'Superior' Chinese mom misunderstood

[Wildiris]

SF Gate: 'Superior' Chinese mom misunderstood reads the title of the this article by Jeff Yang.

 

 

For all the flaming this woman took from the Wall Street Journal article it seems the WSJ's book review missed the fact that Chua's book is a memoir and not a how-t0 on Asian parenting. Read the above article, it may give you a moments pause for thought or at least serve as a reminder to reserve judgment before reading a book yourself.

[cindergretta]

In the other thread, I posted a link where she explains her motives about the book and her parenting process. It was enlightening and made a lot of sense.

[Wildiris]

I didn't see your link, but that post became pages and pages long. Sorry I missed your link.

[Snowfall]

So I wonder if all the people in the thread who agreed with her methods as they believed them to be based on the article would still agree with her methods as they really are - when she admits she was wrong for acting the way the article shows she did. Interesting. :)

[cindergretta]

So I wonder if all the people in the thread who agreed with her methods as they believed them to be based on the article would still agree with her methods as they really are - when she admits she was wrong for acting the way the article shows she did. Interesting. :)

 

I wondered about that, too.

 

No apologies for missing any links!! :grouphug: That thread had a lot of links and a LOT of posts!! I'm guessing there were many things that got overlooked and double - posted and generally misunderstood! :lol:

[Guest]

Yes; the NYT finally had an article where they discussed the END of the book, which highly qualifies, even backs away, from the earlier stories. And they couldn't say this in the original article because??? It looks to me like a ploy to generate controversy and attract readers.

[Ohdanigirl]

In the other thread, I posted a link where she explains her motives about the book and her parenting process. It was enlightening and made a lot of sense.

 

I listened to the interview, was that your link. Very interesting.

 

Danielle

[stripe]

And they couldn't say this in the original article because??? It looks to me like a ploy to generate controversy and attract readers.

But Ms Chua didn't write the WSJ article, nor did she have control over it, so I don't think she orchestrated it, AND the WSJ people won't benefit, so therefore I don't think so.

 

Since this is a homeschooling board, I think a question that deserves pondering is-- since so many immigrants (since Ms Chua, who is not an immigrant, does not believe this is a Chinese thing, but rather an immigrant mentality towards education and achievement) are in favor of high achievement, why aren't more immigrants homeschooling? (And why do many immigrants view homeschooling with a lot of skepticism?)

[TracyR]

Good question to ask. I'll have to find out the answer to that question as to why most don't homeschool or look favorably upon it.

 

Anyways after having some converstions with Chinese mothers , this is NOT the way the Chinese bring up their children. The author basically is promoting verbal abuse. None that I've talked to ever said their parents ever called them worthless or garbage or anything of the fact.

The only thing that Chinese parents really do is expect good grades from their children ( shouldn't we all?) and they help them to achieve it. I have been told they've been guilty of overscheduling with activities. They like to keep their children busy, but at the same time I've noticed some of them are realizing that its not always a good thing as then when the kids get bored they can't occupy themselves.

 

In the end Chinese parenting has its own flaws. Its not perfect. Can we learn from some of it? Sure. I think American parents should expect their children to work hard and get good grades. Its the only way your going to get through life. Can we show our children if they work hard they can achieve something? Sure. I think to many children these days give up way to quickly on things.

 

In the end its all about expectations. What do you expect from your children?

[stripe]

Anyways after having some converstions with Chinese mothers , this is NOT the way the Chinese bring up their children. ...

The only thing that Chinese parents really do is expect good grades from their children ( shouldn't we all?) and they help them to achieve it.

I've known plenty of Asian immigrant parents, and seen how they've raised their kids (not relying on the parents' own accounts, in which case they might be less likely to confess to abuse!). In some cases "all" they really do is expect high grades. In other cases, it's much more than this, and in some of those cases, it is abusive. I am not speaking about Ms Chua but generally. I know someone who could probably be described as ending up losing her mind due to her father's pressure.

 

There are things she puts on her list that are genuinely funny, such as not putting your kid in anything where they won't win a prize. Funny because that's stereotypically true. There are a lot of Asian American kids in violin, piano, and spelling bees. Not so many pushed into drums or cheerleading by their parents, because that's not their parents' idea of what's important or helpful or expanding for the mind.

[Dmmetler]

Maybe because a lot of Asian immigrant families have both parents actively working/pursuing higher education, and grandparents are often providing child care, which puts them in a generation that just plain didn't homeschool much? That's the case of many of my Asian students, anyway-both parents are either professionals or are pursuing professional degrees.

[Guest]

But Ms Chua didn't write the WSJ article, nor did she have control over it, so I don't think she orchestrated it, AND the WSJ people won't benefit, so therefore I don't think so.

 

Since this is a homeschooling board, I think a question that deserves pondering is-- since so many immigrants (since Ms Chua, who is not an immigrant, does not believe this is a Chinese thing, but rather an immigrant mentality towards education and achievement) are in favor of high achievement, why aren't more immigrants homeschooling? (And why do many immigrants view homeschooling with a lot of skepticism?)

 

I didn't mean SHE is looking to get readers and controversy, but perhaps that the WSJ and NYT are. They will indeed benefit if the controversy draws more readers and numbers on their websites.

[ocelotmom]

Since this is a homeschooling board, I think a question that deserves pondering is-- since so many immigrants (since Ms Chua, who is not an immigrant, does not believe this is a Chinese thing, but rather an immigrant mentality towards education and achievement) are in favor of high achievement, why aren't more immigrants homeschooling? (And why do many immigrants view homeschooling with a lot of skepticism?)

One thing I've read (a while ago, totally unrelated to this book) is that many immigrants come from countries where questioning the state falls somewhere on the spectrum between socially unacceptable and downright dangerous. Homeschooling would fall into the category of questioning the state, and therefore it simply isn't part of their worldview.

 

Some also come from countries where going to school is a privilege not available to everyone, and it's difficult for them to imagine choosing not to send your child to school when it's freely available.

[stripe]

Sure, and there's also a category of people who are not sufficiently educated to teach their own kids (they may be illiterate, marginally literate, and/or not well versed in English).

 

I have actually met a few immigrants (although some of them are more like people who are living in the US in a long term basis but not permanently, such as students) who homeschool their kids, and one who intends to if he ever has any. However, I find the category interesting, as my husband is an immigrant.