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Today was my foster son's birthday.

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Happy Birthday!



Foster Parenting is such a bittersweet endeavor.



When dd4 was turning 1yo, we let her bio-parents throw her birthday party and we attended as 'guests'. They brought the cake, decorated and brought presents. (Dd4 is my bio-great niece, she has been with us since she was 5mo)


Unfortunately, they didn't pull their lives together and we finalized on her at 2yo.


We have allowed visitation for them all along and encourage them to call her. FFWD 3yrs, and her bio-father made a quick call to her on her birthday (didn't bother with a visit) and didn't even call at all for Christmas. :(


I get that they are disappointed that they don't have her, but seriously, they have a chance to have some relationship with her and choose not too. She is family to us, so she will grow up hearing about her bio-mom (my neice) and her grandmother (my sister). There won't be any illusion for her that they did anything but purposely walk away.

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But I am sad for his mom whom I'm sure is mourning on this day. I am sure she thought about him today and, well, it just makes me feel sad.

Congratulations on the birthday party! Those are so special! However, don't be so sure the mom is mourning the day. I think many, if not most do, but not all. The biological mother of my dd3 couldn't remember her birthdate when we were in court. The last time we saw her she couldn't remember dd's age... I still don't get it.

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That is so sweet for your foster child.


I am more sad for the children, then the mother's, in foster care.


My friend fostered children. She told me that they often came to her never having a birthday celebration, gifts, etc. Little to call their own, besides what they dragged with them from house to foster house in garbage bags. Even half of what they did bring was junk, because, from what she said, some foster homes kept the "good stuff" and just sent the child on to his next home with cast-offs. They were just so scarred, in their hearts and minds, from the foster care system. Heartbreaking.


It is nice to hear about good families fostering, giving these little children moments of reprieve and happiness, like all children should enjoy.

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