Hive preparation for "unsocialized" family members...

[mama2cntrykids]

I usually just say that it's what is best for our family. I rarely negative comments though. This year I did invite one of my aunts who questions hsing quite a bit (she used to teach special ed many years ago). I don't let her bother me though. I just answer the questions and move on. Much of it on her part is curiousity with some hard feelings thrown in for good measure. The hard feelings are, "Well, I had to go to college for FOUR years to be able to teach and I took teaching classes". My reply to that? "Yes, but you got PAID to teach..."

[lovetobehome]

I engage a lot more than I need to, but I like to educate people a bit and hope to give homeschooling a good reputation by doing so. It usually seems to work, I don't get too many arguments, probably because I let them know I WAS a PS teacher and this is a much better option for my family.

I like to say, "I was a public school teacher before my children were born. THAT was enough to convince me I would did not want my children in that environment. I love being with my children, they are getting a fabulous education, and I am very pleased with their socialization." If they push on the socialization part, which they often do, I just tell them THAT IS one of the main reasons I homeschool. I tell them how displeased I am with the current trends, attitudes, and lack of respect in teens these days. No one argues with that. I tell them that the homeschool families I have known all had wonderful relationships between the teens and the parents and they carry this into adulthood. Far different than most non-hs kids who have rebellion issues. I then tell them that everywhere I go, complete strangers come up to me and tell me how wonderfully behaved, engaging and polite my children are (and when people tell me or my children this, I tell them, "Thank you, I think it is because they are homeschooled and have my love and attention all the time, so they do not need to act out to get attention"). I remind them that homeschooled children learn to interact with people of all ages. I point out that it is unnatural for people to be thrown into a group where everyone is the exact same age and has no positive role model, and then go through how that leads to the lowest common denominator effect in terms of behavior and standards. Sometimes I tell them that I believe God designed the FAMILY, not the school, and that children are best reared by those who unconditionally love them and care for them. And in a family, they learn to cooperate, respect each other, the olders have younger ones to look after and nurture, and the youngers have olders to look up to as role models. I tell them when I was a PS teacher, devoted as I was, I could not possibly meet the needs of 30 different kids each hour. 3 is much easier to manage. I tell them homeschool kids on the whole test several grades above public schoolers and it has been proven study after study that homeschoolers excel in every measure.

I then ask them if they think MY kids have social problems. This ends the conversation, because my children ARE engaging and interesting and enjoy talking to adults, teens, toddlers, etc.

When they say, "That's great, but I couldn't do it, I don't have the patience." I say, "I didn't begin homeschooling with lots of patience. I have developed patience through homeschooling. You can do it if you want to do it, but it isn't for everyone."

No one has ever said anything once I say that, unless they give a compliment. But otherwise, that ends it, and I feel I have conquered some misconceptions.

Oh one more thing. Sometimes people (esp teachers) will say, well that is great that you homeschool because you are qualified since you were a teacher. I always stop them and say that this is not accurate. I tell them that I learned nothing in my teacher prep education that would be necessary for educating one's own children. I tell them that the thing that makes a mother/father most suited for homeschooling is their unconditional love for their own flesh and blood. Nothing could make a person more motivated to educate their child. Occasionally someone will bring up abuse cases, and I point out that I had many children in public school who were obviously seriously abused by their parents, and the school was not able to do much about it, they turned a blind eye. I will also point out that this is statistically MUCH more rare in homeschooling situations. Then I usually say something about how much work it is to stay home 24/7 with children and point out that the people who sacrifice to do this do so out of a tremendous love for their children.

[ConnieB]

For those of you that have family who are disrespectful to the point of rude about your family's decision to homeschool....have you ever considered (politely) pointing out to them that at least your child(ren) are being taught to allow others to have their own opinions and that doing things differently is ok?

 

I think the rudeness that I hear about bothers me much more than someone objecting to homeschooling. Seriously. I'm pretty lucky because the few who disapprove or are concerned about our choice are at least smart enough to keep their feelings mostly under wraps, but when I hear some of the things that others go through I just find that so shocking. If MY children were to say things like that to another human being I would.....well, see that's a problem, I can't even think of a punishment. But it would not be pretty. And the fact that it's adults saying these things just shocks me even more....if my DH spoke like that to someone else I'd have serious concerns about our continuing compatibility, lol. I'm by no means a milktoast, but I would hope that I express my concerns and objections to something without it being an attack!

 

For those who have endure these attacks, I hope for your sakes that you receive as much positive compliments from total strangers as my family does to make up for the rude family members....and to strengthen your resolve that you must be doing something right! Our entire family doesn't have enough fingers and toes to count how often total strangers have commented on my children being polite or well behaved. I thank them of course, but in my head I'm wanting to scream out that they better be polite and well behaved and WHY is it so unusual? Sure wasn't so far from the norm when I was growing up that a stranger would comment.....no far from it, we'd get strangers commenting when we were rude or out of control....which now seems to be expected so that our children stand out as different by not being rude and out of control!

 

Ok...preaching to the choir on that one of course......but I do wish on each and every one at least once this week will meet a stranger who will reaffirm for you that you're doing the right thing!

[Sahamamama]

That's so sad. Is there really nothing good about your sister's children?

 

Oh, I didn't realize that you knew them personally. :glare:

[G5052]

I usually say something like -- "Homeschooling is the right choice for our family, and I am fullfilling all of the requirements and accountability that the state requires." No details, end of story.

 

There's also flack from homeschooling relatives, but that's another story...

[Twigs]

lovetobehome - great post!

 

Merry Christmas to all.

[LibraryLover]

Oh, I didn't realize that you knew them personally. :glare:

 

 

I don't, which is why I am asking.