Need Wisdom on how to deal with sensitive information

[Tohru]

A few years ago I found out that the owner of a local gymnastic school had been convicted of molesting an 11yo girl back in 1987 in a different state. The charge was of fondling her breasts. They were found with the girl sitting on his lap. According to him, it was because she was typing. He served 30 days, was put on probation, was not allowed to be around minor females during his probation, had to get counseling, and pay for her counseling. He ignored all that, moved to our state and opened a new gym here in town. About a year later, he was caught and had to return to his original state to complete his sentencing. After which, he came back here and re-opened another gym.

 

We found out about the incident because another homeschool group leader told us and provided substantial evidence in the form of a newspaper article dated from 1988.

 

Anyway, it's been several years...maybe 4-5 since we found out and have not had dealings with him or his gym. Since then, we became part of a different homeschool group, with lots of new residents that don't know about the incident.

 

Now the sex offender registry wasn't enacted until the mid-90's so he is not a registered sex offender. He currently is owner, a coach and teaches classes to kids. His gym caters to homeschoolers, offering homeschool classes and open trampoline time. It is a very fun place for kids.

 

It's been 23 years since his conviction, however I don't know if it's appropriate to share the information or not. I recently did tell a group leader about it and she informed the rest of the group. One of the moms said it seemed petty because it happened so long ago. My thought is that parents should know so they can at least be cautious.

 

How would you deal with this information?

The group leader I told was for a very small group of less than 30 families. I'm part of another group of over 300 and am not sure if I should share the information.

Is it being petty?

Would I just be creating gossip because of how long ago it happened?

Edited March 21, 2011 by jadedone80

[HeidiKC]

Petty???? HECK NO! Wouldn't you want to know about something like that? I am surprised that mom dismissed it because it happened long ago. I am pretty sure it's a known fact the sex offenders don't change (unless it's a change for the worse!).

 

I think you definitely need to get the word out to protect those kids. I would be very surprised if he hasn't been up to his old tricks since he's been in town. Think of the lives that could be seriously messed up if you don't speak up. I don't mean to put that pressure on you, but I think it's important. This isn't petty gossip, this is serious - kids' lives.

 

Hopefully someone else will have some better idea of how to tell it. Could you contact the state sex offender registry or something like that and ask them for advice? I didn't realize it was only people who offended after the mid-90's that had to be registered. YIKES.

 

I think that however you decide to break the news, you need some evidence (case number or whatever).

 

Good luck and you're a good person to be concerned!

[simka2]

nm

[Peek a Boo]

I agree w/ Heidi. Chances are he was only CAUGHT once...no telling what has happened before and after. Most molestations go unreported.

 

I'd scan the article and post it online.

You also need to confront him and get his side of the story. I'd record that conversation and make sure you're not the only one.

[Ailaena]

1. I know this situation very well, and I can tell you that most people at the gym know, and no one cares. Seriously, no one. They all just blow it off, which freaked me out more than anything when I found out.

 

2. The man in question has very little contact with any of the kids. He occasionally teaches a class, but not very often. I sound like I am defending him, but I am not. This is a fact.

 

3.

. I would be very surprised if he hasn't been up to his old tricks since he's been in town.

I am typically non-confrontational, but what an f'd up blanket statement to make.

 

4. It gets worse. I am Pm-ing you

[Tohru]

He was teaching the homeschool class to my child when I found out. I pulled my son out and so did both my friends, but this was quite a few years ago.

 

My worry is that people would overreact and immediately condemn....or just think it's petty, like the one mom claimed. I personally believe people can change, but in situations like this, I would want to be informed.

[Jennifer3141]

It sounds like he (eventually) completed his sentence. On the one hand, I see the mom's viewpoint that it happened a long time ago and nothing has been legally proven since. I do believe that people can change, yada, yada, yada.

 

However, I'd want to know. Abso-freaking-lutely. Whether you should bring it to the entire group of 300, only you can have a grasp of that. I would definitely tell any and all of my friends who might go to this guy's gym. I'd watch him like a hawk personally.

 

I think people can change. But I'm not sure this guy did. If you're an alcoholic, a liquor store might not be the best place for you. If you're a pedophile, I can think of other careers for you besides the same environment that caused you so many problems in the past...

 

I also would question the intelligence of anyone who would open a business like this with his past. How many stupid people are we going to catch nowadays???

[Jean in Newcastle]

Yes, they should know. Now that they know they can decide whether to risk having their kids with him or at his gym or not. Personally it is not a risk I'd be willing to make.