serendipitous journey Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I found myself rambling on another thread and realized that I have a genuine problem I'd love perspective on: I am mystified as how to best proceed with my 6-year-old's (he turns six in a couple of weeks) education. The challenges are a perfectionistic temperament, a need for structure (he gets moody, clingy, and malaise-y if we skip more than 1 day of school, so we do Sunday-Friday), and a toddler brother (who makes it impossible to do focused work except during nap time). Too much seatwork cracks him up, naturally enough, but he almost never does hands-on projects as specified and this makes it hard to plan a series of things or to predict how long things will take. -- the not-following-directions isn't orneriness, it's just that the things most children will do naturally are foreign to him and what makes sense to him isn't in the book :) Where we are academically: 1. his reading isn't esp. advanced, since he had a very emotional relationship to books for years and I had to bribe him to let me read new ones to him (we know lots of academics/professors, and no one else has had a toddler who wouldn't be read to or even listen to a poem or story). He is now in the Free & Treadwell Second Reader, an old-fashioned second-grade text, and we're working through phonics pathways; he reads some Amelia Bedelia, Frog and Toad, etc. 2. He's doing math-u-see Gamma (multiplication) and has finished mult-digit addition/subtraction; he understands negative numbers; we haven't done any geometry. 3. Our science has been casual, esp. since I've been cranky at inaccuracies in BFSU, but he loves science. We're doing human-body stuff at the moment; we covered some basic astronomy and early universe last year. 4. History is vague; he loves early earth, and I've started him on early United States history. 5. Geography: he has a good feel for continents and oceans, and we track the US history stories on the map. He's fascinated by geog. I think I could do a better job for him if it weren't for the rest of life (toddler, household, disrupted sleep, live-in in-laws which are a gift and also take time) etc. My plan was to spin off Ambleside Online, b/c of the character focus and rich literature and emphasis on development of the whole child. I would start either year 1 or year 1/2; teach the Bible from a cultural perspective (I am sorry if this is offensive, but we are not Christian in any normal sense of the word); add US history stories; proceed through math and readers at his pace; and do Montessori based geography, biology, and history. We'd try to do art, artist, composer, and music studies and add a foreign language. The trouble is that this all feels sort of random, and I am not sure where we are going down the road. Can I keep spinning off Ambleside, doing the math, science, etc. at his own pace? When will we do handicrafts, etc. which seem important but hard to manage right now? Should my main goal be just moving forward and maintaining emotional well-being in my child, or something more focused? Right now it seems like he's either bored or frustrated much of the time; I'm sleepy and feel disorganized; I feel like each day is a somewhat isolated Adventure rather than part of something that makes real sense. ... any ideas? and thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenmama2 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I'm grappling with this too. I'm sorry I don't have any practical advice but I feel your pain. Will be following this thread... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbara H Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 Maybe this is off track, but I'll toss out an idea... What helped give us most structure around that age was to build routine into the day as much as possible. Taking a walk each morning weather permitting or having indoor exercise time helped. Having set times where we did a little clean up (before lunch and before dinner). Taking some reading or quiet resting time after lunch each day. Playing a game or doing a craft each afternoon. Baking together on Tuesday, library on Wednesday, etc. I'm not suggesting that exact schedule, but I'm wondering if you have much routine or rhythm to the day and if the affects how people feel. Knowing what to expect with the narrow space between bored and frustrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desertmum Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 My kid is very much like yours. I am finding he thrives on structure. However, since he needs to learn flexibility and focus I give him "15 minute warning". This means I will warm him we are about to start a new activity up to 15 minutes before. This makes transitions better. I also make lessons short so he doesn't get too restless and distracted. As for perfectionism I try to work along side ds and sometime I "make" mistakes too so he can see we ALL make mistakes. I hope this helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 My guess--and entirely a guess based on my experience with my son at that age when I too felt so overwhelmed--is that you could be trying to do too much. It was when I started asking questions like... - Why are we doing this? - What would happen if I tweaked WTM to suit the pace I'm comfortable with? - Why is Ambleside Online important to me at the moment? (not putting it down, just using it as an example here) - Why do art, music, foreign language now? Is he asking for it? Would the world end if we waited a bit to do crafts? - What would happen if I focused on just math, spelling and geography for the next 2-3 days/weeks/months? (again examples and geog because you say he likes it) ...that things started to make more sense to me. Perhaps it sounds crazy. Just perhaps...even at 6, he may have some valuable input on exactly what he wants to learn right now. And then you could see how you can combine his input with how you want him to learn it? Good luck! Been there...and not done yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenbrdsly Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Have you read The Well Trained Mind? It has a whole road-map of ideas. The author's ideas for creating a time-line for example, might help with structure. Maybe your 6 year old would see the timeline and "want to fill in the pieces" so to say. For dealing with intensities... have you heard of Kazimierz Dabrowski? