Airplane Seating and a Naive Mommy

[eternalknot]

It is against FAA regulations for a parent to be seated separately from a young child; I can't remember the age limit, but it is higher than 5!

 

That said, I found out afterward about the FAA regulation that said this should not happen, and so I tell it to you now. :0)

 

I can't find any FAR that specifies this - any chance you remember who told it to you, or any more details about the regulation? The FAA doesn't set guidelines for unaccompanied minors, and some airlines allow unaccompanied travel by a minor beginning at age 5. It would seem to contradict any FAR about parents being seated separately from a young child; that would seem more the jurisdiction of the airline IMO/IME.

 

(I don't doubt you were told this - but I question the validity of the information, and am interested in looking into it further so I know for sure what the FAR is.)

[eternalknot]

And to the OP:

 

I wouldn't worry. Travel is kind of a crapshoot - sometimes you get a great crowd of people, and sometimes you get ... not a great crowd of people. Airline travel is stressful for everyone, and --as someone who travels by plane for a living-- let me just say that by the time people get their butts into their assigned seats, they're at the end of their rope. Just like you, a fellow traveler. Getting to the airport, security, lines, issues at the gate, slow boarding, paying a la carte for every last little thing, ... normally pleasant people get really grumpy until we're up in the air.

 

Many people get spiteful. Many people see through guises. Many people are super jaded because these days everyone has an excuse for something. Many people would rather see if your kid is really going to vomit (if you threatened when denied a seat change and had to leave the kid alone), or simply do not care if your kid vomits. They stay in their seat on principle, sometimes more upset at the airline than at you ... but you're the lucky recipient of their frustration. Genuine niceness goes a long way. People don't like when people assume they'll trade seats, or if they come across as feeling entitled to uprooting others from their assigned seats. This applies to couples wanting to sit together as well as parents with children.

 

IME (and this is an area in which I have extensive experience) it's all about how you come across. Occasionally even the nicest person will get a rude NO, but most of the time people will move IF they feel the parent is apologetic in asking or otherwise hopeful-but-not-expectant. That's human nature, especially after surviving the experience that is getting from one's car to one's assigned airplane seat. Based on your post, you seem to be the kind of person people will want to help; I wouldn't worry. Good luck, mama.

[Imprimis]

I think assumptions are being made. First of all, that everyone in the general public should be willing to accomodate a family. I don't see it as the responsibility of the general public. Yes, its a courtesy, but not a responsibility.

 

Second, you don't know what the situation is with the other person.

 

For myself, if I ever have to fly again, I will absolutely be booking a seat so that my right arm is against the window. And there's no way I would switch that seat for anyone or anything.

 

Not a matter of being rude, unkind, inconsiderate, or a jerk. A matter of my right arm has RSD. Having that arm brushed, bumped, etc would have me in increasing, screaming pain for hours. And unless I'm against the window, its going to happen on a plane.

 

And honestly, I don't think I owe an explaination of my medical condition to others on the plane. I'd simply say no.

 

I agree.

 

There are a myriad of VALID reasons (and some may not be apparent) why someone might refuse to switch seats on a flight. There is no reason to assume someone is heartless, rude, or inconsiderate because they are not willing to give up his/her seat.

Edited June 27, 2011 by Imprimis

[mellie]

Who are you flying with? There have been a couple of instances lately where airlines have received negative attention for letting under 5's fly without being seated next to parents. Hence, I think the airlines are probably falling over themselves now to ensure this does not happen. I recently had the same issue. I booked flights to Mexico and wasn't able to confirm that my 5 year old was sat next to me. I called the airline (US Airways) and the customer service rep instantly seated us altogether in the front row. They always reserve that row for people with disabilities/young children, etc. and you usually can't book it in advance. They hold it for situations, such as you find yourself in.

 

If I were you I would call customer service and explain your concern. I am sure the operator will switch your seats or advise you to get to the airport early so they can ensure you are seated together. Worse case scenario is that someone will switch with you. Most people have children and I cannot imagine the majority of human beings being so lacking in compassion as to refuse, in this case.

[july19]

The airline phone call yesterday morning was pretty non-eventful (there aren't two seats available that are next to each other) but she did say to come early and we can discuss asking to switch with someone at boarding. She was very friendly and understanding, and when I asked about our connecting flight (one that we *can't* be there early for since there is only 35 minutes between flights) she said that she can press a note going forward once we check in that day.

 

We are flying with AirTran. I've never even heard of them before this trip, so I don't know how family friendly they are or anything. Like I said, she was very friendly and I was thankful :001_smile:

[WishboneDawn]

You should be able to sign up for your seats 24 hours or more before your flight if you register/check-in online. I did this two years ago - it was really easy and we just did our check-in online and printed our boarding passes on our computers. We chose our seats and it was quite easy. I sat next to my friend. I would not be worried, but would be proactive - call the airlines and see what their check-in policies are.

 

I always do this so I can get the emergency exit seats - more leg room. I was beginning to think maybe it was just something the Canadian airlines offered.

[lcelmer]

Main point to all who have kids.. PAY THE EXTRA TO GET SEATS TOGETHER!!! :D

 

Really, most people may be willing to move, but should they have to?

 

Nope, if you need to sit by people on your party, pay to choose the seats. :)

[july19]

Main point to all who have kids.. PAY THE EXTRA TO GET SEATS TOGETHER!!! :D

 

Really, most people may be willing to move, but should they have to?

 

Nope, if you need to sit by people on your party, pay to choose the seats. :)

 

My point is that I didn't know. If I had known, I would have paid. But I didn't. The point was NOT whether people should *have* to move at all. I'm willing to have him sit alone and be scared since it's my fault for not knowing. I'm not going to be asking a dozen people to move. If someone offers, wonderful. But I'm willing to pay for my mistake.

