Experienced moms: When will my 18-months-apart boys "synchronize"?

[Manhattan_Mom]

My two boys are 15-months and 33-months-old currently (18 months apart).

 

It's a tough age spread now. The almost three year old wants to build things and listen to books with plots and chapters. The 15-month-old want to destroy things and only sits though board books he has heard a hundred times.

 

My question: when do you think they will roughly "synchronize" and be able to share activities? When can I read the same book to BOTH of them and play the same games with BOTH of them?

 

4 and 5 1/2? 3 and 4 1/2??

 

An 18-month-old plus a newborn was really tough, then I feel like there was a sweet spot when the baby could sit-up but not crawl and would just listen to any book. Now that the little one walks and exhibits options.... ouch! Please tell me it gets easier. Our family is complete, so this is it.

 

Thanks for your thoughts.

 

-Caitlin

[bagel270]

By the time my boys were two and three (17 months apart) they were playing and doing the same things. I don't think you will have to wait too much longer. However, the whole knocking down what someone else made thing, that takes a lot more work.

[Lovin Learnin]

I agree that it will be soon. My boys are 16 mo. apart and were the best of friends until, oh...high school. It was then that they began to butt heads. It's getting better now that oldest is in college. Absence makes the heart...

[GraciebytheBay]

If memory serves me, mine were just a little older than yours (maybe 1/2-1 year older) when I noticed that life was easier because of this synchronization! Hopefully not much longer for you. : )

[Miss Marple]

I agree that it will be soon. My boys are 16 mo. apart and were the best of friends until, oh...high school. It was then that they began to butt heads. It's getting better now that oldest is in college. Absence makes the heart...

 

:iagree:I have 16 month apart boys as well. We are in the "head butting" stage right now :glare: I'm glad to hear there is hope for the future :D

 

I did find that the youngest boy was the most aggressive and was able to hold his own at around 3 years old. He was never a "baby". He always wanted to be "older". He is super competitive and heaven help the one who says he's too young to do something. He will prove them wrong. That personality helped him mesh better with the older boys at an early age. Shoot, he could beat them on computer games before he could read or even knew his alphabet.

[Manhattan_Mom]

Thanks for the replies! I'm encouraged!! :)

[Lovin Learnin]

:iagree:I have 16 month apart boys as well. We are in the "head butting" stage right now :glare: I'm glad to hear there is hope for the future :D

 

I did find that the youngest boy was the most aggressive and was able to hold his own at around 3 years old. He was never a "baby". He always wanted to be "older". He is super competitive and heaven help the one who says he's too young to do something. He will prove them wrong. That personality helped him mesh better with the older boys at an early age. Shoot, he could beat them on computer games before he could read or even knew his alphabet.

 

LOL! I did not have the same experience. My oldest is definitely the "alpha" type. I think this is why mine clashed so much in high school. Younger ds began to assert himself and buck his brother's influence/direction. It was a growth/learning experience for both.

[Storm Bay]

However, the whole knocking down what someone else made thing, that takes a lot more work.

That's because it's so much fun to knock things down that someone else builds;). It will happen, though. However, that doesn't mean there won't be any disagreements, of course.

[coffeegal]

My question: when do you think they will roughly "synchronize" and be able to share activities? When can I read the same book to BOTH of them and play the same games with BOTH of them?

 

Thanks for your thoughts.

 

-Caitlin

 

I don't know, my boys (not quite 13 months apart) synchronized from the beginning. When one was pulling out the toilet paper, the other was smearing tooth paste on the walls. When one was tossing sugar onto the floor, the other was digging into drawer for utensils to use in the 'sand box'. :001_huh: I tried to introduce play-do and they both sat, watched me, and ate the play-do. :tongue_smilie:

 

Seriously, I suspect in a year or so they'll synchronize better. 3 and 4 yos can do much more together than 1 1/2 and 3yos. :001_smile:

[Karenciavo]

:lol: funny.

I think personality has a lot to do with it too. My older boys were synchronized when young, now that they are teens and ds17 thinks he's ds16's second father they are less so.

 

I don't know, my boys (not quite 13 months apart) synchronized from the beginning. When one was pulling out the toilet paper, the other was smearing tooth paste on the walls. When one was tossing sugar onto the floor, the other was digging into drawer for utensils to use in the 'sand box'. :001_huh: I tried to introduce play-do and they both sat, watched me, and ate the play-do. :tongue_smilie:

 

Seriously, I suspect in a year or so they'll synchronize better. 3 and 4 yos can do much more together than 1 1/2 and 3yos. :001_smile:

[Miss Marple]

LOL! I did not have the same experience. My oldest is definitely the "alpha" type. I think this is why mine clashed so much in high school. Younger ds began to assert himself and buck his brother's influence/direction. It was a growth/learning experience for both.

 

LOL! My youngest boy was out to prove himself from the time he was aware of his surroundings. He was like the new little rooster. Unfortunately ds#3 is so totally opposite - noncompetitive - he just wants to have peace. Ds#4 is academically capable of passing ds#3 due to his competitive nature as well. Sigh - I'm just waiting for him to finally feel he has nothing left to prove.

[happypamama]

Probably not too much longer, and it may depend on your younger son's temperament. My boys are 3y8m apart, but they enjoyed the same sorts of toys and such fairly early, maybe by the time DS2 was a bit over a year or so? (Like, they'd both play with trucks or trains, even if slightly differently.) Though not for books and such yet; that has only happened recently, and DS2 is 28 months. DS2 is very much a "I'm going to keep up with my big brother" sort of child, though, so ymmv. (DS1, otoh, was not like that; it didn't really bother him that his older sister would do different things than he did.)

[Beach Mom]

I suspect you are almost there. Mine were about 2 and 3 1/2 when they really started to hang together. Once the youngest was old enough to zoom cars around and focus for more than 2 minutes, and the oldest was old enough to learn to share :glare: things got more calm.

 

My encouragement to you, is to say that now that my boys are 8 and 9 they are a delight. 95% of the time they play wonderfully together. They can spend hours outside together, build legos together, play with friends in the neighborhood and are generally heartwarming to watch. The other 5% of the time they are sitting on each other, pushing, shoving and attempting to one up each other. My DH assures me that the last part is just "normal brother behavior". :D

 

The best advice I got was to enjoy the moments in each phase they pass through, they pass too quickly.

[kathkath]

My 6yo and 4yo are about 20m apart and have played wonderfully together for a very long time now. Now they can play boardgames. I bet it won't be long for them to build thing together, and once your younger one hits about 3 they can do simple games. Mine have successfully played games like Cariboo and Tummyache at a pretty young age.

[Leanna Tomlinson]

Thanks for the replies! I'm encouraged!! :)

 

.....my boys, who are 18 months apart cooperatively painted the basement together with 6 quarts of tempra paints when they were 3 and 4.5. :D

[SailorMom]

My kids were 14 months apart - when my youngest turned two, life got a lot easier :)

[Joyofsixreboot]

Mine didn't really sync up until probably 3 and 4 but they've been tight ever since. I worry about what will happen to my 15yo Aspie boy when his older brother goes off to his future. They've been each others best friend for soooo long. (Enemies sometime too of course).