc. Latin is taught, the Great Books are read...

 

Still, I don't want to send her to school. I know she could handle the work academically, but I don't know about the social/emotional aspect (she an extreme introvert). We've always homeschooled, enjoying the flexibility and the family togetherness. Dh thinks I'm shortchanging dd academically but doesn't know that she'd thrive in school.

 

I see my options as:

 

A) continuing as is (homeschooling, mostly independent work on my dd's part...easy on my part, gets done plus I'll have 8th, 6th, 3rd, 1st, 3yo & new baby)

B) send her to the Classical school (dh, dd & I are going to take a tour in June)

C) alter my attitude toward her education and choose materials that require interaction/challenge/something more (this requires me to follow-through)

 

C seems best, but how do I do this? Can anyone relate, offer advice, or talk me through this? My dh does not like to discuss & re-discuss things...I trying not to bring the subject up until I have something to say. :lol:

 

Thanks to those of you who have read this far!

[Jumping In Puddles]

You could send her there for a year and see how she does. That school sounds great and maybe you will have more interaction with her because she might be excited to tell you about what she's learning and her new friends.

 

If it doesn't work out, then you know you tried. :)

[Donna]

if I were in your position this would be my view.

 

She does not seem to want to go to school. Does she feel challenged? Is it the lack of time because of the other children that makes you unable to discuss her work with her? Does she feel she is missing anything? Are there any subjects she wants to delve into further? I take my children alone for lunch 2-3 times per year and we discuss their interests, their goals for the next few months, and what they would like to study. Your daughter is plenty old enough to provide input into her studies.

 

You do not seem to want to stop homeschooling. A change in the way you homeschool would not be difficult to do with effort. Providing her positive feedback, giving her time during the day to discuss her work with you, etc...are all changes made relatively easily. Providing her with a more challenging curriculum may be a bit harder depending on the child.

 

Are there any options available for courses where she can interact with other bright children? (local museums, using the school system part-time, or any other extra-curricular interests) Are there any online courses she may find challenging like Thinkwell, epgy, etc...?

 

Good Luck with your decision.

[RoughCollie]

Hi, Lee. Will your DD get to spend some time at the school in classes, so she can see how she feels about attending the school? I think that would be a good idea.

 

We sent one of our introverts to a parochial school this year, with the proviso that if he disliked it, he could elect to come home at the end of any grading period. It finally got to the point where we just took him out because he was not making a decision and I knew he was unhappy.

 

My DS cooperated fully with DH's plan (I didn't want DS to go), but he did not want to leave homeschool. DH was up front with DS about why he wanted him to try this school -- it was basically so that DS would make friends and would get over being so introverted. Well, you can't change the stripes on a tiger.

 

So, I'd let your DD make the choice, if you and your husband think either homeschool or the charter school would be fine. In that case, you can always beef up the academics for your DD by trying some curricula that would allow her to investigate and make discoveries on her own.

 

That's my couple of pennies tossed into the ring.

 

RC

[Crissy]

 

So, I heard about a Classical charter school (via the afterschooling board!) in my area -- and it looks so good! So much more then I'm doing...the interactions, the Socratic-discussion, the hard work, the chance to put forth effort, to excel, etc. Latin is taught, the Great Books are read...

 

 

 

I think the question you need to ask yourself is whether or not you are willing to spend the time with her to cover all of those things you believe will give her a solid, challenging education.

 

Will you make the time to educate yourself in Latin and Socratic discussion? Will you read the great books along with her so that you can share and discuss the themes and ideas? Is it simply more of your time that she needs?

 

They are easy questions for the mother of 2 to ask, but difficult to answer for a mother of 5, aren't they? ;)

[nancypants]

Honestly, if I found the right classical school and we could afford it, I would eventually probably send all of our children to it if it gelled with their personalities and learning styles. So I say to send her for a year and test the waters... and then go from there.

[Doran]

Our 13 year old sounds a lot like your 11 year old. Tomorrow, she will spend the afternoon shadowing another student at our public high school. Unless something unforeseen results from that experience, we expect she will be going to high school in August. There are some similarities and some differences in our daughters. Probably most important are that facts that our dd is not an introvert and she actually wants to attend school. She first asked us to go in 7th grade, and we put her off until she was past middle school.

 

Similar, however, is the fact that we...well, really, it's me, since I am the teacher...feel this child could be better served -- yes EVEN in a public school setting (how I wish we had a classical charter school to consider!!) -- by teachers who are experts in their subject matter, by the possibility of a greater level of challenge in her subjects, by the opportunity for her to interact with a wider range of people. I have had that niggling feeling that you have for over a year now, the one that suggests she's not getting enough attention (aka: challenge) at home.

 

Now, in our circumstance, there is a great likelihood that she will not be adequately challenged in public school either. We are going to discuss with the appropriate individual the possibility of bumping her up a grade, which would be possible without loads of forms and testing here if we do it early in the year and say she was "misplaced" due to her years of homeschooling. But, we may find that we don't have that option, or that the school environment is unsuitable. Still, we feel it is in both her and our best interests at this time to explore the option.

 

Given your opportunity for what sounds like an excellent school, and the fact that you will be mighty busy with your other hs-ed kids and a new baby (is it realistic to think that this will be the year you'll have more time to give her?), I think a trial sounds like a worthwhile consideration. It's not set in stone. You can always bring her back home if the school situation doesn't pan out. As my daughter says (my future defense atty:001_rolleyes: ) "How will we know if we don't try?"

 

 

I totally understand your reservations. Frankly, I'm sad and scared about this transition. But, I'm trying to be open to the possibility of making a brave, new discovery for our dd.

 

HTH!

