Recovering from extreme stress/dealing with stress

[sbgrace]

I love someone, a close family member, who had a period of "life caving in and lots of losses" extreme stress two years ago. The most intense of it lasted 4 months approximately but some of the life changes and related stress do and will remain.

 

This person feels that period of extreme stress time changed her (negatively). She is increasingly falling apart. The reaction to the most minor of things is full on stress and anxiety almost as if she was "back then". This can be a child not cooperating or the stove dinging while she's changing a diaper. These minor things cause major stress that seems out of proportion to the situation. She's now having physical symptoms and rapidly getting worse even though her life circumstances are at least "holding" if not improved. She doesn't feel she can keep going with her responsibilities (kids, one with "new" disabilities/needs) and feels like she's depleted and overwhelmed I guess but, again, life is going to continue with some stress. Any seems like more than she can handle now.

 

I don't know how to help. Does this sound like anything? How does a person manage unchanging negative "stuff" and how does a person recover emotionally from an extremely hard time period?

 

She saw a counselor who was helping. The counselor suddenly died--this person has had an unbelievable string of bad stuff. The new counselor is not helpful and in fact making things harder or maybe the death and all was the last straw. I don't know but the last month has been a sharp decline. She does take an anti-depressant. I'm desperate for some direction to help her recover and manage again.

Edited September 22, 2011 by sbgrace

[LucyStoner]

It sounds like she needs a new counselor. And possibly a different antidepressant, perhaps on that focuses on anxiety. She may also want to look into someone that focuses on a range of treatments for PTSD. I saw that because she is triggered to relive a previous stressor by a current small stressor.

 

I also like stress management and self care techniques. For me that is exercise, yoga a few minutes a day in my living room, hobbies (roller skating/derby, music, reading) and making sure I set clear boundaries around known stressful situations...for example a few weeks of long work days with no breaks will start making me jumpy and touchy but I can stave that off by taking time during the day to eat lunch, to sit down to meals with my kids and husband and by taking family walks. This stuff is not a substitute for medical care, but it makes a big difference. I do not want to sound like Tom Cruise :glare: but exercise, sleep and enough good nutrition/vitamins makes a huge difference for me. Huge.

 

Caveat- I am not a healthcare pro and make no claims of being anything other than a mom who has battled against severe postpartum mood issues (anxiety mostly) and PTSD. I have also gone through deep grief (2 years ago, my mom died at a too young to die age of cancer). What has worked for me is not me stating that it will work for everyone.

[EthiopianFood]

My first thought was PTSD as well. I agree with the pp, and I would also strongly suggest EMDR. I used this for a few stressful memories in general, but one in particular that gave me panic attacks. They completely stopped after one session. I did NOT expect it to work, nor did I "try to make it work."

[Kari C in SC]

It sounds to me like it may be time to see a doctor. I know stress - horrible things have happened to me. My sister-in-law (my best friend) was murdered. I was laid off. We moved out of state. Couldn't sell one of 2 houses. My husband was laid off. My husband was depressed and having anxiety attacks. Then - WHAM - my son is killed in a car accident. There is more - way more in my life. That is the way condensed version. My dh needs medication to help with his anxiety. He needed it before our son died, btw. I, on the other hand, may struggle or may hurt, but I can cope pretty well. If I were as your friend sounds - I would seek medical attention.

[Little Nyssa]

Aside from seeing a Dr, I think the best thing you could do for her would be to help her get some time off: take her kids for a few hours a week, or arrange something fun for her like "mom's night out". Then she could get a little time that's stress-free.

[elegantlion]

Hard times make you edgy. I agree with a new counselor, me time, and time. Sometimes a nice e-mail, a phone call, a note of encouragement can brighten a dark day. Stress hit us hard this year. It has changed dh and I, we aren't the same people. As someone stated on this board, it's not about getting over something, it's about finding and accepting a new normal.