How sick is too sick....

[sassyscrapperinid]

Hi Everyone-

I have a question for y'all. I started babysitting out of my home in January of this year. I really enjoy it- usually. However, when she started bringing the DC over, the children were sick. As a result, my family was sick for about 2 and a half weeks. Then they got better and have been relatively healthy for a while. This morning when the mom dropped them off, I noticed one of them coughing. The mom didnt say anything about it. I didnt think much of it. Then, very rapidly, the situation got worse. Long story short, I have been coughed and snotted on all day long. And I mean snotted on. Snot flying while sneezing, and rubbed all over my shirt and on my face snotted on. One of the DC even coughed in one of my childrens face, even after I asked her not to. Neither of the DC had a fever today. I have been rubbing them with vicks to help, with little results. I feel terrible for them that they are feeling so badly. They arent catatonic or anything. However, one of them wasnt quite himself- which is understandable considering how sick he is. I really feel for all the parents out there who work and have to leave their children in a daycare situation. Considering the mom hired me after meeting me once for about 45 minutes, I am glad that I am caring for her DC and not some whacko. Sorry to vent but its been a long long day. :blink: Anyways- my question for you all is this: how sick is too sick to take your child to a babysitter/daycare? I dont know that I would be able to do it. I understand that they have to work, but I also have another job in addition to the babysitting, and I cant afford to be sick. And then you have the issue of my DH and DC getting sick too. Do I have a right to even say anything? Their dad picked them up today and told them they would be meeting mommy at bible study. To which I said "ummm they are a bit sick. dont know if you want to take them there." Alls he asked was if they had a fever. Dont misunderstand me, they are well cared for children. Very clean and well fed and such- so its definitely NOT a neglect case or anything. She is a good mom.... please help me to know what the limits are... this is my first time babysitting someone elses children on a full time basis. Thanks so much for reading this and all your advice (in advance)!!

[3lilreds in NC]

I think their response is pretty typical for parents who depend on daycare. If they don't have a fever, they have to go, most of the time. This is NOT a criticism! My sister is a doctor, and she works 3 days a week. She adores her children and is an amazing mom. But - she has sent her kids to daycare, knowing they were sick, but feeling like she had no other choice.

 

It comes down to what *you* can tolerate, and you need to make it clear to the parents and not let the kids stay if they are sick.

 

Our preschool has a rule of no fever for 24 hours and no green snot. The green snot thing is a little questionable, as it can be allergies, but they really don't want kids there if they are sick. I would have been very tempted to call the parents in the situation you had today, particularly knowing that your entire family will most likely get sick because of it.

 

It's so hard. If I were single and babysitting, I would tolerate a lot more than I would now, with my own kids and dh to consider.

 

:grouphug: This is a tough situation. I'm sorry I don't have better advice. I do have renewed thankfulness that I don't have to send my kids to day care when they are sick. I'm so glad those little ones have you to take care of them, too.

[Celia]

In that situation, I would have called a parent to come pick them up early (and would have expected to have been called when my son was in daycare).

 

If they're coughing very much (not a nagging post viral cough), oozing snot and sneezing, or have fevers, that's what I would consider too sick to be around other people.

 

You're not being unreasonable. If you're scheduled to sit them again tomorrow, I would phone the mom tonight and talk to her. Furthermore, if your time has been scheduled, and the kids are sick and can't come, you should still be paid for that time.

 

I would learn from this situation, and write yourself up a written policy of how you want to deal with sicknesses, and present that to any future families before you agree to sit their kids.

[LisaKinVA]

Fever free for at least 24 hours.

No discolored mucus.

No vomiting/diarhea for at least 24 hours.

 

Allergies can sound a lot like colds... but aren't contagious. However, proper hygeine (coughing ettiquite), etc. has to be learned/practiced too.

 

I know with my kids they can be perfectly fine one moment and the next... running for the nearest trash can or toilet. Kids can also be contagious and non-symptomatic.

 

However, with my kids... we generally follow the guidelines above. And if one has it, we pretty much assume they all do.