[Laura K (NC)]

If your dd is thriving, ahead of the game school-wise, and is comfortable and content, I would leave well enough alone.

 

So much will change in the next few years for her as she matures, if she is an introvert she might avoid a lot of heartaches if she stays home. Middle school, especially, is very difficult. The kids are all over the spectrum emotionally and physically and intellectually, so your daughter would be even more alone in a bigger class than she would be at home. She would not get one-on-one in a classroom.

 

Around here the public high schools are very happy to get homeschoolers. Homeschoolers do an awesome job but start second-guessing themselves, and then the public schools get the credit for a student who is conscientious, hard-working, intelligent, and quiet. If I were you, I'd take the credit that is rightfully yours, and I'd make sure dh knows that your daughter's success so far is because of homeschooling.

 

Good homeschool teachers, no matter how many kids they have, are like public school teachers in that they always want to make each year a little bit better than the previous year, to fix those things that didn't work so well, and to make the good things even better. Public/private school teachers are not without faults, and I think some of them really do a student harm... especially the introverted ones. Your quest to find the best for your daughter is natural, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. We all have areas of our homeschools that can be better, just like we have aspects of our parenting or being a spouse that could improve. The solution isn't to drop out because you've made a score of 92, when you could have made a 100, but to figure out how to get the score higher next time, or to be satisfied with the A.

[Mx5]

"...don't fix it."

 

Your dd seems to be thriving at home. Remember, homeschooling isn't just about schoolish things. It's about having our kids with us, living life with us, not just digesting info. in a safer zone. Your years spent with her, whether she's an independent learner or not, will be something you will treasure your entire life. It goes by too quickly.

 

"More" for her may be formulated not from more school, but more time with momma and her siblings, learning about things that matter in all areas of life, not just a future career. I would be very hesitant to send her to a school at this time, regardless of how rigorous the school might be.

 

The thing we tend to forget as parents is that we can do all the best things for our kids, but those things don't guarantee the type of outcome we wish for them as adults. We are not formulaic beings, and our paths take many unexpected turns. If your kids are prepared to face life's challenges by being in a loving, intentional, warm home, they are blessed.

[summer]

You send her back, she will not be doing more or going further. Once in skill, she will be allowed to do what everyone else does, and only what everyone else does. If she finishes faster, they will give her more work of the same to keep her busy. Sometimes, if she is really lucky, they will let her go be a "helper" to the janitor if they cannot find enough busy work.

 

You will destroy that child if you send her. Trust me. And don't fall for the gifted program idea. They are a lot of hype and I have yet to see an actual good gifted program. (unless you happen to be in Reno, I heard the Davidson Institute can be good).

[summer]

I heard about that specific charter school too. But honestly, if your child is even in the top 95th %ile IQ wise, and sounds like she is above that, the school will still be a bunch of busy work. Schools like that often assign a lot of school work so the parents feel it is such a great school with all that homework. They will brag about the homework. In reality, the homework is just a bunch of work...outputting, not learning.

 

I do not have experience with that particular charter school, but I am in the Dallas/Ft Worth area and I have looked extensively in to the higher recommended private and public schools..with finances not having limits, and never did find one that really was for a truely gifted child. There were ones that thought they were, but I got in there and looked at the nitty gritty of exactly what the children did all day, every day. The books, the assignments, the schedules of the day, the actual homework. Not one was truely geared to gifted children. Now, one school was actually a very good school. But, none that claimed to be for the gifted were really just for above average kids whose parents love it when they come home with 2-4 hrs worth of homework a night. (to list a few, I looked very in depth at North Hills, St Mark's, Hockaday, Episcopal Schoool of Dallas, Universal Academy, etc).

[5wolfcubs]

Thank you all so much, for your honesty and your questions! You've given me a lot to mull over (instead of just my own thoughts, which are stale at this point).

 

I don't think dd is gifted, just quick and enjoys "schoolwork" (unlike certain of my other children!). The squeaky wheel gets the grease...and she isn't one of the squeaky ones. And I feel she is short-changed academically because of it.

 

I'm reading the revised LCC now (didn't read the first edition) -- if I can wrap my mind around the idea of dropping CLE for "Language Arts" and doing Greek instead... That would definitely require more of both of us.

 

I'm definitely taking your pennies to heart, ladies. :grouphug: I'm looking forward to the tour of the school, more hoping that it'll inspire me to be a better teacher then that dd will want to go there.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

I haven't read the other answers, but I have had one child like this. Every year, I took it upon myself to ask him what he wanted. I also asked him for his input on subjects, extracurricular activities, and special goals. Every year he chose to stay home. When he reached ninth grade, I told him it was his last chance to choose. He chose to stay home.

 

He told me he did not want to be part of the high pressure schooling that he saw his friends doing. I don't think it hurt him at all. Last week I found out that he made the same SAT scores as his friend who was in the IB program.

 

My son spent his senior year in community college classes, it gave him tremendous confidence that he could compete in an highly academic atmosphere. He ended up being accepted at his dream college, with no problems.

[SnowWhite]

What about an enrichment program? Like a co-op or a one day program at a Classical school? You could continue to homeschool her *and* she could reap the benefits of outside interaction.

[5wolfcubs]

I was reading a thread on the curriculum board about If you had it to do over again... and this

make sure that the school you are creating is one that you would want your kids to attend.

just jumped out at me! For my oldest, I am doing this (always a process) and I'm pretty satisfied for my younger three (at this point)...now to create the school I want for 2nd dd. :) I actually feel almost excited about the possibilities of home instead of paralyzed by the Classical school website.

 

There is a homeschool enrichment program that offers 1 or 2 day a week programs. That might be just what we all could benefit from as well...