Ideas? I really need a break from my kids.

[FrogMom5]

They are good kids and not doing anything wrong. But they are loud, especially my middle one, and I just can't take the constant noise all day long. I feel like I spend most of the day and half the evening asking him to quiet down but he can't. He honestly can't find a way to play quietly.

 

My dd then becomes loud and rowdy too because her brother is so much fun. He is a fun person, I just wish he could settle down for a little while.

 

So my two little ones make tremendous noise all day. My poor middle son even makes excess noise while doing school work. Is this common w/ADHD? Is this why he can't do anything without being very rowdy and loud?

 

Anyway, most days I'm fine. He's a good boy and I love his energetic spirit. I have a sinus cold and tight chest congestion and so I'm ultra sensitive to noise. I decided to spend some time here while the little kids were playing because I get tired of laying in bed (laying or lying?). But, I can't hear myself think to answer a post.

 

Do you have any ideas to help him learn to be quiet for just a little while? He gets lots of exercise. My husband takes the boys running every morning and then I take them swimming for an hr. or two, when I'm well. Does he need more movement than that?

Thanks for listening. Any ideas are appreciated.

Denise

[elfgivas]

:grouphug:

 

here, playing mozart in the background helps settle things..... that's all i can come up with right now.

 

:bigear:

 

ann

[roxanne23]

.

Edited January 4, 2023 by roxanne23

[HollyB]

Listening to audiobooks really quiets my kids for a little while. I also have my older read to my younger. They both love doing that and gives me a little break.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

[FrogMom5]

Thanks for all the good ideas. No, I've never had a mandatory quiet time except to tell them to stay quiet while studying. I'll have to try it. I'll also try having him read to dd. The little ones would love listening to a story on tape, if I can get them to agree on which one. :D

 

My teen uses noise blocking headphones and listens to classical music to study. Maybe I should get the same set-up for my middle one so he can listen to something, SOTW maybe, while I work with dd.

 

You all have got me thinking about solutions now. Thank you so much.

Denise

[gardenmom5]

ear plugs for you - amazing how much difference those can make.

[Truscifi]

I also have mandatory quiet time once school work is done. Can you send them to separate areas, maybe each in their own room? That way they won't feed off each other. Also when ds is too wound up to settle down easily I send him out to play with the dog for a while, then he does quiet time.

[Dobela]

Sometimes it helps my kids to change locations - like work out on the patio for an hour or 2 or do math facts while jumping on the mini tram or riding the exercise bike. My dd though simply has no volume control and can wear me down in a hurry.

 

After that though, I just leave the house for a time after dh comes home on the worst days. I go to a local coffee shop with enough money for a drink and a book or magazine. After a couple of hours I am sufficiently refreshed and can better deal with the next day.

[Mommee & Baba]

Phew! I'm with you mama! I had to escape tonight when dh got home just to get some peace and quiet. Amazing how nice it is to just drive in a quiet car. :p

 

I too feel like I'm constantly telling the kids to quiet down. Last year we had a mandatory quiet time and I'm really thinking we need to start it up again because I'm getting super overwhelmed come Wednesday/Thursday. So I think starting this Monday I will have them each ly down for some quiet time when their brother lys down too. I think gathering up a stack of books and some quiet play on their beds is fine but they are to stay until the timer goes off. I set it for an hour last year. It's nice to get a break from ALL of them and just rest myself and gather myself.

[FrogMom5]

ear plugs for you - amazing how much difference those can make.

 

:lol: That's funny. Yes, I think I will try this too.

Thanks.

Denise

[smillard00]

We aren't doing it at the moment, but I used to really need a quiet time mid-day if I was going to make it through. For us, the trick to quiet time was to have every person in a different room, alone. Usually, I made them stay on their bed and I encouraged them to read. It really saved my sanity.

[livingnlearning]

I have been known to go sit in the car in the driveway and read...or listen to a book... or call DH or a friend... or just listen to music and maybe take a short nap. My son is loud too-we sometimes call him Foghorn! lol Love him to bits but my ears can only take so much. They sometimes call me from the house phone to my cell phone in the car to ask questions... it works well except for when it's really cold out. :)

[WeeBeaks]

Yes, I do believe it can be a big component in ADHD. My DH and oldest son are both ADHD. They are LOUD to the extreme. They like to yell over the top of music blaring for example, an example from tonight that sent me sailing over the edge.

 

When my 9yo son is in the house, all the other kids seem to rev up their mood and loudness to meet his. When he is out of the house, it is a totally different atmosphere.

 

Here is what we do:

1. Quiet time absolutely. Every day. Or else the others are so incredibly overstimulated they start to fight by mid afternoon. They need quiet too though they don't know how to say it. DS is exhausting.