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serendipitous journey Posted August 28, 2011 Author Share Posted August 28, 2011 ... thank you all for the ideas! I have read WTM a few times (the intro. and elementary sections, at least) but don't recall the timeline idea specifically ... I'll try to go over it again. The website on overexcitabilities had some new perspectives and ideas for me, which have been useful esp. in discussing the challenges with my husband and giving him a framework for the psychology of an intense, gifted little one. We do have a fairly scheduled life, and I do my best to give heads-ups before Activity Switching, but have been more vigilant about it since reading this suggestion; and also have felt less guilty about how regular their days are! the other families we know are much more flexible. Our general schedule is (I'll give it as our current solution to these challenges) up, dressed, breakfast, play a bit and I straighten; I have Aiden do a handwriting sheet, a page of MathUSee review, and then some phonics while I am managing the baby and helping him; we have outside time or general play; snack outside if possible or at a park/hike; lunch as a picnic or at home then play 'till baby naps at 1:30-1:45 and we start PM session 1:45-2:00. We start with the new math topic and some fact drills; read from a reader; maybe a short phonics drill and in between some running around/jumping/"obstacle course" in the living room. Then a ten to fifteen minute play break and a topic: science, history, geography or art usually. This usually takes us through to 3:30 -4:00 when baby wakes up, and after baby is up we have teatime; play and pick up; I walk while they are with my mother-in-law or we make dinner. Bunny play time, dinner, picking up and bunny away. Baths are sporadic here: it's tops and tails most days, esp. because baby can't be bathed regularly due to his very sensitive skin. Aiden has been doing very well on this schedule, which is lighter than I thought he'd find ideal; the advice to not do too much and to focus on his favorites was excellent. ... I do want to add more math enrichment stuff each week (one project from livingmath.net and/or the Family Math book) and some guitar and foreign language; but since he's thriving and I'm sleep-deprived I'm satisfied with a slowish build up over the next few months, and would like to have something closer to a full schedule by the holidays or no later than next August. thanks so much for the empathy and the help ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenbrdsly Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 It sounds like you are busy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Maybe it might help to do a more unit study type approach so he can make connections. I tend to feel "disjointed" and unorganized if we are studying too many "different" things. Maybe try to make reading go with your history and/or science studies. For example, when we were doing the ancients, we read myths and fairy tales from ancient cultures. I made science extremely hands on with lots of experiments, no matter how silly they might have seemed to me. What helped with perfectionism here was learning to play an instrument. It doesn't have to be an instrument but something that requires steps to learn, practice to achieve those steps, and not easily done just because the child is bright. Also, always praising effort rather than results and letting my kids watch me learn something new while making mistakes (when my boys were little I learned taekwondo along with them and taught myself to knit). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serendipitous journey Posted August 29, 2011 Author Share Posted August 29, 2011 For example, when we were doing the ancients, we read myths and fairy tales from ancient cultures. :lol: I tried that but he complained about the nonfiction reading. Why are you teaching me this if it's not true? he asked. I have a good answer for his literature selections, but the stuff that's just accompanying his history/science isn't so necessary so I dropped it. I think things are less disjointed than they seem; we usually hit history and science at least 2x/week each, and the history is Stories of Great Americans for Little Americans (soft, but I want to get some US history in and this fits most of my requirements) and the science is Body Science (anatomy). He occasionally watches videos on these topics, too. RE perfectionism: he does seem encouraged by the large number of mistakes I make each day ... :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minuway Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 (edited) How about doing everything in the morning? My dd6 is similar, and she seems to do better when we move through a fairly consistent morning ( for us it goes ETC sheets --> math ---> reading out loud ---> language lessons for the WTM ---> history/geography --->short science reading- DONE! Then she has the afternoon to do whatever interests her. It seems to cheer her that once she's done with the morning, she can do "fun stuff," which to her is usually science reading and math games. We will read more out loud later in the evening, but she doesn't think that's school. The only other things we do in the afternoons are art projects and music practice, and when her dad gets home they'll do a casual science review discussion. The other thing is that I don't make her do a certain number of pages in her math or phonics - some days she'll do one, other days she'll get crazy and do 6 - I just do whatever. Hope this helps - I know its hard to figure out what to do with this kind of kid. Edited August 30, 2011 by minuway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serendipitous journey Posted September 4, 2011 Author Share Posted September 4, 2011 How about doing everything in the morning? :iagree: This would be ideal except for little 14-month-old. He doesn't stay distracted for long, his presence makes it much harder for my older son to concentrate, and there are no other children to play with the toddler when we work. That's why I do Zaner-Bloser sheets & a review page of math in the am -- they are independent work for the older one -- and only phonics requires my attention; usually it gets done with me bouncing the little one on my hip or, weather permitting, with him working in the sandbox. Lately I've been trying to get the math fact reviews done in the AM too but he has more fun with them if we wait until baby sleeps. Except for readings during snacks/lunch (rapidly degenerating lately, since the smaller one is in a compulsive food-throwing stage) everything else happens during the afternoon nap. Energy levels are definitely lower but it seems the best solution under my current circumstances. The older son really thinks things through and processes, so a history read-aloud with the baby ends up being pretty one-way but the same read-aloud while baby naps generates real questions and conversations. With the changes we've incorporated things are going pretty smoothly now, but I'd like to be doing more with the older one and I think he'd enjoy it; I'm hoping that improving my organization will streamline things dramatically. Or at least a little :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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