[sassyscrapperinid]

Well, and I am afraid that if I do say anything, then the mom will get upset and find someone who is willing to be snotted on, ya' know? I cant afford to lose them and would miss the DC very much! I really do feel for her situation... since my DH is out of work right now, I feel blessed in that if my children are sick I can leave them home with him or my older children. Its just been a long day.... Thanks for listening. ;)

[3lilreds in NC]

I think it's at least worth discussing with the parents. It doesn't seem fair to me that they would expect you to be more accommodating than any other day care situation, simply because they come to your home. I know you don't want to lose them, and I understand that. I think it's an appropriate discussion to have, though.

[Tap]

Basic colds are pretty fair game at daycare.

 

Like others have said, the standards are

no fever over 100*

no colored mucous (okay with an allergy diagnosis)

no diarrhea/nausea or fever for 24 hours

no undiagnosed skin rashes

no eye discharge

 

as a parent who has used daycare for 16 years, I also expect to be called if my child is majorly grumpy or really out of sorts.....ie it is obvious that they are going to be sick that night, but the fever hasn't hit yet.

Edited March 22, 2011 by Tap, tap, tap

[KristinaBreece]

When do you decide your DC are too sick & cancel on the parents? (Getting ready to make that call myself, for tomorrow... )

[gardening momma]

I understand not wanting yourself or your family to get sick. We have gotten sick 4 times in the last 3 months from people coming to church sick. :glare: That's usually my average for 1-2 years.

 

But I think babysitting/daycare comes with such risks. I understand the quandry the parents are in when they have to work and have to have daycare. So....can you charge extra for taking sick kids? (as long as it's not throwing-up sick, then I'd expect parents to pick up their child.) Not just on sick days, but raise your weekly charge? In other words, you'd be willing to be snotted on for a price.

 

You will have to suffer through more illnesses in your family, though.

[sassyscrapperinid]

I think if it were me, I would call her and say they couldnt come if my kids were snotting all over, coughing horribly, had a fever over 100, vomitting, diarrhea. I think I would have just appreciated a heads up last night that they were sick, if indeed they were sick ast night as well.

When do you decide your DC are too sick & cancel on the parents? (Getting ready to make that call myself, for tomorrow... )

[KristinaBreece]

I think if it were me, I would call her and say they couldnt come if my kids were snotting all over, coughing horribly, had a fever over 100, vomitting, diarrhea. I think I would have just appreciated a heads up last night that they were sick, if indeed they were sick ast night as well.

 

Yeah. I keep a 5-y-o boy & his 1-y-o sister, and I did tell her when she picked them up tonight that DS had started to "act" sick. Now I have two poopy, vomiting casualties (DD & DS both) of what I really hope is a minor stomach virus, and not something like Rotavirus.

[sassyscrapperinid]

I understand not wanting yourself or your family to get sick. We have gotten sick 4 times in the last 3 months from people coming to church sick. :glare: That's usually my average for 1-2 years.

 

But I think babysitting/daycare comes with such risks. I understand the quandry the parents are in when they have to work and have to have daycare. So....can you charge extra for taking sick kids? (as long as it's not throwing-up sick, then I'd expect parents to pick up their child.) Not just on sick days, but raise your weekly charge? In other words, you'd be willing to be snotted on for a price.

 

You will have to suffer through more illnesses in your family, though.

 

That was one of the things I absolutely HATED about church when we used to go. There was this one family who would even bring their kids to church with pink eye!!! We were always sick because of them coming to church sick. I think we missed a couple months just trying to recover and at that time all my kids (9 of them) were between the ages of 2 and 14. It was rough. I feel for you! Some of the members came by to see what was wrong- LOL. And since I am usually not one to mince words, I told them pretty matter of factly what was going on. Alls they said was "oh". :ohmy: So.... as far as would I be willing to be snotted on for a price ( have to giggle a litte while I type that LOL)- ummmm I might be... if I knew how to guard my childrens immune system better so we dont get sick as much.

 

Thanks for the thoughts everyone!!