Edited June 28, 2011 by july19
Too defensive, which is why I asked to not be flamed. I'm sorry.

[RanchGirl]

My point is that I didn't know. If I had known, I would have paid. But I didn't. The point was NOT whether people should *have* to move at all. I'm willing to have him sit alone and be scared since it's my fault for not knowing. I'm not going to be asking a dozen people to move. If someone offers, wonderful. But I'm willing to pay for my mistake.

 

 

I don't see a problem with you asking a dozen people to move. I would certainly do this before letting the child sit alone and scared. What's the worst tht can happen if you ask someone -they say no. It doesnt hurt to ask. But not many will even notice he's your child sitting separately from you so don't just wait for someone to offer.

[Jenny in Florida]

My point is that I didn't know. If I had known, I would have paid. But I didn't. The point was NOT whether people should *have* to move at all. I'm willing to have him sit alone and be scared since it's my fault for not knowing. I'm not going to be asking a dozen people to move. If someone offers, wonderful. But I'm willing to pay for my mistake.

 

I've never heard of having to pay to choose your seats.

 

We flew Orlando to New York and back last month and had seats assigned all over the plane. It wasn't a huge deal for us, since our kids are both teens. But the trip was my daughter's graduation present, and she was a little sad we weren't sitting together.

 

On the way there, three of us were seated one in front of the other in middle seats, while the fourth was several rows ahead. On the way back, we weren't anywhere near each other.

 

The second flight, my husband begged and pleaded, and they managed to change our seats so that each adult was next to one of the kids. Still not in keeping with the celebratory atmosphere we wanted, though.

 

My point is that nothing we saw during the booking process gave us any hint that we had the option to pay extra to select seats. We would have done that in a heartbeat. It wasn't offered.

[sunshine_librarian]

Our newspaper just ran a story in the last week or so about seat assignments and plane reservations. They said that if a seat assignment is not given when you make the reservation that you do not have an assigned seat and may be bumped. That's how they do the overbooking to keep flights full now, according to the article. Not too helpful in this case, but good to know for future trips, since they said it can be a real hassle when multiple legs or a cruise ship may be affected by being bumped.

[Aelwydd]

The airline phone call yesterday morning was pretty non-eventful (there aren't two seats available that are next to each other) but she did say to come early and we can discuss asking to switch with someone at boarding. She was very friendly and understanding, and when I asked about our connecting flight (one that we *can't* be there early for since there is only 35 minutes between flights) she said that she can press a note going forward once we check in that day.

 

We are flying with AirTran. I've never even heard of them before this trip, so I don't know how family friendly they are or anything. Like I said, she was very friendly and I was thankful :001_smile:

 

Yay, I'm glad you called! Air Tran is usually pretty decent in their customer service. Just get there early like the rep said, and you should be alright. You probably won't even need to ask if someone will switch.

 

Reservations agents (like you spoke with) don't always know how airport gate agents assign seats, or that some seats are assigned day-of-departure only. Like, when I was an agent, we always had the first row of seats behind the bulkhead off-limits to any pre-selection online or through reservations. I would typically only assign those seats to people who had physical disabilities, families with small children, or children traveling alone.

 

Also, there are typically at least a few passengers who don't show up for flights, or show up too late. Once it gets close to departure time, agents start releasing those seat assignments, to be reassigned to passengers like yourself, or to stand-by passengers.

 

Furthermore, the agent at the departure city should be able to get you assigned seats on the second leg of your journey as well. Not always, but usually this is the case. So long as you get there early enough that there's still some inventory for the agent to work with!

 

And even if all that fails, I still think there would be at least one person on the flight willing to switch with you. I have faith that there are many decent folks who would have no issue helping you out. ;)

Edited June 28, 2011 by Aelwydd

[MtnTeaching]

I don't see a problem with you asking a dozen people to move. I would certainly do this before letting the child sit alone and scared. What's the worst tht can happen if you ask someone -they say no. It doesnt hurt to ask. But not many will even notice he's your child sitting separately from you so don't just wait for someone to offer.

 

:iagree:I would stand at the front of the airplane and ask politely if anyone would be so kind as to swap a seat with you so that you could sit next to your young child.

 

Hopefully, within the 150 to 300 people you have on the plane, you will find someone with some semblance of manners and goodness left in this selfish "I paid for it so it is mine" society. I do believe there are good people like this left out there. You just have to excuse some of the other people when they get onto airplanes- for some reason it seems as if their manners and civility just leaks out of their heads along with their brains.

 

I was a flight attendant for many years back when full meals were served - with hot soup. I was not allowed to sit and read magazines or I would have been fired. I handed out decks of cards, pinned countless plastic wings on wiggling 3 year-olds, fluffed pillows, spread blankets, mixed drinks, poured coffee and champagne, and handed out magazines. I've acted as a marriage counselor, broken up "mile-high" clubs, held babies so moms could go to the bathroom, and held the hands of grieving relatives heading to see their loved ones off for their final journey. I've been given a rose by a former US President and been asked to go "boogie" by "Mr. T".

 

I've also been cursed at, spat on, and had every visible body part grabbed. Like I said, for some people, manners and civility just seem to evaporate when they enter a jetway. Luckily, most people are able to retain said manners and civility and I am sure you will find those people on your flight.

 

(In the rare case you are not, just remind the person sitting next to your child that in the event of a sudden decompression, they will be the one responsible for putting the airmask over the child's nose and mouth and pulling the little white cords to tighten it. Remember to say this in a very serious tone and you will probably be offered the seat with no resistance.)