AngelBee Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 I am having trouble keeping the kids from fighting and being loud, even when we are working on fun projects. Them seem to be really dsefensive and protective of "their" stuff. This is all of them 11 and under. I think my head may pop! :001_huh: Right now we are doing free play with 2 sets of MUS blocks. It is like a war zone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 Well, I'm not exactly sure about your situation, but my 2 boys (age 8 & 7) are very much that way and the only way I can manage is just to be hard-nosed. We don't do a lot of "fun" things because it just gets out of control. I feel bad. Tried to play a spelling game (a variation on the basketball game Horse) this morning and everyone was hitting, throwing the ball at each other and then pouting when they missed a word. And I'm standing there ticked off yelling, "This is why we do not play spelling games!":mad: I just separate the kids when I can and forget about trying to make school "fun". I'm sorry I have no other advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 Well, I'm not exactly sure about your situation, but my 2 boys (age 8 & 7) are very much that way and the only way I can manage is just to be hard-nosed. We don't do a lot of "fun" things because it just gets out of control. I feel bad. Tried to play a spelling game (a variation on the basketball game Horse) this morning and everyone was hitting, throwing the ball at each other and then pouting when they missed a word. And I'm standing there ticked off yelling, "This is why we do not play spelling games!":mad: I just separate the kids when I can and forget about trying to make school "fun". I'm sorry I have no other advice. :grouphug: You know, I am about to go that route. Or to do fun stuff only one on one. I am about to do a boot camp of sorts. "Oh honey, if you can't play MUS blocks without taking every last one for yourself, then you can still silently in the armchair until the others are done." I am debating if a timer would help. Like ok 10 mins of block play. Then if they want to waste it fighting that is their problem. I just don't want to be an ogor or a referee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 You might have to be the bad guy for a while until they know you won't accept their behavior. I would send them to a time out spot or their room until they can play nicely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virg Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 UGH my twins are soooo competitive they do okay with manipulatives and such but anything where someone "wins" or there is a score I had to stop for at least school time. It drives me nuts! Scratch that my oldest DSS is competitive too! I had to ban football containing games because DSS FIFTEEN will come running in to tell me how he scored on the ten year-old, who is a foot shorter. Then ten year-old comes in crying because big brother is so mean and knocked him down to get the ball. AGGHHHH I want to tell them they can never play together and keep them separated until they are 18! (I can see why that might not be an effective parenting method though:lol:) Sorry have no effective advice, none of my methods have worked so far! I will be watching eagerly to see if there is any advice I can use too! :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 I send my boys (7 and 4) to their room and tell them not to come out until they are ready to stop fighting. It works usually. Even though most of their toys are in their room they get bored. Somehow it also seems to unite them (they are both then mad at me) so when they come out they are on the same "team" again and not fighting as much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 Thank goodness this is happening to others. I was starting to think my kids were just meanies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 I bought those poster board displays, the folding kinds, and made "cubicles" for my boys years ago. They weren't allowed to look outside their cubicle or make noise. I haven't had to do that with my girls yet, but I am constantly training dd11 not to feed into dd8's antics. It's a never ending process, one that I have to constantly have to work at with myself! Dd8 loves to spend her day pushing dd11 and my buttons. I show NO reaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 I bought those poster board displays, the folding kinds, and made "cubicles" for my boys years ago. They weren't allowed to look outside their cubicle or make noise. I haven't had to do that with my girls yet, but I am constantly training dd11 not to feed into dd8's antics. It's a never ending process, one that I have to constantly have to work at with myself! Dd8 loves to spend her day pushing dd11 and my buttons. I show NO reaction. Good idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 This is when it is really handy to have a Principal's Office :D Maybe you could threaten to send them off to some particularly mean neighbor :tongue_smilie: We used to strike fear in our son's heart my telling him if he didn't straighten out pronto that we would send him off to see "Mean Joe" (Jackson), the father of the late King of Pop Michael Jackson, who lives down the street. That changed attitudes real fast around here I'll tell you true :lol: So we're shameless. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 When my kids started squabbling or distracting one another during school, I set up a demerit system. Two demerits = one 5-minute chore. They had to do the chore immediately, then return to school. The first chores on the list were the most disagreeable, cleaning the bathrooms, starting with the toilets. This was effective. Boys don't like cleaning toilets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 When my kids started squabbling or distracting one another during school, I set up a demerit system. Two demerits = one 5-minute chore. They had to do the chore immediately, then return to school. The first chores on the list were the most disagreeable, cleaning the bathrooms, starting with the toilets. This was effective. Boys don't like cleaning toilets. Extra cleaning. That could help bad behaviors and make dh happy all at once! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reet3 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 My twins also fight constantly and are terribly competitive. I don't HS them yet, just their older sister, because I'm terrified that I'll have to deal with that all day long, all year long. But, I'd love to bring them home soon. This summer I'm trying something to "train" them to think before they fight. We've been at it for almost a week and so far so good. I made a chart that allows me to evaluate behavior every hour from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. When they get 20 check marks, I take them to get a scoop of ice cream. When we first started, I had to remind them when things (frequently) started escalating. Sometimes it didn't matter to them. Now they seem to react more quickly to more gentle reminders. So far so good. I can't keep up this forever, so when the chart is full on Monday, I'll tell them that now, it gets harder--25 for ice cream. Hopefully it will train them over a few weeks to think before they speak/act. (I hope so, because those ice cream scoops take a chunk of change.) I'm enjoying reading everyone's solutions. Lots of great ideas here. Maybe I can do this hs thing with twins after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black_midori Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Well, I'm not exactly sure about your situation, but my 2 boys (age 8 & 7) are very much that way and the only way I can manage is just to be hard-nosed. We don't do a lot of "fun" things because it just gets out of control. I feel bad. Tried to play a spelling game (a variation on the basketball game Horse) this morning and everyone was hitting, throwing the ball at each other and then pouting when they missed a word. And I'm standing there ticked off yelling, "This is why we do not play spelling games!":mad: I just separate the kids when I can and forget about trying to make school "fun". I'm sorry I have no other advice. I couldn't help but laugh at this picture - since just this afternoon I sat in my school room ticked off yelling "This is why I hate science experiments!" when the kids got overly enthusiastic and made a mess... it's good to know I'm not alone! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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