2. I tell them "mouth time out" occasionally. Not in a mean way, but sometimes I just have to have a bit of quiet or go insane.

3. DS likes to read. I encourage him to do so. It is a nice quiet activity, although he does want to tell me about his book every 2 minutes or so. Same with Legos or other engaging activities - nice and quiet.

4. When I'm really frazzled, I allow video.

 

We work with DS often on looking for signs in others that he is too loud, talking too much or just plain too dominating of everything. It doesn't come naturally to him, and he has to be explicitly told often what others pick up on automatically. Same with tone of voice in different environments. He doesn't get it at all and we have to teach it explicitly. He is getting better, but some days I'm still in tears by the time DH gets home. And I too sometimes just go sit in the car in the driveway for a while once DH gets home to unwind. I also occasionally wear hearing protectors during the day or earplugs as the loudness causes me to be tense and angry.

[FrogMom5]

More great solutions. It's a too hot now for ds to go out on the porch or backyard, but that will work once it's cooler here. In the cooler months, ds and dd will play in the backyard as a break from school. They do like that. I'm sure that's part of the problem right now. If I'm too sick to take them to the pool, they're stuck inside and can't work off their energy. Still, even on pool days, ds is loud and rowdy. I wish he'd share some of that energy!

 

I like all the ideas on having a set quiet time. I don't know why I didn't think of that. It's in TWTM and many other homeschooling books I've read. I just forgot about that part. Tommorrow is a good day to start it.

 

We don't have a coffee shop near by but the library might work for some alone time. Maybe I can do that once in a while too. Not while I'm sick, but once I'm well again.

 

Thanks everyone for these good ideas.

Denise

[FrogMom5]

Yes, I do believe it can be a big component in ADHD. My DH and oldest son are both ADHD. They are LOUD to the extreme. They like to yell over the top of music blaring for example, an example from tonight that sent me sailing over the edge.

 

When my 9yo son is in the house, all the other kids seem to rev up their mood and loudness to meet his. When he is out of the house, it is a totally different atmosphere.

 

Here is what we do:

1. Quiet time absolutely. Every day. Or else the others are so incredibly overstimulated they start to fight by mid afternoon. They need quiet too though they don't know how to say it. DS is exhausting.

2. I tell them "mouth time out" occasionally. Not in a mean way, but sometimes I just have to have a bit of quiet or go insane.

3. DS likes to read. I encourage him to do so. It is a nice quiet activity, although he does want to tell me about his book every 2 minutes or so. Same with Legos or other engaging activities - nice and quiet.

4. When I'm really frazzled, I allow video.

 

We work with DS often on looking for signs in others that he is too loud, talking too much or just plain too dominating of everything. It doesn't come naturally to him, and he has to be explicitly told often what others pick up on automatically. Same with tone of voice in different environments. He doesn't get it at all and we have to teach it explicitly. He is getting better, but some days I'm still in tears by the time DH gets home. And I too sometimes just go sit in the car in the driveway for a while once DH gets home to unwind. I also occasionally wear hearing protectors during the day or earplugs as the loudness causes me to be tense and angry.

 

Yes, the bolded part. It seems to be something he needs to do. He seems to prefer lots of noise and then to talk over it. :confused: It makes no sense to me, but he seems to need it. He's told us that he hates it when it's quiet.

 

And yes, he loves to dominate everything. He wants to control everything. He is getting better about that part but it's a long road still ahead of us.

 

Ok, I'll get some ear plugs, and institute quiet time. I'm hesistant to get a mini trampoline w/dd only 4 - but there are some activity type toys (OT kinds of toys) that might help him work off more energy outside.

 

You all have been a big help. Thanks.

Denise

[Sahamamama]

We have tried to teach our girls to only speak at the volume needed to communicate to the person who is, what, one foot away? five inches away? :glare: LOL. Can you tell that I am sensitive to noise? :tongue_smilie:

 

When I have a sinus problem, seriously, too much noise is painful. If I can't take Benadryl during the day (knocks me out), I put 1/2 a cotton ball in my left ear (the sensitive one), and that seems to help. I can still hear them. :001_smile: Just not so much... and that's a good thing.

 

Also, IF you really need to tune out for part of the day, you could put on classical music in the background and focus your brain on that. Our girls listen to audiobooks while coloring & playing, but I don't know how much your rowdy boy would be into that.

 

Good luck with him. One more thought: Is there a certain time each day when you are maxing out? Maybe you could build in a quiet time, and steer the children towards settling down for this, before you reach your limit. I will say, we still do Nap/Quiet Time every day -- and the girls are 6.5 and 4.5 (twins) -- but I tell them, "I don't care if you are tired. Nap is because I am tired." :D They have two rules in a dark, boring room. (1) Lie down; and (2) be quiet. We take that two-hour period very seriously. HTH.