Are you "visually stimulated" by attractive people?

[Zamis]

yes, but I don't keep looking..

[4wildberrys]

I was totally honest and voted 'Yes'----but I will say that certain 'feeling' is TOTALLY involuntary! I guess sometimes I just have a vivid imagination or some sort of rogue hormone is circulating that takes over my brain!! :glare: I really, really don't like it when this has happened because I am VERY happily married :confused:

[Lady Florida.]

Since "have you ever" was included, I voted yes. Currently, no I'm not sexually attracted to anyone other than my husband. But I do appreciate being able to visually enjoy a good looking man. And when I was single, good looking men most definitely aroused sexual feelings. Isn't that how we find a mate? Attraction, at least for many, includes physical (sexual) mental, and emotional attraction. Usually physical attraction, which can be different for different people, comes first. Then we get to know a person and decide if we really are interested.

[Tangerine]

Isn't that how we find a mate?

 

Exactly! Are people having totally chaste courtships without the hint of even a *desire* for the other person? That doesn't seem it would translate well after the ceremony.

[simka2]

Of course! My dh is a walking Matt Damon/Mark Wahlberg! ;) I think people are beautiful in many different ways, including sexually.

[Veritaserum]

Exactly! Are people having totally chaste courtships without the hint of even a *desire* for the other person? That doesn't seem it would translate well after the ceremony.

 

No kidding! Especially considering that the subcultures that promote "purity" and "courtship" are the same ones that promote large families. Sexual attraction is an important part of marriage and it was on my list when I chose my mate. Other things were certainly higher on the list, but good chemistry was a must. Perhaps I learned that lesson from watching my parents. They are not a good match sexually and it's painful to see the lack of intimacy that results.

[Lynnette in WA]

I voted yes, but it's not as if I go looking for good-looking men -- it's usually very unexpected! I like to think I'm this mature 50yo, but on occasion, I feel like a boy-crazy 14yo. A few months ago, I went to the pharmacy to drop off a prescription and a new pharmacist himself came to the counter to help me. I looked at him and, suddenly, I stuttered and stammered, got all sweaty-palmed, and flushed -- he was that good-looking! How embarrassing! Now I discreetly look for him every time I visit the grocery store, just to give myself a little lift for the day. :)

 

Usually, though, it's a voice that will attract me -- say, maybe, Sting (although he looks pretty good for his age, so maybe it's his looks, too).

[Crimson Wife]

Exactly! Are people having totally chaste courtships without the hint of even a *desire* for the other person? That doesn't seem it would translate well after the ceremony.

 

It seems like most of the folks I've encountered who support the "virgin lips" courtship model believe in marrying very young and having short engagements. To me, this seems rather penny-wise and pound-foolish as those things raise the risk of divorce quite a bit.

 

I'd like my kids to court rather than date and pray that they'll be able to resist temptation long enough to make it to their wedding nights. But it's more important to me that they avoid divorce than totally avoid premarital intimacy with their future spouse.

[Plucky]

I think if you've ever thought an actor or actress was sooo handsome/cute/beautiful then it applies. There is nothing wrong with it. It is the way God made us. It's not like seeing someone attractive is going to change our love for our spouses.

[Gratia271]

:iagree:

 

Definitely, in my case too. A simple mental "statement" to myself of having seen an aesthetically pleasing person is one thing - but whether I further that thought to an erotic level with the accompanying thoughts is a conscious choice. Before I get there, I stop.

:iagree: As some others have stated, it is a "mental" thing for me.